Hey read this for me.

[Redblueflare]

If you don't mind would someone read this thing for me? I have more than this. [img]tongue.gif[/img] But didn't want to post it all at once.
Just tell me what you think afterwards please?

“He’s a little late.” My best friend Natalie Tori muttered.
“Have a little patience Natalie.” My other best friend Krystal Daniel Kenton replied. “We haven’t been here in awhile, try to enjoy yourself.”
At that moment I was looking about, trying to ease my excitement a little.

All three of us were at a beach, standing under the lone palm tree that had grown somewhat in the center. Even under the shade, the sand was hot against my bare feet. The sun was shining brightly in a blue sky littered with clouds. I could see seagulls flying in our direction, and could hear their call very faintly. A gentle breeze was blowing. It rustled the palm leaves, as well as my silver hair slightly. Right in front of me dolphins played in an emerald ocean. The water was crystal clear. To the right of me of me a hill grew into a high rocky cliff that loomed over the sand. To the left of me the beach went on and on. It went around the entire continent. Behind me a grass meadow stretched on as far as the eye could see. It was dotted with flowers of all colors, and seemed to sway with the wind. I closed my eyes and listened to the waves crashing gently unto the sand. I inhaled deeply, tasting and smelling the salt air at the same time. There were only a couple of places that could get me to relax like this. This beach is place where all of us come when we return home. So we started calling it Homeward Beach.

I haven’t told you my name yet have I? I’m Tiffany Katherine McCoy, but everyone calls me Tk. My friends and I had come to greet my twin brother Alan. It had been over a month since I’d last seen him and I could barely contain my excitement. This was the way I always was when one of us left or came back.
The four of us Alan, Krystal, Natalie, and I have been best friends since we were born. We all have a somewhat peculiar hobby. When things get dull in our world we travel to another one. Did you ever think that there could be another world completely different from your own? No? Well this might cause you to raise an eyebrow or two, there are, and lots of them. A special magic mirror allows us to travel to any world we’ve been before with a single thought. Of course if you’re not thinking of any particular place when you look into it, then you’re thrust into a random one which will probably be quite different from your own. Anyway all four of us have been on hundreds of adventures. Thanks to that, we know a lot about things we wouldn’t know about otherwise, technology is an example. (I understand that sort of thing a lot better than any of the others does)
Since we only have two mirrors not everyone can go adventuring at the same time by themselves. I’m the only one who can travel between the dimensions without one, and I can take or send anyone I wish. I’m not trying to sound big headed mind you. I’m sure the others could learn if they tried.

I suppose I should tell you a little bit about my friends before Alan gets back. Before I begin I need to tell you this. All of us are Icarians. (Or half Icarian in Natalie’s case) Never heard of us have you? Well to be honest we look a lot like humans except for one special exception. We have wings; wings that look exactly like those on angels. Unlike the other races Icarians never grow old. As long as we don’t get ourselves killed we will live forever. We also learn extremely quickly and have a natural affinity for magic. However, we can fly without our wings. Sometimes though our wings make the other races a little nervous. So at times we just make them disappear at will. They will simply vanish into thin air until we call on them again. There are a few things we can’t do as well without them. Flying is one of these things.

Natalie is half Mystic. Mystics are a cat like race in our world. All Mystics have long furry ears (Since Natalie is only half-mystic her ears are long like an elf’s but not furry) and a tail that can be (but almost never is) used like a third hand. All mystics have an excellent sense of hearing and smell. They can also jump to incredible height. Like we Icarians, the Mystics never grow old either, and have a knack for magic. They can also fly with lots of practice. They prefer to live in the forest. Most don’t like the cities very much. That’s a little strange as the race doesn’t keep to themselves. They mingle with all the other goodly races.

[johnny]

that's it, no more grass for you !!!!

[Legolas]

I like it [img]smile.gif[/img]
If you want to do something serious with it, you may want to try and find a natural way to lose the brackets, but otherwise I think it's great [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]
Can't wait to see how you handle action scenes and extended conversation, but your explanations and descriptions are really good.

[Marcell]

You could make a pretty good book out of this imo, keep me informed on this one, i like it =)

marcell@nycny.net

[Redblueflare]

Thanks everyone! [img]smile.gif[/img] Well about the brackets, i'll end up getting rid of them when I find a way to do so yet.(Besides taking them out anyway) If you hadn't noticed I don't just do it when i'm writing. Legolas if you have any ideas i'm listening. [img]tongue.gif[/img] Here's another page if you're interested. (Another page in word anyway) ARGHH!!! Did it again!

Krystal is a little unique considering that she is a princess. First of all she hates being referred to as princess and doesn’t think she’s any different than the rest of us. She also has a gentle aura about her that makes you relax and want to be friends with her. She’s very outspoken too. The only time she doesn’t speak her mind is when it’s something that would hurt someone’s feelings. She’s a very kind person always putting the feelings and desires of others ahead of her own and yes even those she isn’t fond of. Krystal is the peacekeeper in our group. She’s always the first one to break up any fighting and the person that we all go to for advice.
Krystal is very pretty. She has long blonde hair that cascades down her back She has green eyes that glitter like emeralds. Her eyes burn with an inner fire, and can make anyone squirm under their piercing gaze. I’m taking a guess here, but I suppose Krystal stands about 5’10 or so.

Natalie is a bit of a wildfire. She’s very blunt and sarcastic, saying what she wants when she wants to say it. Sometimes it’s difficult for us her best friends to know if she’s being serious or joking. She can be impatient at times and is somewhat mischievous, but only towards Alan. She enjoys tickling, making fun, and just annoying him a little too much. Alan knows that she’s joking but she can go too far. She simply hates how Alan constantly walks away from fights, and insists that he needs to stick up from himself. Most of the time she takes it upon herself to beat down those who harass him for no particular reason, even if Alan asks her to let it be. She is reckless and rarely ever thinks before jumping into a fight What’s funny is when she’s supposed to be, Natalie is the perfect lady, always calm and polite.
You might find this a little hard to believe, but Alan and Natalie are well… dating. Although Natalie can get on Alan’s nerves, (more often than not actually) the two of them have been together for two years now. Natalie’s the only one who would readily admit that to anyone. Trust me, she’d tell you in a heartbeat if you asked about it. Alan on the other hand is a lot more shy, he’s always been like that. I don’t see how he puts up with Natalie’s teasing and over protectiveness. He handles all that pretty well though; I guess he is the only one that understands Natalie all the time. The two of them are very much in love it seems.

All right, here is someone I understand a little better, my brother Alan. Alan is the sort of person who can’t sit in one place too long. He always has to be doing something. When things get dull he will find something else to do.
Lots of people have a hard time appreciating his skill, and are constantly challenging him to sword fights. Alan considers duels meaningless and walks away, much to his challenger’s anger and disappointment. Now if someone were in trouble it would be a different story. Alan would be right there to help regardless of how dangerous the situation was. He’s a man of his word, if he has made a promise he must keep it no matter what. He is a little naïve and too trusting for his own good.
You’d think with that sixth sense of his he’d be a little bit more careful. Alan can feel danger and where it is. If there is a trap or ambush up ahead he’ll feel it. If there is trouble approaching while we’re asleep he’ll simply wake up and warn everyone. His sense isn’t perfect however. If someone sneaks up on us and Alan hasn’t met them before, he’ll know that someone’s coming, but can’t tell whom that someone is. He also can’t tell what that person is up to.
Alan has short black hair; he is a little over 5’9. He’s the shortest one of us. His eyes are very unique. They glow, and brightly enough to be seen in broad daylight. The color of his eyes shift depending on his emotions. When Alan is angry they will be red, when he’s sad they will be blue and so on. Only a few people understand that color code. He inherited those eyes from our mother and no one is completely sure why they glow that way. As you’d expect his eyes have gotten him more than a few stares.

Well I suppose that leaves me. I’ve always thought it was my job as the five-minute-older twin to make sure Alan stays out of trouble. I’m a lot more patient than Alan is. I don’t go seeking adventure on the first boring day. I don’t lose my temper very often either. It takes a lot to make me angry. I’m usually the one that comes up with ideas when we’re in a tough situation. Unlike Alan I like to have a plan before I start doing something. I’ve already told you I have a knack for machines. Everyone insists that I’m an excellent cook too and that I’m too modest. I really don’t know what else to say.
I have long silver hair, (Long hair is common around the Icarians) and large hazel eyes. Like the other girls I’m around 5’10 too.