10-30-2001, 07:02 PM | #1 |
Ninja Storm Shadow
Join Date: March 27, 2001
Location: Northport,Alabama, USA
Age: 62
Posts: 3,577
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* The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content. * I live in my own little world. But it's OK... they know me here. * I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, "Implants?" * I don't do drugs any more 'cause I find I get the same effect just standing up really fast. * Sign in Chinese pet store: "Buy one dog, get one flea" * Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. * I got a sweater for Christmas... I wanted a screamer or a moaner. * If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? * I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected. * The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value. * There are two sides to every divorce -- yours and Shithead's. * If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys. But if it deals you a truckload of hand grenades... now THAT'S a message!! * I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. * Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley. * I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect. * I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been giving me lately! * Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive. * Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted. * Isn't it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one busted condom. * If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway? * How come we choose from just two people to run for President and 50 for Miss America? * Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool? * Marriage changes passion... suddenly you're in bed with a relative. * Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked? * The next time you feel like complaining, remember: Your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world. * Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled. * Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!" * Many people will walk in & out of your life, but only true friends will leave a footprint on your heart. ------------------ Crustiest of the OLD COOTS Airline ticket to Afghanistan $800 High powered rifle with scope $1000 Hotel room with roof access $100 A clean Head shot on that sack of Horse Manure Usuma Bin Laden PRICELESS! |
10-30-2001, 08:38 PM | #2 | |
Jack Burton
Join Date: June 3, 2001
Location: Among the Stars
Age: 36
Posts: 5,837
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Quote:
------------------ Lil' Angel Sword Saint and Enchantress of the HADB Clan The Lady Lioness of Castle Kerhelm Waitress at Cloudy's Cafe, PB's Pub, and the Promised Land Official Restrainer of Table Dancers PeaceKeeping Force, Intelligence Division Emerald Dragoness of DOTW Incorrigible Redsox Fan Unsuspecting Victim of one of Jerome and Rikard's Plots |
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10-30-2001, 08:48 PM | #3 | |
Emerald Dragon
Join Date: October 1, 2001
Location: Somewhere
Age: 36
Posts: 934
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Quote:
------------------ " If you are guided by the stars, you will only be able to travel by night. If you are guided by a map, you will be dependant on a piece of paper that is easily lost. If you are guided by your soul, you will always choose the right path." |
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10-31-2001, 07:42 AM | #4 |
Jack Burton
Join Date: March 21, 2001
Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney
Age: 41
Posts: 5,556
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nice one
------------------ Revived I Am to hunt this world... Banish ye evil or face my wrath... |
10-31-2001, 07:45 AM | #5 | |
Jack Burton
Join Date: March 21, 2001
Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney
Age: 41
Posts: 5,556
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Quote:
------------------ Revived I Am to hunt this world... Banish ye evil or face my wrath... |
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