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08-26-2004, 06:56 AM
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#1 |
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Unicorn
 Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
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To Exercise or Not to Exercise
1. It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you, at age 85, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month. 2. My grandmother started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. She is now 97 and we don't know where the hell she is. 3. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. 4. I joined a health club last year, spent about $400. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up. 5. I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I am doing. 6. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body. 7. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. 8. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. 9. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. 10. If you are going to try cross country skiing, start with a small country. 11. And last, but not least, I don't jog - it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
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53.7% of all statistics are made up |
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08-26-2004, 07:21 AM
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#2 |
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Jack Burton
 Join Date: August 24, 2002
Location: Aussie now in the US of A!
Age: 37
Posts: 5,403
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Hahahahaha ROFLMAO!!! each and every one of those were great [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]
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08-26-2004, 09:08 AM
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#3 |
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40th Level Warrior
 Join Date: March 24, 2002
Posts: 10,215
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Somehow I don't like the sound of the no.9 .
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08-26-2004, 09:29 AM
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#4 |
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Harper
 Join Date: October 6, 2001
Location: Iceland
Posts: 4,706
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I'm making #7 my sig... [img]smile.gif[/img]
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08-26-2004, 11:24 AM
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#5 |
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Iron Throne Cult
 Join Date: March 12, 2001
Location: Manila, Philippines
Age: 39
Posts: 4,864
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Hahaha... I love exercise... [img]tongue.gif[/img]
It's great, it's fun it makes me feel good. At least I can touch my toes [img]tongue.gif[/img] hahaha |
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08-26-2004, 11:29 AM
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#6 | |
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Jack Burton
Join Date: August 24, 2002
Location: Aussie now in the US of A!
Age: 37
Posts: 5,403
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Quote:
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08-26-2004, 12:30 PM
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#7 |
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The Dreadnoks
 Join Date: September 27, 2001
Location: Orlando, FL
Age: 61
Posts: 3,608
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Arvon, Dude, you are on a ROLL!
The first one hits hard. 1. It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you, at age 85, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month. I've been in the over 50 a month club for 20+ years now. Hmm, and I still have to sit down to touch my toes!
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The Lizzie Palmer Tribute  Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty. John F. Kennedy 35th President of The United States The Last Shot Honor The Fallen Jesus died for our sins, and American Soldiers died for our freedom.  If you don't stand behind our Soldiers, please feel free to stand in front of them. |
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08-26-2004, 12:38 PM
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#8 |
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Zartan
 Join Date: May 20, 2003
Location: Near Aberdeen, Scotland
Age: 34
Posts: 5,225
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Haha Felix
 Well, those are very...cheesy.
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08-26-2004, 12:58 PM
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#9 |
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Horus - Egyptian Sky God
        Join Date: March 2, 2003
Location: Kentucky
Age: 37
Posts: 2,637
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Yes!! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] Anti-exercise!! Btw, I cant touch my toes without bending my knees, either. (Very tight hamstrings).
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