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Old 03-09-2001, 10:26 AM   #11
Griever
Manshoon
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Philippines
Posts: 211
umm not really, but well, you could always find one. i kinda hate the fact that they have to do that just to have money... makes me sick. no freedom, no choice. they never really had a choice to keep their dignity...

and i want no part of hurting their battered dignity more...

thats the prob. i have to get over it fast. its like a virus creepin up the system!!!!


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Tifa loves her Cloud, Squall loves his Rinoa, Sephiroth... loves his sword.
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Old 03-09-2001, 10:30 AM   #12
Memnoch
Ironworks Moderator
 

Join Date: February 28, 2001
Location: Boston/Sydney
Posts: 11,764
Quote:
Originally posted by Griever:
it aint a break-up, and i think its worse than a break up coz i think ill never be able to even get there if you know what i mean... so your advice really helps... it kinda hit me coz of the beer, park and the moonlight... and by then ill be wishing i was with her so she can be experiencing what i am experiencing!!!! SHIT!!!!!

Ryan, easy ka lang, minamadali mo e! My original advice to you was to take it slow and easy and build to it but if it's driving you crazy not knowing, make a decision to speak to her about it at the prom night. Depending on how she responds it will be either the best or the worst night of your life - but at least you'll know and you can move forward rather than being in this nether world that you're suffering in right now. Once you've made a decision to speak to her, you'll feel better because you've put some kind of action plan in place. I went through the same trauma with Taryn, it was stressing me out and starting to affect the way I felt about her (I was getting pissed off at her for no reason). So one day I just thought, fuckit, I'll get this out of my system, either she'll say yes or no, but one way or the other I'll have sorted it out, because being in no-man's land really sucks. FWIW, she said yes Be confident when you do ask her - hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst - just in case.




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Old 03-09-2001, 10:43 AM   #13
Reeka
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
 

Join Date: March 2, 2001
Location: Birmingham, Alabama, USA
Age: 64
Posts: 3,255
Griever: Not sure exactly what you're talking about, but speculating its about the girl you've talked about in the polls. So you'll know, it drive girls crazy too, to not know where they stand with guys.

As usual, Memnoch has some very sound advice. March 30 is only three weeks away. Hang in there.

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Old 03-09-2001, 06:58 PM   #14
Ladyzekke
Ironworks Atomic Moderator
 

Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Virginia, U.S.A.
Age: 51
Posts: 9,002
Bahamut. I mean Griever! Ryan? I that your real name? If so, I love it! Such a sweet name for such a sweet guy! Big hugs from big sis! Hang in there my longlost brother, you'll be OK! We're all here for ya, you KNOW that!

KDogRex - Telling him to go to a prostitute? Shame shame on you! Get off that bicycle, you don't know where it's been!

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Old 03-09-2001, 07:08 PM   #15
WOLFGIR
Bastet - Egyptian Cat Goddess
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Sweden
Age: 44
Posts: 3,450
Hi Griever, this is actually something I tried, helped for awhile..
It includes some things:
1. Alot of you favourite intoxicating spirits
2. An old jogging dress or some blak clothes
3. A big big black forrest that you know rather well (so you donīt get lost and freezee your ass off..)
4. A seriously crazy mind

Ok, drink alot listening to music that makes you happy and full of energy, try something knew without any memories attached.
Then simply run out into the woods, black clothes so you will feel like on with the darkness (has to be performed at night and preferably with a fullmoon!)
Then when you canīt hardly take a step more and you canīt seem to get your bearings dtart screaming and howling like a mad!!
Then run again. Howl or scream now and then..
When you come back, you gonna think yourself a nut and well maybe you are
But if done rightly you will by some crazy way have a big fat grin on your face..

Take a shower and fall asleep and sleep long and well..

Well I actually did this and I felt rather ok for several days..

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Old 03-09-2001, 07:21 PM   #16
The.Relic
Red Dragon
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Long Beach, CA. USA
Age: 62
Posts: 1,589
Griever I wont even to pretend to know what is going on with your situation, but my heart does go out to you. I wish you well..
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Old 03-09-2001, 07:24 PM   #17
Ladyzekke
Ironworks Atomic Moderator
 

Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Virginia, U.S.A.
Age: 51
Posts: 9,002
Wolfgir - HAHA! I bet the neighbors LOVE that!
ps- Too bad you can't get sound effects on your website. That way we could all hear you howl!!!!!!!

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Old 03-10-2001, 06:49 AM   #18
WOLFGIR
Bastet - Egyptian Cat Goddess
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Sweden
Age: 44
Posts: 3,450
Quote:
Originally posted by ladyzekke:
Wolfgir - HAHA! I bet the neighbors LOVE that!
ps- Too bad you can't get sound effects on your website. That way we could all hear you howl!!!!!!!

Well LadyWendy! Here in Sweden we have no problem finding big forrests, and well my neighbours were no where close at the time being LOL, thank the gods for that

Well I have checked with my server friend and now it is ok to both host Yoricks MP3īs and flash so you might be able to here it soon Hehe

Griever, the big meaning with all this howling and yelling is to physically get it out of your system, each person have their own way in dealing with sorrows, I get angry and either burries myself (Have to dig up my old dictionary soon)in heaps of work or take too long training sessions to sweat it out..
One thing tha made the most difference though was that after a time of decandence I stopped smoking, I just quit for no other reason than for my own well being, to do something important for mysef. Try it. At least you will feel physically better if you start training more or do some healthy thing, go have a full body massage (ok, I LMTO when I red Foggys sudgestions but there are you know legal places that do this ).



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Old 03-10-2001, 10:51 AM   #19
Zenith
Elite Waterdeep Guard
 

Join Date: March 5, 2001
Location: RI, USA
Posts: 29
Griever,
Let me get this straight, you're 16, you recently broke up with your girlfriend and you're really upset? Hallelujah! There's hope for the world yet! I don't mean to make light of your situation because it really sucks to be a lovelorn teenager. Personally, you couldn't pay me to return to those times. I don't really have advice for you except that the old adage is true. Time does heal ols wounds (usually). What I find so exciting is the proof that you're a young male and feel free to admit you were/ are in love. It's a wonderful thing to find these days. Too often, young men hide behind a wall claiming they feel nothing and treating others as if they don't. While I'm sorry you feel so crappy today, be proud that! And know that someday, you WILL find a girl that truly appreciates your ability to feel and acknowledge those feelings.
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Old 03-10-2001, 11:28 AM   #20
Griever
Manshoon
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Philippines
Posts: 211
no... i didnt break up. i am not even there. this is my clarification.

she knows how i feel, and now i know how i have been stupid these past few months...

maybe i should start from the very beginning...

i have known her for a while now, i could say for a year. and we have in touch with each other via text messaging(its so popular here). she had a boyfriend then. he was an asshole and he was arrogant, or whatever. i dont care. anyway she broke up with him.

before all that, i was null, i liked to be her friend, a close friend, she responded. and it made me happy helping her through all those tough shit she was goin through.. or at least that was what i thought.

after a few months, i suddenly was shocked with this development. i kept on denying it to myself that i did not love her and it was just an infatuation, blablah... unfortunately it wasnt.

by november, i decided to tell her what i felt. she said she wasnt ready, but i said i will wait...

by christmas she said i love you back at me. i was so happy, but it wouldnt last though...

unfortunately, again, i am not the only one chasing her, and well, i am not good with competition.

how i felt for her, how i want her to know what i feel, as in that deep thing, lalala, i couldnt relay it to her.

i think diffrently than most people do. lets take for example the prom. most people would say, "WEE!!! I HELD HER HAND!!!" Id think, whats with holding her hand if there is nothing else, meaning at least a thank you, or something that would make me feel wanted, loved.

if i had the guts to end my life, i wouldnt, and the reason would be her, even if i dont have her.

there was this one day, that my confidence in our friendship and a little in myself crumbled. we were texting, and she said she was going to talk to her coach(she is varsity in volleyball). i asked why, she replied regarding her slashes. i said the ones behind her thumb, she said yes, and the one on the wrist. PING.

in my book, slashing yourself in the wrist means that you are about to kill yourself...

i thought i meant something to her, someone special as she said i was. i am to comfirm these crap, if she really was ending her life at that moment. and if she was attempting it, that only means one thing...

that means that i dont mean anything to her, why? simple. she knew how i felt for her, and she meant the world to me, at least i could be the last pillar standing... if she felt rejected even by her family, she couldve thought that,"No... at least someONE loves me, cares for me, values me..." even if i were the only one, she should have held back and thought that... if she really meant what she said before...

a few days ago, kara and i were like fooling around, well until now actually. we are calling sweet names with each other and stuff... more of like a joke, but it makes me feel good, keeps me happy and sane. at least she calls me this, and its coming from a person i highly respect and trust, unlike the other one now, the one i said on the old forum.

this afternoon, i went to their school fair, i saw kara, and the other gang, but i feel sort of this hatred toward them, so i didnt greet them... kara was on this booth, i bought there and stuff, and then later that day i saw my date.

well, whatever. i felt happier i saw kara then to me seeing her.

i never realized, no, i just keep on denying the fact the the person i love the most, cared the most and etc, i havent made any effort, no, she wasnt reaching out. moving on, i realized that she is the one hurting me, killing me the most also.

the only thing i really wanted for her to do, is just initiate! god, a good morning, or whatever would make me feel cloud nine! why cant she do that?! why does it have to be always me? why?

------------------

Tifa loves her Cloud, Squall loves his Rinoa, Sephiroth... loves his sword.
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