How to buy a computor

[shadowhound]

Hello this is Shadowhound and Dagorion and today we will be telling you the best way to get a computer.

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Dagorion: You know Shadow, a lot of people out there are asking theirselves if they should buy a computer

Shadow: Well i'm asking myself that right now

Dagorion: Exactly, and the answer is, if you get bored waiting for the things you own to become obsolete then a computer is for you

Shadow: You bet. Now the single most important factor you will want to keep in mind when buying a coomputer is size. Get one that is too big to throw out the window because thats what you are going to want to do at least three times a day.

Dagorion: Good point Shadow,

Shadow: Thank you

Dagorion: Thats going to save you a lot of money in the long run.

Shadow: Remember though folks, computers are getting smaller and smaller all the time, so it might be a good idea to avoid problems later down the road by moving into a basement with very small windows.

Dagorion: The next thing you will need to decide is whether to buy a laptop or a desktop.

Shadow: Hmm, good point Dagorion. You know a few years ago all computers were desktops and that means they were compact enough to fit on a desk, but if you put them on a table, counter or god-forbid your lap they would shoot deadly beams into your eyes and you dont want that.

Dagorion: Oh no.

Shadow: But now however we have laptops. The word laptop comes from a latin word meaning dont drop this. Laptop computers are designed to be light and portable so that you can impress strangers on aircraft.

Dagorion: I like to do that.

Shadow: Yeah me too. Whichever type of computer you choose a important consideration is RAM.

Dagorion: Shadow, how much RAM should you buy?

Shadow: Well in the famous words of Ernest Hemmingway, "Buy lots of RAM." You know, here is a good tip when buying RAM. Think of a very large number, think of... well think of the largest number you know.

Dagorion: OK

Shadow: And then multiply is by eight.

Dagorion: OK

Shadow: Thats how much RAM you need. Now RAM comes in packs of eight, 8 megabytes, 16 megabytes, 32 megabytes, 12 546 112 megabytes. The reason RAM only comes in sections of eight is because inside your computer the RAM is minipulated by tiny elves and these elves only have eight fingers.

Dagorion: I like it when elves manipulate things.

Shadow: Err, yeah, ok. Make sure your new computer comes with a CD rom. This is important because a CD Rom enables you to access interactive versions of encyclapedias, novels, cookbooks and other kind of boring books you wouldnt normally buy in a million years.
A CD Rom also allows you to access multimedia.

Dagorion: Well what is Multimedia?

Shadow: Well multimedia is just like ordinary media, but not as good. For example you could watch a video on your computer. A boring video of things you dont really care about but smaller and more flickery. Its like owning a television, only smaller.

Dagorion: Well with all this information in hand you are just about ready to buy a computer.

Shadow: The only thing you need to know now is where to buy it from. We suggest you try a furniture store where they use fake computers to demonstrate what their desks look like.

Dagorion: Oh yes, if you can manage to steal one of those you will have a great looking computer to impress your friends. And nobody will be able to tell its fake.

Shadow: Especially after its got that convincing layer of dust over top of it. Well you are now fully prepared to go and get a computer. Thanks for joining us and this is Shadow and Dagorion wishing you happy computing.

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