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Old 07-17-2004, 10:34 AM   #1
Arvon
Unicorn
 

Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
The 10 Commandments of Marriage

Commandment 1.

Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4.

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:

Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;

The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.

After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8.

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.

But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9.

Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry.

That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste.

Commandment 10.

A man is incomplete until he is married.

After that, he is finished..

Bonus Commandment story.

A long married couple came upon a wishing well.

The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The husband decided to make a wish too.

But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled,

"It really works!"
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Old 07-17-2004, 10:51 AM   #2
Bahamut
Iron Throne Cult
 

Join Date: March 12, 2001
Location: Manila, Philippines
Age: 33
Posts: 4,864
Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Those were great!
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Old 07-17-2004, 11:38 AM   #3
Harkoliar
Jack Burton
 

Join Date: March 21, 2001
Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney
Age: 35
Posts: 5,556
Quote:
Commandment 2.

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
love this one the best
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Old 07-17-2004, 11:41 AM   #4
Attalus
Symbol of Bane
 

Join Date: November 26, 2001
Location: Texas
Age: 70
Posts: 8,167
Yeah, I liked that one, too.
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Old 07-18-2004, 01:17 AM   #5
Lord
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
 

Join Date: June 3, 2003
Location: New York
Age: 33
Posts: 3,302
Commandment 5 was the best
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Old 07-18-2004, 09:47 PM   #6
Lauren
Baaz Draconian
 

Join Date: May 24, 2004
Location: Bundaberg, Queensland, Australia
Age: 29
Posts: 721
I like Commandment number 4:
"Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen."

I think that would be so true. But I have never experienced so I don't really know if it is true or not.
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Old 07-18-2004, 10:04 PM   #7
Dron_Cah
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
 
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Join Date: March 2, 2003
Location: Kentucky
Age: 32
Posts: 2,637
I enjoyed the 9th Commandment, myself.
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Old 07-19-2004, 07:03 AM   #8
Hivetyrant
Jack Burton
 

Join Date: August 24, 2002
Location: Brisbane
Age: 31
Posts: 5,401
Another great set of jokes Arvon.
Where on earth do you come up with these?
Or is it one of those "Great minds hold great secrets" things?
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