21 Things Not To Do At A Hostage Negotiation

Sir Goulum · 06-09-2002, 03:55 PM

21 Things Not To Do At A Hostage Negotiation

As Hostage Taker:

1. Demand to speak only with FBI agents Fox Mulder and Dana
Scully.

2. Have one of the hostages hold your gun while you make a quick
trip to the bathroom.

3. Let one hostage go to the bathroom. When he doesn't return,
send the others to see what's taking him so long.

4. Agree to let the hostages go, after doing so, make you
demands.

5. Rig the building to explode if someone tries to go through the
door, then remember that you forgot to lock your car and leave
the room.

6. Confuse the detonator for your explosive booby-traps with your
garage door opener.

7. Tell the negotiator that you'd rather choke on tear gas than
let the hostages go.

8. Allow one of the hostages to win possession of your gun
because of a rock paper scissors tournament.

9. Forget your gun at home.

10. Run away bawling like a baby when one of your hostages calls
you a "meanie".

11. Ask the negotiator to tell your fiancÈe that this is all a
joke and would she marry you.

As Negotiator:

1. Ask the hostage taker if he/she would like to go to dinner
after the stand-off.

2. When hearing the demands suddenly yell into the phone, "It's
always you you you! What about my needs?!"

3. When you call the hostage taker, tell him you'd like a large
thick crust pepperoni and snicker loudly.

4. Show up stoned and do anything at all.

5. When the hostage taker lists his demands yell into the phone
"La la la la! I can't hear you!"

6. Mention how much income tax the hostage taker will have to pay
if he/she gets the F-15 he/she wants.

7. Tell the hostage take that you think Rosanne Barr should play
him in the TV movie of the stand-off.

8. Tell the hostage taker you think it would be really cool if a
hostage came flying out of a 52nd story window.

9. Tell the hostage taker that he must convert to Hindu if he
wants you to deal with him.

10.When the hostage taker agrees to let the hostages go tell him,
"You're never gonna be on COPS with a wussy attitude like that."

johnny · 06-09-2002, 04:10 PM

thanks Sir G, there certainly were some usefull tips in there. lol

Sir Goulum · 06-09-2002, 04:12 PM

Always trying to help

Dreamer128 · 06-09-2002, 04:15 PM

Now I know what went wrong. Well, at least I have 50 years to figur out what to do the next time.

SomeGuy · 06-09-2002, 04:18 PM

LOL Good job Sir G!

Top 15 things never to say to a cop...

15.No offi,offic,lucifer,I'm not drunk!i swear to dog!

14.No,I don't no how fast i was going,the little needle stops at 110mph.

13.I know i was weaving,but i was trying to hit all the little green men!

12.NO!YOU assume the position!

11.I'm surprised you stopped me!Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!

10.OH C'mon!I was only going 230 miles per hour on the 20 miles per hour street!

9.(drunkly) You think "I" *hic* had to much to *hic* drink?! I think *hic* you had to much to *hic* drink!

8.Gee!Thanks!The last officer gave me a warning too!

7.That uniform makes your butt look REALLY big.

6.Did'nt I see you get you butt whooped on cops?

5.Hey!Can you give me one of those full cavity searches?

4.Here-hold my beer while i get my license.

3.If I bend over will i still get a ticket?

2.You're not gonna check the trunk are you?

1.Hurry up and right the darn icket!Your wife is exspecting me!

Sir Goulum · 06-09-2002, 04:28 PM

Lol! Those were good too!

06-09-2002, 04:10 PM	#2
johnny 40th Level Warrior Join Date: April 15, 2002 Location: Utrecht The Netherlands Age: 58 Posts: 16,981	thanks Sir G, there certainly were some usefull tips in there. lol __________________

06-09-2002, 04:18 PM	#5
SomeGuy Unicorn Join Date: May 14, 2002 Location: Oklahoma, USA Age: 33 Posts: 4,238	LOL Good job Sir G! Top 15 things never to say to a cop... 15.No offi,offic,lucifer,I'm not drunk!i swear to dog! 14.No,I don't no how fast i was going,the little needle stops at 110mph. 13.I know i was weaving,but i was trying to hit all the little green men! 12.NO!YOU assume the position! 11.I'm surprised you stopped me!Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special! 10.OH C'mon!I was only going 230 miles per hour on the 20 miles per hour street! 9.(drunkly) You think "I" hic had to much to hic drink?! I think hic you had to much to hic drink! 8.Gee!Thanks!The last officer gave me a warning too! 7.That uniform makes your butt look REALLY big. 6.Did'nt I see you get you butt whooped on cops? 5.Hey!Can you give me one of those full cavity searches? 4.Here-hold my beer while i get my license. 3.If I bend over will i still get a ticket? 2.You're not gonna check the trunk are you? 1.Hurry up and right the darn icket!Your wife is exspecting me! __________________ \"I firmly believe that any man\'s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.\"<br />-Vince Lombardi

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06-09-2002, 03:55 PM	#1
Sir Goulum John Locke Join Date: February 7, 2002 Location: Edmonton, Canada Age: 35 Posts: 8,985	21 Things Not To Do At A Hostage Negotiation As Hostage Taker: 1. Demand to speak only with FBI agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. 2. Have one of the hostages hold your gun while you make a quick trip to the bathroom. 3. Let one hostage go to the bathroom. When he doesn't return, send the others to see what's taking him so long. 4. Agree to let the hostages go, after doing so, make you demands. 5. Rig the building to explode if someone tries to go through the door, then remember that you forgot to lock your car and leave the room. 6. Confuse the detonator for your explosive booby-traps with your garage door opener. 7. Tell the negotiator that you'd rather choke on tear gas than let the hostages go. 8. Allow one of the hostages to win possession of your gun because of a rock paper scissors tournament. 9. Forget your gun at home. 10. Run away bawling like a baby when one of your hostages calls you a "meanie". 11. Ask the negotiator to tell your fiancÈe that this is all a joke and would she marry you. As Negotiator: 1. Ask the hostage taker if he/she would like to go to dinner after the stand-off. 2. When hearing the demands suddenly yell into the phone, "It's always you you you! What about my needs?!" 3. When you call the hostage taker, tell him you'd like a large thick crust pepperoni and snicker loudly. 4. Show up stoned and do anything at all. 5. When the hostage taker lists his demands yell into the phone "La la la la! I can't hear you!" 6. Mention how much income tax the hostage taker will have to pay if he/she gets the F-15 he/she wants. 7. Tell the hostage take that you think Rosanne Barr should play him in the TV movie of the stand-off. 8. Tell the hostage taker you think it would be really cool if a hostage came flying out of a 52nd story window. 9. Tell the hostage taker that he must convert to Hindu if he wants you to deal with him. 10.When the hostage taker agrees to let the hostages go tell him, "You're never gonna be on COPS with a wussy attitude like that."

06-09-2002, 04:12 PM	#3
Sir Goulum John Locke Join Date: February 7, 2002 Location: Edmonton, Canada Age: 35 Posts: 8,985	Always trying to help

06-09-2002, 04:15 PM	#4
Dreamer128 Dracolisk Join Date: March 21, 2001 Location: Europe Age: 39 Posts: 6,136	Now I know what went wrong. Well, at least I have 50 years to figur out what to do the next time.

06-09-2002, 04:28 PM	#6
Sir Goulum John Locke Join Date: February 7, 2002 Location: Edmonton, Canada Age: 35 Posts: 8,985	Lol! Those were good too!

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