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Old 03-10-2001, 11:52 AM   #21
Griever
Manshoon
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Philippines
Posts: 211
btw, to answer memny, i am not really hurrying... well i am and im not. i am not pressuring her... cant stop pressuring myself... grrr....

ladyz, i have a sweet and cute lil name? tell that to my friends...

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Old 03-10-2001, 12:24 PM   #22
Moiraine
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Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Up in the Freedomland Alps
Age: 54
Posts: 2,474
Griever, one thing : If you do not feel confident about yourself, why assume that she is confident about herself ? I mean, I have gone through what you now experience, more than once, and it seems to me now that the mistake I have always made at such times was thinking that the man I was in love with was much more confident than I myself was. Maybe you are both waiting for the other to take a decisive step, and she will feel hurt if you don't ?
I remember once, I fell in love with a guy, and for almost a year he never made a step but everywhere I went, he was around. Everywhere ! I could have screamed ! At the time, I thought, if he never invites me, it is because he doesn't want to go out with me, now, 15 years later, what I think is, what if he never dared make the step ?
Am I making sense here ? Tell me guys !

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Old 03-10-2001, 03:39 PM   #23
JJ/newbie
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Spot On, Moraine, you couldn't be more right or correct. If I understand you correctly, griever, you HAVE told her how you feel and HAVE initiated or tried to initiate closer contact of the personal kind?- i. e., holding hands, talking face to face? and she has ignored or not responded to your attempts? But, she still will chat on computer with you, and tells you close and intimate things while the computer separates the two of you? And when you try to be close in person she does not respond? I may be able to give some hard-won experience, but I am not sure after reading the thread exactly what is going on. IF what I just said is what has/is happening, then, my friend, I'm afraid that I have some bad news for you. Consider the following facts as you have stated:

She stated she had a boyfriend when you first started chatting, but he was mean.
She was chatting with you, saying how badly she was treated by her boyfriend
She told you that she broke up with him, but was not ready for another one. - her stated reason to keep you at a safe distance behind the computer screen.
She did then also tell you - text only - that she loves you back.
She still does not do anything to go forward in person, text only.
You KNOW you are not the only one chasing(?) her - she HAD to tell you that for you to know that, yes?
She tells you that she is thinking about suicide/or tried it? - and still will not let you get close to comfort her, text only, again.
You see her in person, but she will not talk to you, but she KNOWS how you feel
because you have told her?
DIAGNOSIS:
If the above is true, this girl is a player, griever, of the worst sort
claiming to have a bad boyfriend, getting sympathy from you by the bucketfull,
but when it comes time to prove it she backs off. Telling you about suicidal
thoughts or actions - that is ONLY to get your sympathy and attention.
She IS BAD NEWS Griever, run far, run fast, she is a mindf*cker, interested only in how far and how long she can string you along. This type of person thrives on having boys chase her, the more the better! If she had ANY real feelings for you, she would have by now done or said something in person. Stay away from her - for your own good.
If you want to do something to make yourself feel better, this is it:
Tell her you WILL NOT NO WAY take her to prom, or ever chat with her again.
Then, ask the girl that you said you were with the day the bad one would not talk to you to the prom - at least SHE is willing to be with/meet you in person.
PREDICTION:
If you try to keep the prom date with this female mind-flayer, she will CANCEL on you, and you will be left in the lurch with no date, because she is already planning to go with someone else, sorry to say. AND, she will leave you high and dry at the last minute, so you will not be able to find someone else to go with, and the reason she will do that is because she will be there with someone else, and does not want you to be there to see her do that.
IF I have understood all that you have said above, I will bet you the CRPG of your choice that I am right, and I will put the money in escrow with memny or vicotnik, or the member of your choice.
PLEASE do not let this psycho ruin your prom and life. I remember what love was like at 16, and believe me, it will probably never be as intense or hurt as much as it does right now- and that is after a divorce after 9 years, I still remember the first time I was in your position, and I think the pain of the two was equal, all things considered.
The best way for you to feel better is to take control of your life back from this little *itch. You can't do anything about the pain righrt now, but a damn good beginning would be to ask the other girl, even if you do not have all these feelings for her - you would be better of going with someone who is just a good friend anyway- the other girl will NOT be happy to see you at the prom with someone else, laughing, dancing and having a good time - she wants you to be at home, feeling suicidal over HER!
DO NOT GIVE HER THE PLEASURE!
If I have gotten it wrong, let me know, but based on what you have said, This is the action plan you should pursue.
Of course, this advice is worth what you paid for it ($0.00), and opinions are like ....elbows. Everybody has a couple Let me know what you think, I am off to a friend who has aplace on the river with my daughter to go fishing and BBQ today, but my sympathy is with you.

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When given a choice, take both.
 
Old 03-10-2001, 07:02 PM   #24
Zenith
Elite Waterdeep Guard
 

Join Date: March 5, 2001
Location: RI, USA
Posts: 29
OK, i have this straight now. JJ/Newbie? The girl is a teenager. Yes, it could safe to make those assumptions of a woman, but a girl? Chances are she is as confused and depressed as Griever. It is no easier to be a teenage girl than it is to be a teenage boy. Sometimes girls are scared and lonely despite the appearances.
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Old 03-10-2001, 08:50 PM   #25
Griever
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Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Philippines
Posts: 211
wow... that reply by JJ/newbie made me feel good, and me realize again my sour mistake...

as to what you have said, almost all were correct, or half. first, this was via text messaging, meaning celfones and stuff... its not chatting. and besides, if we ever did chat, we would also get our celfone numbers... and you get the picture.

as for her bf, he is not really a mean person, just plain wind(arrogance) i believe...

as for the chasing, it means that you are sort of courting her so to speak. get? and that reminds me newbie, your opinion bout that made me think... there was this time, she said to my friend, about some phrase entitled 'wet season'. i asked her one night, she didnt tell me, she said she would tell me some other time, and we texted for like two to five times, and i thought, "stupid, you are pathetic, you couldve told me within that two to five texts you have replied to me..."

she seems to kinda like the fact that she is being chased by a lot of guys, another hit to newbie. her problem is, she cant choose... too hard. she has her crush, but i have no idea if hes a new one or the old, coz if its the old than it wouldnt be possible coz he has a gf already... shit, i think. and after a few days she told me the meaning of wet season. and yeah, it was bout a lot of men courting her.

i, at times have this certain high and would ask her anything, would even say if i could go to her house, but, she wasnt sure, or cannot, or whatever. come to think of it, is she lying all along?

another thing hurt me, this was on valentines day, i gave her a letter, and i think i should have had a thank you, i mean, you should be at least that thoughtful right? IF SHE REALLY TREATS YOU WITH UTMOST IMPORTANCE... blah blah.

for the prom, i have thought of this, and maybe that is quite unlikely to happen, for we have our own dates, almost all of us, and it would really look bitchy and stuff if shed do that... but that will make the final cut, the final piece to the puzzle... is shed ever do that, the hell with her.

the only thing i really wanted for her is to respond, take a lil intiative, and i will go on with her full force, but, she hasnt really shown any interest in me and it makes me feel worse for i really dont know what really is the one? another hit for newbie, she may be just playing with me, keeping me at bay, just in case plan a and b failed.

hahaha. i have thought of everything that could be really possible, and she cant play with me. i play stupid. why coz i am in love, in love with wrong person, or maybe. she thinks that she could really play me like that?

heres my mistake, maybe i havent really excerted any effort getting up close and personal chatting with each other face to face, blah blah, or even more. but here is my stupid philosophy on this kind of relationships...

if she wants to experience the sweetness, the care i have, and more, she has to be willing to give it a shot by having me. i wont give her roses or that crap when i am courting someone, it would be a waste if i wasnt chosen. next reason, usually, people when they are successful, their sweetness and time usually also goes away with it, meaning both parties would be disappointed. get? well thats my philosophy... so for her to really see me face to face, the gifts and stuff, if she is willing to sacrifice everything else to see me do that.

maybe i really havent proven that im up for the task, but here is my opinion, i dont want to be always on the giving end. period.

and ill ask her bout the suicide thing, if that was really her intention, bah, that would be a great hammer on my last pillar standing-my love for her.

to be rude and stuff, she is a stupid girl who only thinks of cute guys, and her hair, and how she looks... vain. whatever. despite all my shortcomings, if i were to find the girl that would really deserve me, haha... its not my loss... i dont lust for sex, i dont even crave for those traditional kisses and yadayada, i just want to have her, here with me, celebrating the moonlight if you know what i mean. last note on the prom, if she ever did that, and i asked her to come dance with me and she said wait, or no, bye bye. i am leaving the prom, or no, my friends are there... ill just play stupid for her.. for the last time.

this thread i should call grievers love diary. hehehe

and besides, i even like to see kara more than her, menaing the feeling is dissipating, my body is learning to adapt once more.

------------------

Tifa loves her Cloud, Squall loves his Rinoa, Sephiroth... loves his Masamune.
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Old 03-10-2001, 09:58 PM   #26
JJ/newbie
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Posts: n/a
glad to hear it Griever, you deserve better, but the first one is always better, and worse than most all the others. Take your lessons and move on, you will be much better off for it. I hope my checklist helped you to organize your thoughts on the matter of her behaviour. - remember for your whole life, people can say whatever they want, it is what they DO that you should pay attention to

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When given a choice, take both.
 
Old 03-10-2001, 10:14 PM   #27
Griever
Manshoon
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Philippines
Posts: 211
thanx jj! i think you have just pushed up confidence i need to get over her. i am just to confirm these stuff to her- if its true. i will be devastated. maybe. but at least i was right again... wishing i was wrong...

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Tifa loves her Cloud, Squall loves his Rinoa, Sephiroth... loves his Masamune.
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Old 03-11-2001, 02:45 AM   #28
Griever
Manshoon
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Philippines
Posts: 211
yeah.. i see your point... dont worry, its ok. dont worry bout ladyz, its alright to say anything here in MY thread hehe (grins)

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Tifa loves her Cloud, Squall loves his Rinoa, Sephiroth... loves his Masamune.
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Old 03-11-2001, 03:04 AM   #29
Griever
Manshoon
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Philippines
Posts: 211
a question just popped up in my head...

am i being stupid for the right or wrong person?

and am i wasting my feelings to her on where i can give it to someone better?

------------------

Tifa loves her Cloud, Squall loves his Rinoa, Sephiroth... loves his Masamune.
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Old 03-11-2001, 03:12 AM   #30
Draconia
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Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Utah
Posts: 581
AWWW Griever, I don't know what to say. I know this is hard. Please keep the hope that someone better will come along some day and you will be able to lavish all of your feelings and love on her. You are not being stupid especially when it comes to your feelings. The way we feel toward someone is something that doesn't go away right away. It takes time and you will see that the right person is out there for you and when you find her, everything you felt for this other girl, will be a distant memory.
UUMMM, I hope this didn't sound dumb.

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