How easy is it to share private info...with a man?

[Larry_OHF]

I am on a role today with good ideas for chats with you guys/gals...
Another case...
If you ladies knew me only as the guy at your work who takes care of the mail-room and seems to be nice, would you share personal information with me, such as your pregnancy story, what birth control you are taking, how many times a month/week you make love to your husband, fantasies, what your husband does/doesn't do for you, etc? Well, I seem to have a way with people, as I am a very good conversationalist (especially with women, go figure...), and I can usually get them to tell me even their most private thoughts! I have had this talent since High-school when a girl that was a cheer-leader just sat down at my locker one day and told me about how her and her boyfriend were breaking up, and that she is seeing this other guy now, etc...
Point is, do you think this is strange for me to be able to get waht I want from you inconversation? Whay do people find me so easy to talk to? Do they trust me? Do they feel I listen better than their other friends? What is going on here?
(And note...I only enjoy talking with women about this stuff, though men can also fall prey to my persuation.
The reason for this topic is because I just spent 15 minutes learning about this ladie's sex life, here at work!

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Devoted member of the Ironworks
Loyal guardian of the OHF
Member of the Ancients' club
Faith beset in The Rocks
(they show the way, you know...)

[Melusine]

LOL I know the feeling, Larry....I get those people a lot as well...the worst was when I was at one of my favourite pubs some years ago and some girl just confided a *very* intimate and actually kind of gross sexual thing to me...she was not drunk or anything...I have no idea what caused it

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Melusine, High Queen of Fluffies, Archbabe of the OHF, the LH,
the HADB and the SPAE(Society for the
Prevention of Acronym Extinction) &
Official Entertainer Elf of the BG2 Bar

Your voice is ambrosia
Amy Brown Fantasy Art

LOL Mel

I don't normally confide in anyone but deeply trusted friends, being that confiding my deepest secrets in the guys I have dated made me vunerable for suffering future derogatory remarks meant to do nothing but hurt because I have a past (like they don't, they just never tell, nor do I use people's pasts against them) They used these remarks to make excuses for our failures in a relationship as if they were perfect and said I am hanging on to the past because they now have a past relationship they can compare theirs with me to. (*buzzer* WRONG!) Gosh I hope you can understand that LOL. I give everyone ample opportunity to prove themselves...not my fault some men are just alike (and I never bring comparisons from past relationships up either)!
Confiding in a guy you date is loading him with ammo to blame it all on you when the relationship fails.
Confiding in women who aren't trusted friends have gotten rumors rolling to make me look worse than everyone else so that they have something to feel good about themselves for.
You are a valuable relief to the women who confide in you. Keep their trust and you have friends for life not to mention a plethera of information that you may or may not be able to use in your relationship with your wife.

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You know childhood is over when a puddle seems like an obstacle instead of an opportunity.

Is Too! Is Not! Is Too! Is Not!



[This message has been edited by Moni (edited 08-23-2001).]

[Moridin]

It has been sort of the same with me since HS. I don't know what causes it but it happens. Women feel like they can (or need to) tell me everything. Not all women (of course) but at any one time 2 or 3. Maybe it is b/c I have always had a steady relationship and therefore am 'not available'. Or perhaps it is b/c I am a very good listener, do not judge, give pretty good advice, and don't do this just to 'get in her pants' so to speak. Throughout my life I have always had more girlfriends than guyfriends and these girlfriends, I guess, treat me like a 'girl' friend. They tell me about their boyfriend/husband, their sex lives, their period, their weight/hair/make-up problems.....

I hate to generalise but most men only care about 3 things; sports, drinking, and getting laid. I really could care less about sports, I'll drink if the occasion arises, but do not keep a 6-pack in the fridge, and while sex is an important aspect of my life, I really don't care if it happens once a day, once a month, or once a year....it really doens't matter in the long run....what I am trying to say is that I don't consider myself a 'typical' guy and therefore women feel at ease talking to me.

I will stop now as I have started to ramble

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Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig
I've got to admit it's getting better, it's getting better all the time

[Kaz]

I have never experienced this but my mother has something similiar, i consider it to be the equivalent of charisma 18 in BG: people, complete strangers, will talk to her. One of my most recent experiences with this was that, when we were in a crowded restaurant, one of the waitresses talked to her about, i think it was, why there were so many people right now, why there were generally less and what she was going to do now as if they were best friends. I do not have this quality, maybe i look too stressed or something. Anyway, this has puzzled me for a while.

[Redblueflare]

Nope I don't tell guys anything. That just gives them the dirt they need to bury you. I too have been a target for the ladies troubles. Why are you telling me this? I don't want to know! Most of the ladies down here see me as a good friend. (Unfortunately for me just a friend. To bad with the cuties down here Some of my own friends (Guy friends) tell me i'm to nice to em for listening. Is that even possible?

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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I just don't have to listen.

[SSJ4Sephiroth]

unfortunately, hardly anybody confides in me, even though im the quiet little boy in school! of course, i also brag about my massive intelligence network that covers 2 schools (not kidding), so they must assume ill find out sooner or later anyways. but still, i have a rather easy time talking about me to ppl of the opposite gender, but unfortunately the approach part doesnt really pick up for me, nor do i really confide with them unless they become my trusted friends. also, i look... different from everyone, rather dark, and they for some reason may believe that i will bring that into any future arguements, even though i wont. well, i see it as their loss of a good friend, and if they want to they can talk to me any time . once a conversation gets going with me, its hard to stop it!

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It's simple. Once the Planet is hurt, it gathers Spirit Energy to heal the injury. The amount of energy gathered depends on the size of the injury...What would happen if there was an injury that threatened the very life of the Planet? Think how much energy would be gathered! Ha, ha, ha. And at the center of that injury, wil be me. All that boundless energy will be mine. By merging with the energy of the Planet, I will be come a new life form, a new existence. Melding with the Planet, I will cease to exist as I am now. Only to be reborn as a 'God' to rule over every living soul.


Super Sephiroth, battle co-ordionator and defender of the HADB clan.

[Yorick]

You know I recently had a female friend of mine - quite a stunner actually - confide in me only a few days after her honeymoon all of their sexual problems and how frustrated she was etc etc.

I listened. I offered some advice, and then recommended in future she talk to her female friends about such intimate details, as it would have highly embaressed him (and, though I didn't voice it, risk establishing a connection of intimate revelation that given time undermines a relationship) had he known I knew.


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I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on....

A fair dinkum laughing Hyena!

[This message has been edited by Yorick (edited 08-23-2001).]

[Larry_OHF]

Originally posted by Moridin: It has been sort of the same with me since HS. I don't know what causes it but it happens. Women feel like they can (or need to) tell me everything. Not all women (of course) but at any one time 2 or 3. Maybe it is b/c I have always had a steady relationship and therefore am 'not available'. Or perhaps it is b/c I am a very good listener, do not judge, give pretty good advice, and don't do this just to 'get in her pants' so to speak. Throughout my life I have always had more girlfriends than guyfriends and these girlfriends, I guess, treat me like a 'girl' friend. They tell me about their boyfriend/husband, their sex lives, their period, their weight/hair/make-up problems..... I hate to generalise but most men only care about 3 things; sports, drinking, and getting laid. I really could care less about sports, I'll drink if the occasion arises, but do not keep a 6-pack in the fridge, and while sex is an important aspect of my life, I really don't care if it happens once a day, once a month, or once a year....it really doens't matter in the long run....what I am trying to say is that I don't consider myself a 'typical' guy and therefore women feel at ease talking to me. I will stop now as I have started to ramble

You must be that brother of mine that I never knew I had!!!



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Devoted member of the Ironworks
Loyal guardian of the OHF
Member of the Ancients' club
Faith beset in The Rocks
(they show the way, you know...)

Yes, people confide in me - I confide only in those I know though

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In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is pimp.
Lord Raptor's Site