Against the Evil Overlord

I don't seem to be able to find it on the net, but in the most recent issue of Knights of the Dinner Table was an amusing article for those FACING the evil overlords. a few of my favourite quotes:

"If my girlfriend is in clear imminent danger of becoming the next designated Sacrifical Virgin, I'll at least SUGGEST the obvious solution, even if it gets me slapped"

"shooting the evil overlord in the back will NOT make me as evil as he is"

"If mym deead mentor appears as a glowing apparition and tells me what to do, I won't argue with him"

"letting the Evil Overlord fall to his death will NOT make me as evil as he is"

[Lioness]

[img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] LOL.

[Kaltia]

Heh, good one...an out of context quote but still quite funny-"I'll catch him and cut his heart out with a spoon!
Why a spoon?
Because it hurts!"-The Sheriff of Nottingham in one of the many robin hood movies...it made me laugh

some more titbits from this article:

1) When my intrepid party reaches the scenic overlook point where the vast array of the enemy's evil yet fascinating military-industrial facilities is spread out in an awesome tableau below us, we will not crouch down and stare at it. We'll assume that the enemy's border guards also enjoy the view deom the vantage point, and get our butts out of there pronto.

2) Before embarking on the epic quest, I will suggest to the council of Ancient and All-Knowing Yet Oddly Powerless Beings that, instead of hiking hundreds of leagues on foot into the Dark Land and being air-lifted out by the Great Eagle, we do it the other way around.

3) I will not make wisecracks to my torturers. They're just trying to do their job, and I am secure enough in my heroism not to have to prove it by withstanding the EXTRA-severe torture they reserve for those who piss them off.

[Kaltia]

Originally posted by Lord Shield: some more titbits from this article: 1) When my intrepid party reaches the scenic overlook point where the vast array of the enemy's evil yet fascinating military-industrial facilities is spread out in an awesome tableau below us, we will not crouch down and stare at it. We'll assume that the enemy's border guards also enjoy the view deom the vantage point, and get our butts out of there pronto. 2) Before embarking on the epic quest, I will suggest to the council of Ancient and All-Knowing Yet Oddly Powerless Beings that, instead of hiking hundreds of leagues on foot into the Dark Land and being air-lifted out by the Great Eagle, we do it the other way around. 3) I will not make wisecracks to my torturers. They're just trying to do their job, and I am secure enough in my heroism not to have to prove it by withstanding the EXTRA-severe torture they reserve for those who piss them off.

LOL. lord Shield disses every single film or book hero there is...

i didn't write this stuff originally. As I said it was all from this comic I have. There's loads of these things in small print LOL!!

"Should I succeed in my quest, I will not jeopardise my newly established heroic image. I will not engage in celebratory sex with the heroine without first making sure we are not under surveillance. Also, my comrades and I will not, under any circumstancecs, stand in a row and applaud ourselves"

"After obtaining a glowing jewelled ruune-inscribed dagger from an ancient tomb that the ghost of the greater wizard of the previous age led dme to in a vision, I will not wait until all my other weapons have failed, and half my colleagues have been devoured, before trying it out against the fearsome monster's seemingly-invulnerable hide"

"Obtaining vital information by torturing the Evil Overlord's captured henchman would NOT make me as evil as he is"