My Depression

"Daily i thank that slut for revealing her true colors" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Thank You........thank you all.
You can't imagine how much you guys/gals mean to me during this time. I found the courage today to ring up her doorstep and she was hesistant to let me in. However I felt that speaking through the phone wasn't going to help so I needed to hear it from her personally.
I DID resort to drinking that night (or should I say Dawn?) and my brother found me dozing off on the keyboard at 11AM. I need to buy a new keyboard too because I spill most of the booze all over keys. I'm typing now with my friend's keyboard, and hopefully he won't find out why. We talked and she said that it was over because things weren't working out right? WHAT WASN'T WORKING OUT RIGHT??!! I DON'T UNDERSTAND?! We didn't speak for long and I think our relationship is definately over - We can't even stay as friends, that's how bad it ended up
I don't know where this is going to take me, but I'm single again - that's for sure. If she told me why she didn't want me then that's okay, but you can't just snatch yourself away from our relationship and say........(sorry about the use of this)...........■■■■ OFF!!

I'm suspecting she's cheating on me with one of my mates. And I'm going to keep an eye out for whoever she hangs around with. I called her friends but they wouldn't speak to me either (maybe she bribed or threatened them not to) even though I knew some of them since Primary School

You people are all I have left, if you want to know then you guys/gals were the first to know about this - my mum doesn't know because she told me not to go out with her in the first place! And my father wouldn't give a shit even if I was gay so family gave me 0 points for reassurance.

I thank you all again, everybody for making my life so much happier. I'd wished I known you all earlier because you count for my belief, that there are actually nice people in this world.

Thank You so Much

Yours
Wah

[Cloudbringer]

Wah: Hey, buddy. You've impressed me as a quick-witted, fun-loving person . I know we haven't talked much to date and I'm not sure if you want company in misery or happy-it'll-pass stories, but I have both for you if you like. Like so many others here, I can say I was dumped at about your age. I was a sophomore in college. In love with being in love, as they say. My boyfriend and I were secretly engaged and at the time I thought it was for all the reasons he gave me- let's not mess up our school year with all the planning, or get parents involved just yet...etc etc etc. Well, to make a long story shorter- One late spring day a group of us from a Russian class had a picnic at one of the student's homes out in the beautiful Vermont countryside. I had tried to talk David into coming for a week, but he insisted he had to study for our big Russian exam and reminded me how he was "not as smart" in that subject as I was. Knowing he had a problem with my doing better in classes, I believed him and wished him luck with the studying. Off I went to a wonderful picnic. Gorgeous day, clear blue sky, view of the river. I was so happy that day. As we got ready to take the long drive back to the city, I packed up a plate of food for David, figuring he'd be awfully hungry (he never cooked- lived out of boxes or what his sister fixed-they shared a condo). Well, I drove to his place that evening and knocked on the door, plate in hand, big smile on my face. David took forever to answer the bell and when he did I knew something wasn't right. He acted very nervous and blocked my view into the condo, not even asking me in! Me being me (grin) I pushed past him and into the living room. Well, well, well, if he didn't have April (another student in our class who didn't attend the party that day) sprawled on the floor in front of the sofa looking mighty uncomfortable. I suppose you can guess how I felt, Wah. Devestated, angry, hurt, totally miserable. David tried to explain that they were studying together...yah, I always study with my undergarments half-stuffed under the edge of a sofa, and my shirt buttoned wrong, sure...I believe THAT one, you s.o.b! I may have seemed quite calm to them, but I was far from it. I walked into the kitchen, dropped the plate of food on the counter, sat down and proceeded to make then exruciatingly uncomfortable with lots of small talk. "How was the studying? Having trouble with the perfective verbs, David? Gee April, I didn't know you needed a study partner, I run the in-house Russian program in the Living-Learning center, I could have helped you.....". And would you believe the two-timing piece of $%$# asked me to drive April HOME? Ack. We never talked about any of it in person (with the brief exception of my tossing the ring in his face after the exam), and the phone conversations we did have weren't enough for me. I went to his graduation ceremony (he was two yrs ahead of me) in hopes of talking before he moved away. I spotted him in the crowd and left my two friends (moral support!) behind as I wove my way to where he stood. Just as I reached him and said congratulations, his parents dragged him over to April and didn't even acknowledge my existence! (turns out he never mentioned me, his mom was a NJ socialite, Dad a doctor, I think- April was a well-to-do Swiss-finishing school graduate and much more 'suitable' for his family) I stood there until my friends caught up to me. I don't remember getting back to the dorm, Wah. I vaguely remember getting totally wasted and roaming the campus at night looking for a bus to step under. A friend (my best friend today!) followed me all over the place, trying to tell me it would get better, keeping me from drowning in the campus fountain and wandering into the bad part of town. I never heard directly from David again.

You know what, though? My friend was right. It took me almost a year to realize it, but I did feel better! Life threw me so many other things to deal with that I let go of the anger and the biggest part of the hurt. No, it never goes completely away, but it gets manageable! Like the others have said, you get stronger and wiser. You learn more about yourself and the people you deal with. It will pass, Wah. I promise you!

Until then, rage at the stars, cry all night and wake up in the morning ready to face the world with dignity. You are a worthwhile person, never ever forget it! We're here to listen and to offer moral/emotional support. Have an electronic kleenex, on me!

And Wah? Exactly what do you and Melusine talk about when I can't read the language? (giggle)

Cloudbringer

Hey, CB, can I just say that I laughed very hard at the fact that he had enough nerve to ask you to take her home. Did you? Just curious. Unfortunately, that generally was the way my "study" groups ended up. Without the bursting in part. And the rebuttoning part. And the undergarment part (don't wear 'em, chafts the armor). But other than that . . .



BK

[Cloudbringer]

Well, it might make Wah laugh, so I'll tell you. Yes, I did! I don't know if I was a chump or just evil-minded....hahaha. End result was that David and I never got that face-to-face talk that I needed for closure. But I got to torment the airheaded April all the way to her swanky apt. bldg...and oooopsie, I couldn't park nearby so she had to walk a block! Oh and I swamped them on that exam! HEHEHE

Cloudbringer

New name CB, TearBringer. Glad you got over the rat. Didn't deserve you anyhow. Wah, your friends here will always be loyal, so don't worry.

CB, thanks a lot I didn't know that you had such a dark history, you always seemed so cheerful and vibrant.

By the way, Melusine and I have been going on with a small chain story that is hilarious and interesting but since we've had several crashs they've been kicked to the bottom of the depths.

She is a wicked lady who owns a pit fiend and sends her pet after me everytime I try to attack her. She also owns the ULTIMATE AMULET OF FORM STABILITY, which is practically "powerfullllllll!!!".

I dated her pit fiend later on and cheated on it for imoen after I found out that "she" was actually a "he". Then there's nalia but I won't rub that in LOL!

[Cloudbringer]

Wah! I have to find that story- you and Melusine inspired me (and Rikard!). And I'm glad to see a smiley or two from you. Somebody bump it!!!!!

Yah, I've had my share of tough times, maybe a few beyond it- not all romance problems, mind you! Weird family stuff too....sigh...but hey, I AM an optimist for the most part and I truly believe that if you try to see the positives in life, you live longer and have a bit of fun along the way! Those hard times made me who I am, Wah. Like I told Armie (yah, don't any of you deny it, you read that thread! hehehe), I survived. You will too. Hell, this is just beginning, Wah. Life is still out there- grab hold and hang on. ( and if you want to torment Jerome a little, ck out the age part III thread...I think that's the one... I left him scraping out the hippo pens..heehee)

Cloudbringer

I am so sorry to hear what has happened to you Wah. It sounds like she is losing a great guy. It is her loss. Someday the hurt will go away. Take care of yourself. Plus you deserve better than her.

"You shouldn't live a life in the past, nor should you wait too long for the future to find you" - Jaheria - That was the most beautiful quote from BG2 that I've ever heard and it reflects just who I am. And what I am currently.

Excuse me everyone, I feel like breaking down again, and I must stop typing or else I'll get really emotional.

Love Yer All, Bless

Wah

(PS - Cloudbringer, I'll have a go at Jerome later)