The "HIGH SCHOOL" Syndrome

[RudeDawg]

(With apologies to anyone still in high-school.)

Remember the hell we call "High-School"? While there were many great things about it, there was also a dark side. The part that divided, and burned. It tore apart friendships and relationships. Hurt good people, and elevated others who should not have been. It gave power to the weak of mind, and often destroyed those we should have protected.

It was The Syndrome. The "I like you, he hates her, she's pretty, he's ugly, he's a dork, I'm popular, you're a nerd, we're cool, you don't belong" Syndrome.

My senior year of High School, 1984, the valedictorian was brilliant. Full Honors in Mathematics, Sciences, and all the Humanities. A brilliant speaker, and wonderful man. I respected him.

He went to the prom alone. He was a geek. Hell, I didn't even go.

DON'T misunderstand me. I had friends, some who were VERY close. I had girlfriends. I could have fit in, if I had chosen. I was unwilling to choose one group over another.

As an adult, I hoped we would be past this. Especially here. On-line. Here, you should judge me for what I say, what I think; not how I look. Or who I talk to, or who talks to me.

It's a popularity contest. Not everyone can be popular. I'm not, nor do I want to be. I didn't like the popular kids in High School, I rarely like them now.

But, we can't judge each other by the amount, or lack of, popularity. In my on-line homes, I see factions choosing sides, and walls being built. It's hurting the community.

Grow up, people. Responsibility, maturity, and accountability are not necessary to be on the 'Net. They should be.

If you judge me for who I am, I will agree with you. If you judge me for who I choose to spend time with, I feel sorry for you.

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The RudeDawg, known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
"Let them come, Let them ALL come."
-"Ender says, 'The enemy is down.' "

[Fljotsdale]

YAY! You've done it again! I won't post my whinge into it this time, though!

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I was not popular with the "popular" crowd in H.S for the simple reason being that on my first day in a new school in 7th grade, I talked to a couple of girls who had attended the school I had gone to...sisters, one of whom had such a bad crush on my brother that their second grade class pic shows her trying to hold his hand.
In my innocent teasing that I was his sister, my fate was sealed as one of the "unpopular" much to the relief of cheerleaders who had been intimidated by the concept of having competition when I first walked in the room.
They (the cheerleaders) told me this personally in our first study hall that very day. I didn't care, I should be allowed to talk to whomever I please and vice versa.
Even though I was never invited to their parties or asked to be a part of their clique, I still made friends with most of them as individuals...friendships that last to this day.
I was welcome amongst the stoners, the geeks, and the low-lifes...I had "private" friendships with some cheerleaders as well as jocks. Everyone knew I was my own person then and judged no one on anything more than how they treated me personally. I am the same way today, having friends whose careers range from electronic engineers (one being the guy who "fixed" the patriot missle during Desert Storm), right down to the town drunk.

Accept me for who I am and you will find a worthy friend...don't accept me because I am not what you want me to be and you miss out.

I am going back to college this fall. Going to get a degree to become an Elementary school teacher. At nearly forty years old, I am sure I will be one of the most popular people there.


Moni

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[This message has been edited by Moni (edited 07-02-2001).]

[Wulfere]

Damn Rude Dawg... you are one deep dude.
Couldn't agree with you more on this.
Hi Fljotsdale!
Figured you needed the daisy after the ordeal with the slugs.
Moni...you have alot of work ahead for ya. My friend in Omaha is a teacher at Skinner Magnet School. He loves to teach, but hates the politics. He teaches the kids none of the other teachers want. He is one heck of a guy.
I wish you the best of luck.
I won't bore you witht he story of my high school days. I was the outsider and as moni did made friends with alot of folks. If you aren't happy with who you are then you aren't happy.

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The line between good and evil is a razor sharp thing. Be careful of misteps,
as you may find yourself spitted upon your own blade.

[DawnChaser]

Well written, RudeDawg!!! I agree.

"In the words of the baby on 'Dinosaurs', 'Gotta Love Me!!!!'"

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[Cloudbringer]

Once more into the breach! I see you reposted this, RudeDawggie !

Well, once again... I treat people as I wish to be treated, with dignity, compassion and respect. I really enjoy talking to people and popularity is not an issue.

One thing, though, I'd like to say that it goes both ways... so don't shun someone who is well known or well-liked either. Tis a rude and uncivil thing to any person to be ignored or despised for the company they keep or do not keep. It becomes so easy to point to a popular person and start the gossip train running...trust me, they are human too!

Again, I think it comes down to common sense, really. And common courtesy. Nobody says we will all be best buddies! LOL We are a diverse group and out there are many more sub groups we all belong to. But whenever we deal with one another online, we need to remember that courtesy is never in vain. And kindness is repaid in many ways.

Cloudy, waxing philisophical and glad IW is back

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Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan
Storm-Queen
StormCloud of the Black Knight: Heart Mind Soul Forever
"To sleep, perchance to dream..."

[sylent]

This sure is a hot issue...
Bullying in schools, singling out kids who aren't "cool", or don't make the cut socially. It's all pretty nasty stuff which can leave many people shattered, and sometimes scarred for life.
Most of the people who are popular are only there because they are "tough", or are rich or good-looking. Its the way it works, and it is cruel.
I am fortunate enough to go to a good community school where there is very little bullying at all. It is always going to exist, but it is not nearly as bad as in some schools.
I guess I am seperated from the social standards a bit... lucky me.

Personally, I don't judge anyone upon what they look like on-line (it is pretty hard to), I am more concerned with what people say. I would like to say this is true of RL, but I don't think it is all of the time unfortunately.

Well thats my two sense (or was it cents?)

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"Watch your back"

[sylent]

Nothing worse than a snob... someone who is by all means too sophisticated or intellectually superior to mingle with pathetic underlings.
Both ends of the scale must be looked at. An interesting point which cloudy brought up, which is that the "popular" people are also human, and that while they may maintain or resonate confidence, they also have feelings, and undue resentment toward them is (while perhaps satisfying) not a good thing either.

(This is in no way a personal attack or anything ok?)

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"Watch your back"

[This message has been edited by sylent (edited 07-03-2001).]

[Fljotsdale]

Originally posted by sylent: Nothing worse than a snob... someone who is by all means too sophisticated or intellectually superior to mingle with pathetic underlings. Both ends of the scale must be looked at. An interesting point which cloudy brought up, which is that the "popular" people are also human, and that while they may maintain or resonate confidence, they also have feelings, and undue resentment toward them is (while perhaps satisfying) not a good thing either. (This is in no way a personal attack or anything ok?)

Sylent, I wasn't going to repost my original comments, but what you said made me change my mind! Children often perceive SHYNESS as SNOBISHNESS. I was exceedingly and painfully shy. I was also very bright. Consequently, other kids saw me as viewing myself as being 'too good' to mix with them. Which was FAR from the cas! I desperately wanted to make friends but just didn't know how to do it. Shy people respond with monosyllables. They stop conversation with 'yes' or 'no' answers, NOT because they feel superior, but because they feel INFERIOR! They just don't know HOW to relate to others. I was bullied all through my school life because of this curse of shyness. PLEASE - I know it is hard work, but TRY to make friends with people, other kids if you are still at school, who are always on the edge of things or even totally outside as I was. They will be glad of your efforts, even if it takes a long time for you to draw them out.

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You know, Fljotsdale, I am pretty shy myself and a lot of people have considered me to be a snob because of it.
I don't let it hurt me though because if these people aren't going to take the time or make the effort to get to know me, then it is their loss. Some people would rather just consider you a snob and write you off than to make the effort and find out they were wrong.
Shy people have to reach out to others if they are going to break that stereotype though...as hard as it is, once the ice is broken, making friends with people becomes easier. It is just that breaking of the ice stage that I can't get past sometimes even now.


Moni

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