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Old 05-06-2001, 12:33 PM   #1
Mouse
Ironworks Moderator
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Scotland
Posts: 2,788
For you education, elucidation and comment, I offer the following.....

1. The difference between love and lust.

2. How to change a tire, a diaper, and a woman's mind.

3. When to hold on and when to let go.

4. Your capacity for intimacy and alcohol.

5. Basic carpentry, plumbing and automotive repair.

6. Advanced foreplay.

7. At least one woman other than their mother whose love for them is
substantial and enduring.

8. Trouble when he sees it.

9. True love when he feels it.

10. A load of bull when he hears it.

11. The symptoms of PMS and how to deal with them.

12. His strengths and weaknesses.

13. How to fast-talk and slow-dance.

14. The art of seduction.

15. That his wife (lover, girlfriend) is not his mother.

16. A woman's erogenous zones.

17. How to negotiate the inevitable compromises of a romantic relationship
in ways that keep both sides as happy as possible.

18. What he wants out of life and how to go after it.

19. Which medical tests he needs and when to get them.

20. How to make money, dinner, conversation and love.

21. His own needs and another person's ability to fulfill them.

22. How to start a fire-in the hearth and the heart.

23. A realistic plan to secure his retirement.

24. An idealistic plan to secure his grandchildren's future.

25. How to unhook a bra with one hand-in the dark.

26. Where to get breakfast/gas/a prescription filled at 2 am.

27. How to give a toast and take a compliment.

28. How to be gracious in victory and defeat.

29. When to talk and when to listen.

30. At least one true friend who will be there whenever he calls.

31. The fundamental workings of the female psyche.

32. The Ten Commandments.

33. The importance of trying to follow them.

34. His way around a kitchen.

35. The futility of unrequited love.

36. The ecstasy of unconditional love.

37. How to open a bottle of champagne.

38. How to negotiate.

39. How to close a deal.

40. The magic of a woman

Bugger it - back to school for me then..............

------------------
Regards



Mouse
Mouse is offline  
Old 05-06-2001, 12:35 PM   #2
RudeDawg
20th Level Warrior
 

Join Date: April 9, 2001
Location: Dallas, Tx, USA
Age: 54
Posts: 2,830
I've only got 8 years left...

well, I am well on my towards some of them...

needs LOTS of work on others...

------------------

The RudeDawg
Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil
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Old 05-06-2001, 01:08 PM   #3
John D Harris
Ninja Storm Shadow
 

Join Date: March 27, 2001
Location: Northport,Alabama, USA
Age: 62
Posts: 3,577
#25 should be with out hands!!
I didn't say that it must have been my evil twin!
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Old 05-06-2001, 01:12 PM   #4
RudeDawg
20th Level Warrior
 

Join Date: April 9, 2001
Location: Dallas, Tx, USA
Age: 54
Posts: 2,830
Quote:
Originally posted by John D Harris:
#25 should be with out hands!!
I didn't say that it must have been my evil twin!
AND without them knowing till AFTER the deed is done....


------------------

The RudeDawg
Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil
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Old 05-06-2001, 01:26 PM   #5
The Pope
Elite Waterdeep Guard
 

Join Date: May 6, 2001
Location: Belgium
Posts: 21
Quote:
Originally posted by RudeDawg:
AND without them knowing till AFTER the deed is done....
You sicko, you!

Actually, you don't need any hands at all. Just rip that thing off.
Same effect, and you save time.

------------------
GameBanshee, where I shall be a moderator, one day...

[This message has been edited by The Pope (edited 05-06-2001).]
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Old 05-06-2001, 01:35 PM   #6
RudeDawg
20th Level Warrior
 

Join Date: April 9, 2001
Location: Dallas, Tx, USA
Age: 54
Posts: 2,830
Quote:
Originally posted by The Pope:
You sicko, you!

Actually, you don't need any hands at all. Just rip that thing off.
Same effect, and you save time.

NO, NO! Bad Pope !
You lose the romantic effect that way. My way, you can claim divine intervention and say it's a "greater force" bringing you together.

AW YEAH!



------------------

The RudeDawg
Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil
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Old 05-06-2001, 01:36 PM   #7
Cloudbringer
Ironworks Moderator
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Upstate NY USA
Posts: 19,737
*tiptoes in, looks around* Oh my! *giggle*! You are definitely entertaining today! LOL I could offer to help you learn a few things, there Mouse, but aren't you a married type rodent? LOL

Now RudeDawg *seductive little smile* is another kettle of fish altogether...I saw a 'single again' post someplace, didn't I? LOLOLOL *smiles as she sees RudeDawg looking for the exit* Teehee....

Cloudy, Fabulous Forty

------------------
Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan
Storm-Queen
StormCloud of the Black Knight
Heart Mind Soul Forever
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Old 05-06-2001, 01:40 PM   #8
Staralfur
Baaz Draconian
 

Join Date: April 8, 2001
Location: Nottingham, UK
Age: 44
Posts: 786
FEW... 19 years left.

If I'm 21 should I know 21 of them? Because I suspect I'm not even close to that. Can I count 1/2 points aswell?
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Old 05-06-2001, 01:42 PM   #9
RudeDawg
20th Level Warrior
 

Join Date: April 9, 2001
Location: Dallas, Tx, USA
Age: 54
Posts: 2,830
Quote:
Originally posted by Cloudbringer:
*tiptoes in, looks around*
Now RudeDawg *seductive little smile* is another kettle of fish altogether...I saw a 'single again' post someplace, didn't I? LOLOLOL *smiles as she sees RudeDawg looking for the exit* Teehee....

Cloudy, Fabulous Forty

I would NEVER run from the CloudyFlirt!

------------------

The RudeDawg
Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil


[This message has been edited by RudeDawg (edited 05-06-2001).]
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Old 05-06-2001, 01:44 PM   #10
Mouse
Ironworks Moderator
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Scotland
Posts: 2,788
Single rodent who endorses the idea of continuing education!!!

------------------
Regards



Mouse
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