Cloudy's Corner, TEEHEE!

[Cloudbringer]

Just for a bit of fun. I'm tired, it's a tough week and I need a few light laughs! Anyone have anything to add, go ahead! Oh and no offense to anyone of any color hair! LOL

Melusine- you said you liked blonde jokes, so I'm giving you a few...oh and we throw in a brunette, just because I'm a believer in fair play! LOL

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
...she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
...she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
...she thought a quarterback was a refund.
...she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
...she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
...she thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools.
...she thought General Motors was in the army.
...she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
...she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
...under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
...she tripped over a cordless phone.
...she spent 20 minutes looking at the orangejuice can because it said
"concentrate."
...she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
...at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put
"Sagittarius."
...she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
...she studied for a blood test.
...she thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train."
...she sold the car for gas money!
...when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
...when she went to the airport and saw a sign
that said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
...when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
...she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
...if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
...she thought that she could not use her AM radio
in the evening.
...she had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she
thought stood for "This Goes In Front."


*****************
A blonde, a redhead and a brunette escape a burning building by climbing to
the roof. Firemen are on the street below holding a blanket for them to
jump into. The firemen yell to the blonde, "Jump! Jump! It's your only
chance to survive!" The blonde jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the
blanket away...the blonde slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.

"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!" say the firemen to the redhead.

"Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the redhead.

"No! It's blondes we can't stand! We're okay with redheads!"

"Okay," says the redhead and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket
away and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.

Finally, the brunette steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen
yell "Jump! You have to jump!"

"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the brunette.

"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"

"Look," the brunette says, "nothing you say is gonna convince me that
you're not going to pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put
the blanket down and back away from it..."



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Storm-Queen
Purple Rose of the Black Knight

[Draconia]

LMAO Those are great.

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Draconia, Dragon Queen

[Cloudbringer]

Glad you like them Draconia! TEEHEE!

Cloudy

[The.Relic]

He he he... Those are very good
Smitten by

Another blonde joke (sorry if this you've this before, or if its posted in another thread, I've been away for a few days so I'm alittle out of touch - family funeral to attend) ~(not all the family was being buried )

A man is sitting at a bar, and he's quite drunk, and his vision is blurred. He notices someone has come and stood next to him, so he says:

"Do you want to hear a blonde joke?"

The figure, who has been joined by another two people, replies:

"Well I'm a female wrestler, 18 stone and I'm blonde, my friend here has a Black belt in Judo andn she's blonde and my other colleague is a weght lifter and she's also blonde, do you still want to tell the joke?"

the man replies:

"well no, not if I'm going to have to explain it 3 times."

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'Cloudbringer for Spamturny General' - BK
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A blonde is sitting on a plane, and the seat next to her is occupied by a computer expert. Knowing that blondes are thick, the computer expert decides he can make some money out of her, so devises a little game. The rules they agree are as follows. Each must ask the other questions, and if they can't answer, they must pay a forfeit, the blonde pays $5 everytime she fails, the expert $1000 - this is to even the contest (besides the expert doesn't expect to have pay up). The expert asks the blonde, what is the capital of Peru, shes doesn't know so she gives him $5. The blonde then asks the expert what is red,green and has 10 limbs. The expert pulls out his phone rings his colleagues, does an internet search, but still can't find out the answer, so as obliged he gives the blonde $1000. Exasperated he asks here what was it then.... she gives him $5.

And you thought blondes were dumb!

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'Cloudbringer for Spamturny General' - BK
-Powered by Tainly Corp

Your ad here? Call 112 -221 -123

[bilqis]

Those are a hoot! I have a friend who collects blonde jokes (she's a brilliant, beautiful, tall, slender, natural blonde) and I sent them to her. Fun!

Here in the north woods of Minnesota, we always tell Ole & Lena Jokes. Or Ole & Sven jokes. Most of the heritage here is Norwegian, Swede, Finnish & German, and we have a strong 'brogue' or accent here, more so than southern MN ... so these jokes go over big. No offense to the native people of any of those countries... but if we can't make fun of ourselves, well, that's a sad thing.
(I hope Cloudy's Corner isn't restricted to blonde jokes... tell me if so and I'll delete it. )
Anyway!!

MINNASODA NORVEGEN VIRUS

VARNING!!
Ve haf just sent you da "MINNASODA NORVEGIAN VIRUS." Since ve do not haf any
programming experience and do not know how to actually damage your
computer, dis virus is on the honor system. Please forward dis Virus to
eferyone on your mailing list and den manually delete all of da files on
your hard drive.

Tank you for your cooperation.
Sven and Ole


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Take risks: If you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise. (new member of TLH)

I got my jokes from a blonde, who always sends herslf up (she's one of the cleverest people I know, but when there's a chance of screwing up she acts "blonde" and she get out of anything difficult.

I heard you joke before, but here in the UK it was the Irish virus.

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'Cloudbringer for Spamturny General' - BK
-Powered by Tainly Corp

Your ad here? Call 112 -221 -123

[Charean]

I thought I would add this humble entry... Love the jokes btw!!!


CAT DIARY

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue. (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.



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Defender for the Light -
Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?
Wandering Joke of the Laughing Hyenas
Laughter can be a Mighty Weapon - when wielded with pizazz and accuracy! What Ho!!

[KDogRex]

Charean, that's great!!!!!
It reminds me of Stewie, from "The Family Guy" on FOX!!

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-Resident Corset Loosener and Bard of the OHF