Visit the Ironworks Gaming Website Email the Webmaster Graphics Library Rules and Regulations Help Support Ironworks Forum with a Donation to Keep us Online - We rely totally on Donations from members Donation goal Meter

Ironworks Gaming Radio

Ironworks Gaming Forum

Go Back   Ironworks Gaming Forum > Ironworks Gaming Forums > General Discussion > General Conversation Archives (11/2000 - 01/2005)

 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 02-16-2004, 02:46 PM   #1
Ray-ryu
Elite Waterdeep Guard
 

Join Date: February 8, 2004
Location: Home
Age: 34
Posts: 9
WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)
>To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle.
>
>Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"
>
>"Don't what?" Adam replied.
>
>"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
>
>"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"
>
>"No Way!"
>
>"Yes way!"
>
>"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
>
>"Why"
>
>"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
>
>"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
>
>"Uh huh," Adam replied.
>
>"Then why did you?" said the Father.
>
>"I don't know," said Eve.
>
>"She started it!" Adam said
>
>"Did not!"
>
>"Did too!"
>
>"DID NOT!"
>
>Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
>
>BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
>
>If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
>
>THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
>
>1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
>
>2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
>
>3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
>
>4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
>
>5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
>
>6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
>
>ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.
>
>AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
>
>"TAK E TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"
>
>Quick, send this on to 10 people within the next 5 minutes.
>
>Nothing will happen if you don't, but if you do, 10 people will be laughing!!
>
>
>
__________________
Ray-ryu
Ray-ryu is offline  
Old 02-16-2004, 02:49 PM   #2
Ray-ryu
Elite Waterdeep Guard
 

Join Date: February 8, 2004
Location: Home
Age: 34
Posts: 9
Warning don't drink cofe or other hot drinks while reding
__________________
Ray-ryu
Ray-ryu is offline  
Old 02-16-2004, 02:53 PM   #3
Xen
Symbol of Moradin
 

Join Date: June 5, 2002
Location: Slovenia,Ljubljana
Age: 36
Posts: 8,554
LOL! Funny as hell!
Xen is offline  
Old 02-16-2004, 03:06 PM   #4
Dragonshadow
Quth-Maren
 

Join Date: February 17, 2003
Location: Portsmouth
Age: 34
Posts: 4,145
*laughs**falls off cahir*
Dragonshadow is offline  
Old 02-16-2004, 03:09 PM   #5
Bungleau
40th Level Warrior
 

Join Date: October 29, 2001
Location: Western Wilds of Michigan
Posts: 11,752
Great stuff! Bill Cosby, late 1960's, on the album (not CD!) To Russell, My Brother Whom I Slept With

Amazingly good [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]
__________________
*B*
Save Early, Save Often Save Before, Save After
Two-Star General, Spelling Soldiers
-+-+-+
Give 'em a hug one more time. It might be the last.
Bungleau is offline  
Old 02-16-2004, 03:25 PM   #6
Sythe
Ra
 

Join Date: May 19, 2002
Location: The US of A
Age: 35
Posts: 2,365
Makes me smile.
__________________
Slythe is back! Back again! Haha! <br /><br />[url]\"http://imageshack.us\" target=\"_blank\"> [img]\"http://img472.imageshack.us/img472/9928/130blood4ts.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /></a>
Sythe is offline  
Old 02-16-2004, 03:28 PM   #7
Lord
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
 

Join Date: June 3, 2003
Location: New York
Age: 39
Posts: 3,302
lol.
"1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up. "
That was a really good one [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]
__________________
"You're a thief and a liar."

"No, I only lied about being a thief."
Lord is offline  
Old 02-16-2004, 06:25 PM   #8
slicer15
Symbol of Cyric
 

Join Date: November 12, 2002
Location: Banstead, Southeast England
Age: 37
Posts: 1,162
Loved them...hilarious...great stuff!
slicer15 is offline  
Old 02-16-2004, 07:05 PM   #9
Felix The Assassin
The Dreadnoks
 

Join Date: September 27, 2001
Location: Orlando, FL
Age: 61
Posts: 3,608
True that!
__________________
The Lizzie Palmer Tribute



Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty.

John F. Kennedy
35th President of The United States

The Last Shot

Honor The Fallen

Jesus died for our sins, and American Soldiers died for our freedom.




If you don't stand behind our Soldiers, please feel free to stand in front of them.
Felix The Assassin is offline  
Old 02-16-2004, 10:28 PM   #10
Kakero
40th Level Warrior
 

Join Date: March 24, 2002
Posts: 10,215
nice story. LOL
Kakero is offline  
 


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
New Mirrors added -- In Process! Ziroc NWN Mod: Escape from Undermountain 5 06-07-2006 07:23 AM
Comments on the character building process and other things. Gabrielles blades Neverwinter Nights 1 & 2 Also SoU & HotU Forum 1 02-06-2003 05:10 AM
Prozac -- Road Rage, Children killing Children? Linked? Ziroc General Conversation Archives (11/2000 - 01/2005) 30 09-05-2001 10:44 AM
Level Up Process coopaloop Wizards & Warriors Archives 1 10-27-2000 11:26 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:06 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
©2024 Ironworks Gaming & ©2024 The Great Escape Studios TM - All Rights Reserved