First half of Chapter 1 in the ALSB-KFA story!

Kaz · 10-21-2001, 04:30 PM

All right, this is chapter one, part one. (I'll be turning up in the next half) Enjoy! Larry_OHF, Avatar, if you don't like the way I've portrayed you, tell me! DragonMage, if you think you want to change something (we're doing this together, right?), do say...

Avatar was sitting sadly in the corner of the cafe. It was full, with the noisy patrons laughing, swapping tales and telling jokes. The proprietor Cloudbringer and the two waitresses bustled back and forth in an effort to serve everyone. Only Avatar was quiet and lonely, thinking on what had just happened to him. The medium-sized young elf smoothed down his emerald and gold clothes, exposing the elven chain underneath. The low lighting glinted off coalblack hair and made his hazelnut brown eyes seem dark, like a bottomless pool. He fingered the stain on his shoulder, courtesy of an apple thrown at him by jeering children. That is what we get for following our Goddess - laughter. Why? The other gods are treated with respect, however Aerie gets laughed at and demeaned regularly. We, her loyal followers, are ridiculed and chased. There must be some way to demand our equality, to be respected! Avatar gasped as an idea struck him. We are chased because we are alone, or in small groups. Yet I know that there are more loyal followers - Larry_OHF, Zoltan… I must talk to them! We must unite against this oppression! We will form a Sacred Band to worship our Goddess!
Looking around, Avatar saw Larry_OHF sitting at a table a short distance away, also alone, sadly staring at his mug of cider. His human friend seemed gloomy, running his fingers through his short dark hair. Avatar stood up and joined him. "Hard day?" he asked sympathetically. "Those annoying young hooligans!" Larry snapped, obviously angry. "Did they throw things at you too?" Avatar said, pointing at the fruit stain. Larry looked up and sighed. "I cannot believe that we are treated this way. I mean, some people support us and think that we should be allowed to believe in what we want, but they are the minority. Whenever I go to pay my respects to the Goddess, I am taunted and laughed at. But they have never thrown things before!" Avatar sat down in front of Larry, wondering on how to present his idea.
"You know, Larry…" he began. "The only times we are harrassed like that are when we are alone or in small groups. But when we are all together, for instance on our holy day Mors Firkraagis, they may snigger behind our backs, but they do not dare attack us openly. Now this is my suggestion: let us unite, become one group! Like the HADB and the Order of the Holy Flame - all for one and one for all!" Larry looked at Avatar, stunned. "That is a very good idea, I cannot believe none of us has thought of that before! No one would treat us like this then. We could demand that these things stop in front of the Court of the Moderators, plead our case in front of the High Judge Ziroc." Avatar smiled, relieved that his friend thought his plan to be good. "I see Zoltan in a corner there, I will go ask him if he will join us. As a Priest of Aerie, he will know many of her followers." Larry left the table.

Well? Comments!

------------------

Sapphire Dragoness of ALSB
Waitress at Cloudy's Cafe
Guardian of the Temple of Aerie (specialized in GenCon and BG)
Magess of Lady Lioness' Court
Saint of the SoS
Historian of IW
Most Illustrious Arch-Magess of the Illuminati
Lux omnis est
Once Upon A Paper Writer's Forum

[This message has been edited by Kaz (edited 10-21-2001).]

SSJ4Sephiroth · 10-21-2001, 04:33 PM

well, its quite interesting, however i assume the full version will be longer, right?

------------------
It's simple. Once the Planet is hurt, it gathers Spirit Energy to heal the injury. The amount of energy gathered depends on the size of the injury...What would happen if there was an injury that threatened the very life of the Planet? Think how much energy would be gathered! Ha, ha, ha. And at the center of that injury, wil be me. All that boundless energy will be mine. By merging with the energy of the Planet, I will be come a new life form, a new existence. Melding with the Planet, I will cease to exist as I am now. Only to be reborn as a 'God' to rule over every living soul.

What are you saying? Are you trying to tell me you have feelings now? Ha, ha, ha... Stop acting as if you're sad. And there's no need to act as if you're angry either. Because, Cloud, you are... a puppet.

Shadow Dragon of the DotW
Super Sephiroth, slayer of the Uber Fluffy, and battle co-ordionator and defender of the HADB clan.
Follower of the mighty Fallen Paladin himself.
Diplomacy is all and well, but HADB is better!
Head of the IronWorks Intelligence Division
Official Soup Server and bumper of Cloudy's Cafe
Possessor of the Aerie Diamond Head from the ALSB.
Page in the Court of Lady Lioness

Stalking the woodlands,
the Lioness in my sight,
warm feelings doth come,
into my lonely heart

Neb · 10-21-2001, 04:35 PM

Ooooooh! VERY well written Kaz! I'm looking forward to the next part!

Kaz · 10-21-2001, 04:37 PM

I think I finished Physics (mostly guesswork) now for the next part...

Kaz · 10-21-2001, 05:06 PM

All right, second half done. Here goes - DragonMage, next chapter is yours!

Avatar was watching Larry speak to Zoltan when a voice behind him said, "Would you like anything?" He spun around to see Kazara standing there, looking at him expectantly. The waitress was looking harrassed. Small even for an elf, Kaz walked very straight to compensate. She wore dark green robes, the same color as her eyes, and had pushed her black hair behind pointy ears to show a pale and delicate face. Standing with her hands on her hips, Avatar could see how very thin she was. "No, I'm just meeting some friends," Avatar said, too excited for smalltalk. "I heard what you were saying to Larry_OHF. Is it true that one suffers so much when one is a follower of Aerie?" Kaz asked in her quiet voice. "Yes, indeed," Avatar said bitterly. "When we pray to our Goddess, we are ridiculed. When we go out, we are laughed at. Children throw eggs at us, their parents do not stop them. Soon they will join in too - it is hard, being an Aerie worshipper in Ironworks. I will try to forge us into a group, but I do not know if it will work - too many of us are too tired, too sick of all this. We need strong people to hold us together. We need new members! I say," Avatar exclaimed, "would you not consider joining us?" Kaz looked surprised. "Me?" "Yes, you. You seem understanding and respectful of Aerie, accepting her as a true Goddess," Avatar said. "Well, I do not know anything of Aerie, as I come from the North where she is not. I am a follower of Jaheira, though." Avatar thought. "Hm… Jaheira and Aerie seem close enough to me. Many followers of Aerie also worship Jaheira. Actually, the religions of Aerie and Jaheira are tied very closely together, we could also have Jaheira worshippers in our Band. And you would understand what our Goddess stands for soon enough upon entering. We would not force you to stay, you could leave if you do not agree with our views." Kaz pondered it for long moments and then said, "All right, I agree. I will join your… what is the name of the group?" "We are the Aerie Loving Sacred Band, the ALSB," Avatar replied proudly.
"Kaz! I need you!" Kaz, startled, looked at Cloudy who was standing in front of the kitchen. She had a menacing scowl on her face, brandishing a wooden spoon. "Uh, sorry, have to go," Kaz said quickly and walked quickly away. Avatar could hear Cloudy berating her. I suppose the many customers stress Cloudy, she is normally the embodiment of friendliness. From across the room, Larry looked at Avatar and smiled. Zoltan had joined the ALSB.

------------------

Sapphire Dragoness of ALSB
Waitress at Cloudy's Cafe
Guardian of the Temple of Aerie (specialized in GenCon and BG)
Magess of Lady Lioness' Court
Saint of the SoS
Historian of IW
Most Illustrious Arch-Magess of the Illuminati
Lux omnis est
Once Upon A Paper Writer's Forum

Avatar · 10-21-2001, 05:29 PM

I can help you with Physics Kaz!

This is very good except I wear chainmail rather than robes

Other than that don't forget:

Zoltan, YOU

Wavy and Elif!

Also how come your english is sooo good?
Can I take part in the writing? just a TINY bit?

Kaz · 10-21-2001, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Avatar:
I can help you with Physics Kaz!

This is very good except I wear chainmail rather than robes
Other than that don't forget:

Zoltan, YOU Wavy and Elif!

Also how come your english is sooo good?
Can I take part in the writing? just a TINY bit?

oops - OK will be changed. Zoltan - where is he anyway? I need description! Wavy and Elif will be joining soon too. You'd have to ask DragonMage about helping, but you could (maybe) help me describe the Temple when I get to that point - also the religion of Aerie! I have gotten this far: 1 holiday called Mors Firkraagis (Latin, "The Death of Firkraag" LOL). When - ? Relatively large celebration. Anything else you can think of?
My English is good because I lived in America for 6 years

you do pick up quite a bit, especially since I was there from Kindergarden to fifth grade.
I think I've managed Physics - well somehow. It's way to late to think about that now anyway! I'll probably be posting more questions tomorrow (there is one posted)

[This message has been edited by Kaz (edited 10-21-2001).]

Larry_OHF · 10-21-2001, 07:11 PM

You have my blessings to continue, my friend.
I really like how you came up with a good opener chapter to place things where we really did not have them. It makes the story that much more complete. I cannot wait to see you lay the latter chapters down!

------------------

3rd Member of the Ancient OHF
Diamond Ranger of the ALSB (secretarial position & Ambassador)
Father of the wicked but cute child known as MaryBeth

Padre de una niña bien traviosa pero guapa
---------------------
Aisukuríimu ga tabetái desu.

Killing Spree · 10-21-2001, 07:40 PM

When do we get to the good part?! The drunks will not perk their ears to this!

I would not mind whatsoever telling this from the KFA standpoint... So far it's Aerie-biased...

I think that would only be fair, though Desuma may be more fitted to this leg of the story.

Just call me when you want the Swords Of Time and The One Eyed Wolf typed up!

------------------
"A man who won't die for something is not fit to live."

Larry_OHF · 10-21-2001, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Killing Spree:
When do we get to the good part?! The drunks will not perk their ears to this!

I would not mind whatsoever telling this from the KFA standpoint... So far it's Aerie-biased... I think that would only be fair, though Desuma may be more fitted to this leg of the story.

Just call me when you want the Swords Of Time and The One Eyed Wolf typed up!

Take her up on that offer!

------------------

3rd Member of the Ancient OHF
Diamond Ranger of the ALSB (secretarial position & Ambassador)
Father of the wicked but cute child known as MaryBeth

Padre de una niña bien traviosa pero guapa
---------------------
Aisukuríimu ga tabetái desu.

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10-21-2001, 04:30 PM	#1
Kaz Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom Join Date: August 16, 2001 Location: UK Posts: 2,891	All right, this is chapter one, part one. (I'll be turning up in the next half) Enjoy! Larry_OHF, Avatar, if you don't like the way I've portrayed you, tell me! DragonMage, if you think you want to change something (we're doing this together, right?), do say... Avatar was sitting sadly in the corner of the cafe. It was full, with the noisy patrons laughing, swapping tales and telling jokes. The proprietor Cloudbringer and the two waitresses bustled back and forth in an effort to serve everyone. Only Avatar was quiet and lonely, thinking on what had just happened to him. The medium-sized young elf smoothed down his emerald and gold clothes, exposing the elven chain underneath. The low lighting glinted off coalblack hair and made his hazelnut brown eyes seem dark, like a bottomless pool. He fingered the stain on his shoulder, courtesy of an apple thrown at him by jeering children. That is what we get for following our Goddess - laughter. Why? The other gods are treated with respect, however Aerie gets laughed at and demeaned regularly. We, her loyal followers, are ridiculed and chased. There must be some way to demand our equality, to be respected! Avatar gasped as an idea struck him. We are chased because we are alone, or in small groups. Yet I know that there are more loyal followers - Larry_OHF, Zoltan… I must talk to them! We must unite against this oppression! We will form a Sacred Band to worship our Goddess! Looking around, Avatar saw Larry_OHF sitting at a table a short distance away, also alone, sadly staring at his mug of cider. His human friend seemed gloomy, running his fingers through his short dark hair. Avatar stood up and joined him. "Hard day?" he asked sympathetically. "Those annoying young hooligans!" Larry snapped, obviously angry. "Did they throw things at you too?" Avatar said, pointing at the fruit stain. Larry looked up and sighed. "I cannot believe that we are treated this way. I mean, some people support us and think that we should be allowed to believe in what we want, but they are the minority. Whenever I go to pay my respects to the Goddess, I am taunted and laughed at. But they have never thrown things before!" Avatar sat down in front of Larry, wondering on how to present his idea. "You know, Larry…" he began. "The only times we are harrassed like that are when we are alone or in small groups. But when we are all together, for instance on our holy day Mors Firkraagis, they may snigger behind our backs, but they do not dare attack us openly. Now this is my suggestion: let us unite, become one group! Like the HADB and the Order of the Holy Flame - all for one and one for all!" Larry looked at Avatar, stunned. "That is a very good idea, I cannot believe none of us has thought of that before! No one would treat us like this then. We could demand that these things stop in front of the Court of the Moderators, plead our case in front of the High Judge Ziroc." Avatar smiled, relieved that his friend thought his plan to be good. "I see Zoltan in a corner there, I will go ask him if he will join us. As a Priest of Aerie, he will know many of her followers." Larry left the table. Well? Comments! ------------------ Sapphire Dragoness of ALSB Waitress at Cloudy's Cafe Guardian of the Temple of Aerie (specialized in GenCon and BG) Magess of Lady Lioness' Court Saint of the SoS Historian of IW Most Illustrious Arch-Magess of the Illuminati Lux omnis est Once Upon A Paper Writer's Forum [This message has been edited by Kaz (edited 10-21-2001).]

10-21-2001, 04:33 PM	#2
SSJ4Sephiroth Beholder Join Date: May 4, 2001 Location: The Outside Looking In Age: 37 Posts: 4,361	well, its quite interesting, however i assume the full version will be longer, right? ------------------ It's simple. Once the Planet is hurt, it gathers Spirit Energy to heal the injury. The amount of energy gathered depends on the size of the injury...What would happen if there was an injury that threatened the very life of the Planet? Think how much energy would be gathered! Ha, ha, ha. And at the center of that injury, wil be me. All that boundless energy will be mine. By merging with the energy of the Planet, I will be come a new life form, a new existence. Melding with the Planet, I will cease to exist as I am now. Only to be reborn as a 'God' to rule over every living soul. What are you saying? Are you trying to tell me you have feelings now? Ha, ha, ha... Stop acting as if you're sad. And there's no need to act as if you're angry either. Because, Cloud, you are... a puppet. Shadow Dragon of the DotW Super Sephiroth, slayer of the Uber Fluffy, and battle co-ordionator and defender of the HADB clan. Follower of the mighty Fallen Paladin himself. Diplomacy is all and well, but HADB is better! Head of the IronWorks Intelligence Division Official Soup Server and bumper of Cloudy's Cafe Possessor of the Aerie Diamond Head from the ALSB. Page in the Court of Lady Lioness Stalking the woodlands, the Lioness in my sight, warm feelings doth come, into my lonely heart

10-21-2001, 04:35 PM	#3
Neb Account deleted by Request Join Date: May 17, 2001 Location: . Age: 38 Posts: 8,802	Ooooooh! VERY well written Kaz! I'm looking forward to the next part!

10-21-2001, 04:37 PM	#4
Kaz Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom Join Date: August 16, 2001 Location: UK Posts: 2,891	I think I finished Physics (mostly guesswork) now for the next part...

10-21-2001, 05:06 PM	#5
Kaz Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom Join Date: August 16, 2001 Location: UK Posts: 2,891	All right, second half done. Here goes - DragonMage, next chapter is yours! Avatar was watching Larry speak to Zoltan when a voice behind him said, "Would you like anything?" He spun around to see Kazara standing there, looking at him expectantly. The waitress was looking harrassed. Small even for an elf, Kaz walked very straight to compensate. She wore dark green robes, the same color as her eyes, and had pushed her black hair behind pointy ears to show a pale and delicate face. Standing with her hands on her hips, Avatar could see how very thin she was. "No, I'm just meeting some friends," Avatar said, too excited for smalltalk. "I heard what you were saying to Larry_OHF. Is it true that one suffers so much when one is a follower of Aerie?" Kaz asked in her quiet voice. "Yes, indeed," Avatar said bitterly. "When we pray to our Goddess, we are ridiculed. When we go out, we are laughed at. Children throw eggs at us, their parents do not stop them. Soon they will join in too - it is hard, being an Aerie worshipper in Ironworks. I will try to forge us into a group, but I do not know if it will work - too many of us are too tired, too sick of all this. We need strong people to hold us together. We need new members! I say," Avatar exclaimed, "would you not consider joining us?" Kaz looked surprised. "Me?" "Yes, you. You seem understanding and respectful of Aerie, accepting her as a true Goddess," Avatar said. "Well, I do not know anything of Aerie, as I come from the North where she is not. I am a follower of Jaheira, though." Avatar thought. "Hm… Jaheira and Aerie seem close enough to me. Many followers of Aerie also worship Jaheira. Actually, the religions of Aerie and Jaheira are tied very closely together, we could also have Jaheira worshippers in our Band. And you would understand what our Goddess stands for soon enough upon entering. We would not force you to stay, you could leave if you do not agree with our views." Kaz pondered it for long moments and then said, "All right, I agree. I will join your… what is the name of the group?" "We are the Aerie Loving Sacred Band, the ALSB," Avatar replied proudly. "Kaz! I need you!" Kaz, startled, looked at Cloudy who was standing in front of the kitchen. She had a menacing scowl on her face, brandishing a wooden spoon. "Uh, sorry, have to go," Kaz said quickly and walked quickly away. Avatar could hear Cloudy berating her. I suppose the many customers stress Cloudy, she is normally the embodiment of friendliness. From across the room, Larry looked at Avatar and smiled. Zoltan had joined the ALSB. ------------------ Sapphire Dragoness of ALSB Waitress at Cloudy's Cafe Guardian of the Temple of Aerie (specialized in GenCon and BG) Magess of Lady Lioness' Court Saint of the SoS Historian of IW Most Illustrious Arch-Magess of the Illuminati Lux omnis est Once Upon A Paper Writer's Forum

10-21-2001, 05:29 PM	#6
Avatar Vampire Join Date: April 28, 2001 Location: Cambridge Age: 40 Posts: 3,877	I can help you with Physics Kaz! This is very good except I wear chainmail rather than robes Other than that don't forget: Zoltan, YOU Wavy and Elif! Also how come your english is sooo good? Can I take part in the writing? just a TINY bit?

10-21-2001, 07:11 PM	#8
Larry_OHF Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Midlands, South Carolina Age: 48 Posts: 14,759	You have my blessings to continue, my friend. I really like how you came up with a good opener chapter to place things where we really did not have them. It makes the story that much more complete. I cannot wait to see you lay the latter chapters down! ------------------ 3rd Member of the Ancient OHF Diamond Ranger of the ALSB (secretarial position & Ambassador) Father of the wicked but cute child known as MaryBeth Padre de una niña bien traviosa pero guapa --------------------- Aisukuríimu ga tabetái desu.

10-21-2001, 07:40 PM	#9
Killing Spree Mephistopheles Join Date: July 11, 2001 Location: The Ashes Age: 35 Posts: 1,427	When do we get to the good part?! The drunks will not perk their ears to this! I would not mind whatsoever telling this from the KFA standpoint... So far it's Aerie-biased... I think that would only be fair, though Desuma may be more fitted to this leg of the story. Just call me when you want the Swords Of Time and The One Eyed Wolf typed up! ------------------ "A man who won't die for something is not fit to live."

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