Ever feel like this?

[Attalus]

Sorry to feel that you are feeling like that, Siggy. I have had horrible lows in my life and unbelievable highs. You know I am much older than you, so I can well remember feeling blue when I was a teenager, but I can tell you that your life is so full of potential at this point that you literally have no conception of it. If I could go back to myself at your age, paricularly in a low period, and relate some of the things that I have done and girls I have loved, particularly the one I ended up with, I am quite sure that my younger self would have laughed in my face. Stick with it, because there is only one constant in life, and that is change. Some changes are bound to be for the better, aren't they?

[LordKathen]

Great topic/question, and good replies.
Its pretty much all been said. Every one gets depressed now and then, but some people develope real clinical depression, which is not good of course. Keep your head up, focus on your goals, and..."Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming swimming swimming...."

[Felix The Assassin]

Have you accepted what it is that has you in the 'blues'? Do you understand it? Or is it, a hidden intruder of the self conscious? Once you can grasp it, then you can control it, then you can eliminate it. While you are tackling it, try something different.
Take up a new project, something that totally encompasses the mind and body. Something that is going to make you both mentally and physically challenged to accomplish.
Racquetball, tennis, or the like, where you must engage brain for shot placement, while moving all muscles to set and return.
Rock climbing, mountain biking, or river rafting. All of which take concentration, and muscle to accomplish.

[silencer]

Constant "bad" or "good" luck is an anomaly. It is a reaction, just like most things in life. There is no end-all, bottom-line, my life is screwed and I can't do anything about it.

Everybody identifies problems, and then dwell on how to fix them; this is human nature. Most come up with results, but are either to naive or lacking self-respect to trust in their own judgement. This is the main reason why I don't have a high view of counselling; it almost always involves explaining what we already know, but need a second voice to act on it. Chances are you have already solved your own problems, you just don't draw on your own answers.

You asked what the point in living was, yet you stated you want to live. Why? If it is fear, then you are afraid of losing something. What is it? You obviously have contentment somewhere. If it is simply consciousness, maybe now you will have a new meaning on life.

You said you never have excitement or change in life, yet you stated you often feel jealousy towards your friends. I hope you get it by now, because it's getting pretty redundant. You know, no matter how much you deny it, exactly what you are jealous of. Their happyness perchance? In fear of repeating what others have said, hang out with them more, do what they do. Try new things.

I hope the second answer wasn't something along the lines of being rich, that's insignificant and petty. Once you understand that a person does what they can, and focus more on what you do have instead of what you don't have, maybe you will have yet another meaning of life.

Hope that didn't sound cross, I'm dead tired and have a killer headache. Good luck/

silencer

[Arledrian]

Sigmar, the important thing to remember is that at some point, you always turn a corner and life improves, no matter how black things seem sometimes. It's crucial that you have an idea of what you want to do with yourself and where you want to be in five, ten, or fifteen years, and work towards that. If you do all you can to get to where you want to be, the rest is trivial, for now. Remember to focus, aim high, and try your best in everything you do. Couple that with as much fun as you can squeeze in, and you've discovered the key to living. Happiness comes with achievement, and with having the freedom and choices to do what you like best. Doing this will also allow you to reach the sort of status that your friend has. Believe me, I had exactly the same problem growing up - my best friend was a total snob. I liked the guy but I had problems with his being rich, for a lot of the same reaons you mentioned. I think you might be happier hanging out with other people, for now.

In short, there is no real answer to help you solve this problem, just be confident in the knowledge that things will change. That's the cool thing with life, its only certainty is that nothing stays the same forever. Things will radically improve once you're done with school. You basically stagnate in your last couple years of high school, which is a problem nearly every intelligent teenager goes through. Soon though, you'll leave it all behind you, and you'll grow. You'll meet people on your level, develop your social and real-world skills, and all the crap that's going on now will be a distant memory.

Hang in there and work hard in life. It all gets better, believe me on that. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Aerich]

Sigmar, much as it might seem strange or rude, you've got to do something away from your current circle of friends, especially the rich one. As it is, you seem to be constantly assessing yourself and your self-worth against someone who has a material advantage. It's called "keeping up with the Joneses", where people compete against each other and value themselves by the amount of stuff they can collect. It's a nasty trap. You MUST do something alone that you can focus on and be proud of doing, alone.

To digress a little, are you in fact being portrayed as tight or stingy because you can't keep up to your friend's spending habits? Or is it just your perception of it? Most people should realize that throwing money around like trash isn't a normal state of being. If the people you hang out with can't get that, the advice to spend some time away from them goes double. With reference to girls, while many of them unfortunately go for the money, quite a few value qualities beyond the ability to pay. One of the problems your buddy will have to face is whether the girls he gets love him for himself, or for the things he can buy them.

You've also said that he's the one people want to talk to first. Ask yourself if that's the bling or if it's something else. Likely it's a mixture. You've said already that you don't have much self-esteem (not a criticism, btw, just a fact). Self-esteem = confidence. Confidence, body language, good moods, and outgoingness = charisma.

The best advice I can give is what's worked for me. Take up a martial art. Seriously. Any type - karate, judo, aikido, kung fu. Check out the clubs in your area. A good one will focus on mental strength and personal accomplishment (in a Zen sort of way; difficult to explain) as well as physical skills.

That all leads to self-confidence. There's nothing like walking down the street and knowing you could take down 90% of the people sharing it with you without breaking a sweat. It also gets respect from your peers; there's a mystique about the martial arts for people who aren't familiar with them. It will immediately distinguish you from your friend. It will also get you more attention, the majority of it good. You might have to field some challenges from idiots, but hold back unless it escalates to imminent physical violence. This in turn will get you more respect as a strong and controlled individual.

With confidence, your prospects will rise. The bad moods and negative outlook will start to go away, as will the ascerbity, leaving you with confidence and wit. And take a poll among the ladies on the forum, and ask them if they would seriously take a man with bling over a man with confidence, wit, and the ability to physically protect himself and others - you might be surprised at the answer.

You remind me a lot of myself. Not that I'm all that much older than you, but I was quite similarly moody and unenthused about life at your age. You're definitely not alone in your feelings or experience. The question is whether you will challenge yourself and rise above the depression and circumstances you are in, or whether you will spend your life feeling unhappy and dissatisfied.

[silencer]

Originally posted by Sigmar: I do what they do, I am in their classes, I am in the same rowing squad, I hang out with the same people. We go out together, we meet people together. For me though it feels like I'm running through a routine, while its obvious that they're essetially loving every minute of it. Like they "magically" ignoring the negative aspects in life, while it's all I see!

It really sounds like you're not doing much you could classify as "exciting." You might want to try some thrilling sports: snowboarding, skiing, mountain climbing, jetskiing, surfing, parachuting, etc. Most of these are "thrilling" just because they're simply fun, and the improbable fact that your life is in your hands [img]smile.gif[/img] I snowboard often, and nothing clears my head and lets me forget about past troubles more than going 30+ mph down a slope, or being on the edge of a steep drop (granted it might take a while to get good at these sports). Just simple fun things such as these lets me look forward in life a long ways.

You might consider taking a week off and doing one of these things. If you can't exactly afford them, you can always try to go with friends, or just do what I did and save up money in advance.

Originally posted by Sigmar: The last thing I want to do is come off as sounding brash, or confrontational. I'm just trying to get my opinion across. I don't recall saying that I WANT to live, if I did I didn't mean to contradict myself there sorry. I feel like I'm obligated to live, so that my family and friends don't have to endure any heart-ache. Thats why I wish I had never existed, there's a difference imo.

Sorry - I thought I read that above, I only skimmed through most replies. I'm curious though, whether you would be saddened if you lost one of your family/friends?

Originally posted by Sigmar: It's just that since we're always together, being best friends, it's obvious who is the one that grabs the most attention. The one who wears new clothes everyday, the one with the top of the range bike, the one with the new watch and mobilephone, the one with the bling, the one with the I-pod, the one with the freakin' boat. Who do you think the girl's we meet wanna talk to first?

It really sounds like you're obfuscating the truth, or live in a really bleak place. I can tell you for a fact that most chicks (yes, even the hot ones ) really don't care about money, as long as you aren't overly poor (you already stated you weren't). My guess is that you might be being overly-negative, too shy, or simply just "going along" and not drawing much attention to yourself. One of the biggest rules is to simply act yourself within presence of women, within limits ofc.

Cheers,
silencer

[ 09-18-2004, 06:33 PM: Message edited by: silencer ]

[Stormymystic]

yeah, I feel like that alot

[Jorath Calar]

I used to feel that way a way back, but I know this is going to sound corny and dumb, but I saw a movie that changed my perspective of live... you'd never guess it, but it was "Along came Polly" with Ben Stiller. It's farly average movie, but one of the characters makes a speech in it that made me think.

Basicly we are always waiting for good things to happen, there is always something supposed to be around the corner that is going to make us happy, so instead of appreciating what we already have and is around us we spend our days waiting for the future instead of savouiring (sp?) the moment.

Since then I've changed my views, stopped longing for the future, just let it come and I've found my most of my worries have disapeared, I feel much more free, and just enjoy life more. I used to hate the town I live in but now I don't think I'd want to live anywere else... (except maybe Scotland [img]smile.gif[/img] ).

Don't know if it makes much sense, but just thought I'd share my point... [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Gxc]

Yeah, ive felt like that before but i dont feel like that alot really.