What you should have learned by middle age

Arvon · 05-13-2003, 02:07 PM

25 Things You Should Have Learned By The Time You Reach Middle Age

1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing
in a garage makes you a car.

4. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so
good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist
change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks
before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a
mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real
world.

25. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never
tried before.

T/-/alali · 05-13-2003, 05:04 PM

Wow, my parents need to read this, [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Rokenn · 05-13-2003, 05:08 PM

yup sounds about right. But when is middle-aged nowadays? Since I plan on living to atleast 120 I have 2 decades to go [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Vaskez · 05-13-2003, 05:45 PM

LOL nice one!

khazadman · 05-14-2003, 02:34 AM

Hell, I learned all those by the time I was twenty. Except for # 17 that is. That one I learned about the hard way.

05-13-2003, 02:07 PM	#1
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	25 Things You Should Have Learned By The Time You Reach Middle Age 1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often. 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 4. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat. 5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. 7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. 8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. 9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. 10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques. 12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good. 13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. 14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. 15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes. 16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. 17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. 18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. 19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it. 20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. 21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. 22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. 23. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator. 24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. 25. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. __________________ 53.7% of all statistics are made up

05-13-2003, 05:04 PM	#2
T/-/alali Baaz Draconian Join Date: September 8, 2002 Location: Cornelius,NC Age: 36 Posts: 700	Wow, my parents need to read this, [img]tongue.gif[/img] __________________ I am the Ferret king, master of the hordes, allied to Someguy\'s mighty pinguins, we will soon rule the world!

05-13-2003, 05:08 PM	#3
Rokenn Galvatron Join Date: January 22, 2002 Location: california wine country Age: 60 Posts: 2,193	yup sounds about right. But when is middle-aged nowadays? Since I plan on living to atleast 120 I have 2 decades to go [img]tongue.gif[/img] __________________ “This is an impressive crowd, the haves and the have mores. <br />Some people call you the elite. <br />I call you my base.”<br />~ George W. Bush (2000)

05-13-2003, 05:45 PM	#4
Vaskez Takhisis Follower Join Date: April 30, 2001 Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now) Posts: 5,089	LOL nice one! __________________ Too set in his ways to ever relate If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray

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05-14-2003, 02:34 AM	#5
khazadman User suspended until [Feb13] Join Date: December 6, 2001 Location: the south side of ol virginny Age: 62 Posts: 1,172	Hell, I learned all those by the time I was twenty. Except for # 17 that is. That one I learned about the hard way.

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