THE GAEL SERRAN EXAMINER 4TH EDITION

Sazerac · 02-12-2001, 01:46 PM

THE GAEL SERRAN EXAMINER
4th Edition

Sazerac, Editor
Carg, Contributing Photojournalist

ÜBER-HORSE ESCAPES, FOUND ATOP SHURUGEON

The existence of the Über-Horse, equueus maximus, has long been a subject of debate among scholars of the Gael Serran, although many adventurers in the realm have claimed to have tamed and utilized such a beast. Such wild claims have been made as to the horse's ability to seat six (6!) adventurers comfortably and with no loss of coordination or speed, swim underwater, climb buildings, and perform other miraculous feats. Most of these claims have been debunked as "wild rumors", yet they persist. Today, the Gael Serran Examiner offers real proof as to the existence of one of these creatures and considerable support for its supernatural abilities: in this case, the ability to climb structures.

An unnamed party of adventurers who claimed to possess one of these Über-horses carelessly neglected it while chasing down some voracious Amazoni Mantraps in the shire. After defeating the plant life, they turned to find their horse gone. It took them the better part of a day to finally locate it, straddled atop the main drawbridge over the Ruins of Shurugeon Castle. The adventurers are mystified as to how the horse managed to get to the top of the structure.

"We are sure no Whirling Dervish spells were used," one of the adventurers was quoted as saying. "It could be that these miraculous beasts have the ability to fly, but, most logically, we believe that the horse actually climbed to the top of the structure."

Whatever the method this fantastic creature used to get to the top, it was evident that it was unable to climb down. A rope and truss method had to be employed to attempt to lower the creature to the bridge beneath. This method was only partially successful, for halfway down the ropes broke and tumbled the horse directly into the moat of Shurugeon, whereupon it was quickly retrieved before the insatiable moat pirannha found it. Afterward, when the horse was checked for injuries, it whinnied, "I've fallen and I can't giddyup!"

The horse is reported to be in good condition again.

Not everyone in Ishad N'ha is reported to be pleased with this incident. A group of radical right-wing animal and plant life activists has formed and are pressing Lord Barrenhawk, governor of Ishad N'ha, to impose sanctions on adventurers' exploitation of these oppressed creatures.

"Isn't it bad enough that six big-butted knights clad in full plate armor attempt to seat the back of one of these poor animals, without having them swim underwater?" demanded Shirelle L'Favre, the female elven ranger who has founded the activism group. "We are here today to make a stand for the humane rights and treatment of these rare creatures, along with the innocent Amazoni Mantraps who were mercilessly slaughtered for nothing more than the glory of these adventuring clods. Down with adventurers!"

At least twenty radical members were seen demonstrating in the streets, some advocating terrorist action against adventurers who persist in exploiting these animals. Their group, currently named "Serrans Helping Innocent Transports" is currently unrecognized by the government of Ishad N'ha, although a much-beleagered Lord Barrenhawk has begged the members to consider changing the name to one that forms a less objectional acronym.

Again, thanks to our contributing photojournalist Carg for his contribution of this rare sight.

Watch for the next edition of the Gael Serran Examiner. Remember: Minds that need examining want to KNOW!

-Sazerac, Editor

New and Improved! Get your SeaMonkeysTM Today!

They're fun! They're friendly! They're SeaMonkeys!
As seen in the Snake River, these loveable creatures make fine pets for the youth of the Gael Serran. Easy to care for, fun to play with! And Boogres like them, too! Just listen to what one of our satisfied customers, Pris'Kiela, has to say:

"Oooh! SeaMonkeys! Yummm Yummmm! *BUUURP*"

Order your SeaMonkey kits today! Available at your local Serpent Temple. Just 14 ducats, 95 pence, plus shipping and handling! Remember, there's only one type of SeaMonkeys! Accept no imitations!

Available only while supplies last. Void where prohibited by law.

[This message has been edited by Sazerac (edited 03-19-2001).]

meow · 02-12-2001, 01:49 PM

And I thought I was good when I go my horse stuck in the moat.

02-12-2001, 02:25 PM

Give me more, I need more!!

I need a copy of this to send back home.
The jester will love this one.

Elara · 02-12-2001, 02:52 PM

Giggling fit in progress..

I hope someone is archiving these!

Elara

Wyvern · 02-12-2001, 03:42 PM

Just too good to be true!!!

The only paper to read!!!

THUMBS UP!!

Wyv

02-12-2001, 08:32 PM

LOL! This one of my favorites! About time someone spoke up for the horse! Hey, my sea monkeys never looked like that!

02-12-2001, 09:37 PM

I thought I was the only one with the seamonkeys...

02-12-2001, 09:49 PM

Just relieved to know there were no "accidents from above" suffered by the party before the horse was found and lowered!

; )
Moni

Elara · 02-13-2001, 06:41 AM

Horsefeathers!!
*flicks ashes off cigar and waggles eyebrows*

Groucho Marx

Scronan · 02-13-2001, 01:58 PM

Saz,

HA HA HA HA! Great stuff, we want more! Thanks for some mid morning laughs!

Scronan

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02-12-2001, 01:46 PM	#1
Sazerac Ironworks Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Monroe, LA Age: 60 Posts: 7,387	THE GAEL SERRAN EXAMINER 4th Edition Sazerac, Editor Carg, Contributing Photojournalist ÜBER-HORSE ESCAPES, FOUND ATOP SHURUGEON The existence of the Über-Horse, equueus maximus, has long been a subject of debate among scholars of the Gael Serran, although many adventurers in the realm have claimed to have tamed and utilized such a beast. Such wild claims have been made as to the horse's ability to seat six (6!) adventurers comfortably and with no loss of coordination or speed, swim underwater, climb buildings, and perform other miraculous feats. Most of these claims have been debunked as "wild rumors", yet they persist. Today, the Gael Serran Examiner offers real proof as to the existence of one of these creatures and considerable support for its supernatural abilities: in this case, the ability to climb structures. An unnamed party of adventurers who claimed to possess one of these Über-horses carelessly neglected it while chasing down some voracious Amazoni Mantraps in the shire. After defeating the plant life, they turned to find their horse gone. It took them the better part of a day to finally locate it, straddled atop the main drawbridge over the Ruins of Shurugeon Castle. The adventurers are mystified as to how the horse managed to get to the top of the structure. "We are sure no Whirling Dervish spells were used," one of the adventurers was quoted as saying. "It could be that these miraculous beasts have the ability to fly, but, most logically, we believe that the horse actually climbed to the top of the structure." Whatever the method this fantastic creature used to get to the top, it was evident that it was unable to climb down. A rope and truss method had to be employed to attempt to lower the creature to the bridge beneath. This method was only partially successful, for halfway down the ropes broke and tumbled the horse directly into the moat of Shurugeon, whereupon it was quickly retrieved before the insatiable moat pirannha found it. Afterward, when the horse was checked for injuries, it whinnied, "I've fallen and I can't giddyup!" The horse is reported to be in good condition again. Not everyone in Ishad N'ha is reported to be pleased with this incident. A group of radical right-wing animal and plant life activists has formed and are pressing Lord Barrenhawk, governor of Ishad N'ha, to impose sanctions on adventurers' exploitation of these oppressed creatures. "Isn't it bad enough that six big-butted knights clad in full plate armor attempt to seat the back of one of these poor animals, without having them swim underwater?" demanded Shirelle L'Favre, the female elven ranger who has founded the activism group. "We are here today to make a stand for the humane rights and treatment of these rare creatures, along with the innocent Amazoni Mantraps who were mercilessly slaughtered for nothing more than the glory of these adventuring clods. Down with adventurers!" At least twenty radical members were seen demonstrating in the streets, some advocating terrorist action against adventurers who persist in exploiting these animals. Their group, currently named "Serrans Helping Innocent Transports" is currently unrecognized by the government of Ishad N'ha, although a much-beleagered Lord Barrenhawk has begged the members to consider changing the name to one that forms a less objectional acronym. Again, thanks to our contributing photojournalist Carg for his contribution of this rare sight. Watch for the next edition of the Gael Serran Examiner. Remember: Minds that need examining want to KNOW! -Sazerac, Editor New and Improved! Get your SeaMonkeysTM Today! They're fun! They're friendly! They're SeaMonkeys! As seen in the Snake River, these loveable creatures make fine pets for the youth of the Gael Serran. Easy to care for, fun to play with! And Boogres like them, too! Just listen to what one of our satisfied customers, Pris'Kiela, has to say: "Oooh! SeaMonkeys! Yummm Yummmm! BUUURP" Order your SeaMonkey kits today! Available at your local Serpent Temple. Just 14 ducats, 95 pence, plus shipping and handling! Remember, there's only one type of SeaMonkeys! Accept no imitations! Available only while supplies last. Void where prohibited by law. [This message has been edited by Sazerac (edited 03-19-2001).]

02-12-2001, 01:49 PM	#2
meow Elite Waterdeep Guard Join Date: March 9, 2001 Posts: 10	And I thought I was good when I go my horse stuck in the moat.

02-12-2001, 02:25 PM	#3
Lord Roberts Guest Posts: n/a	Give me more, I need more!! I need a copy of this to send back home. The jester will love this one.

02-12-2001, 02:52 PM	#4
Elara The Magister Join Date: February 28, 2001 Location: USA Posts: 109	Giggling fit in progress.. I hope someone is archiving these! Elara

02-12-2001, 03:42 PM	#5
Wyvern Ironworks Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Rural Paradise, MI Posts: 5,701	Just too good to be true!!! The only paper to read!!! THUMBS UP!! Wyv

02-12-2001, 08:32 PM	#6
Lily the Ranger Guest Posts: n/a	LOL! This one of my favorites! About time someone spoke up for the horse! Hey, my sea monkeys never looked like that!

02-12-2001, 09:37 PM	#7
adam mage Guest Posts: n/a	I thought I was the only one with the seamonkeys...

02-12-2001, 09:49 PM	#8
Moni Guest Posts: n/a	Just relieved to know there were no "accidents from above" suffered by the party before the horse was found and lowered! ; ) Moni

02-13-2001, 06:41 AM	#9
Elara The Magister Join Date: February 28, 2001 Location: USA Posts: 109	Horsefeathers!! flicks ashes off cigar and waggles eyebrows Groucho Marx

02-13-2001, 01:58 PM	#10
Scronan Zhentarim Guard Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Washington State Posts: 315	Saz, HA HA HA HA! Great stuff, we want more! Thanks for some mid morning laughs! Scronan

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