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Old 10-31-2004, 06:19 PM   #1
Attalus
Symbol of Bane
 

Join Date: November 26, 2001
Location: Texas
Age: 75
Posts: 8,167
Mad

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dan Jenkins sums up the types of movies.

Romantic Movies -
Edward doesn't see how he can divorce his wife as long as she's in that wheelchair. Rachael doesn't see how she can divorce her husband as long as he's off at war. Oh, well, time to [make love] again.

Cop Movies -
"Make my day, Carlos, so I can hasta la vista your dope-crazed ass."

Adventure Movies -
"Let me get this straight. We have twelve hours to get the diamonds out of the temple, or the Nazi mummies will stick forks in our eyes?"

English Movies -
They talked for three days and the girl never fell off the cliff.

Subtitle Movies -
They smoked a lot, nobody could figure out how to turn off the windshield wipers, and two or three people caught trains.

Western Movies -
"A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, Clarissa. Now put the coffee on while I go out and kill these outlaws that forgot to shave today."

Science Fiction Movies -
"It doesn't seem possible that they can look, act and talk like humans when only three days ago they were in boxes of Cream of Wheat. How can this be, Professor?"

Safari Movies -
"He says he saw a white man come through here six weeks ago, but he went off to Magonga Goola with Ava Gardner."

Medical Movies -
"I'm afraid that the pain will slowly consume his whole body, but he probably won't go blind until there's nobody left in the audience."

Historical Movies -
That moat doesn't seem to do much good.

War Movies -
"No sir, I've never landed a B-17 before - I'm just a homespun tailgunner from Pocatella, Idaho."

Horror Movies -
"Is that you, Debbie?"
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Old 10-31-2004, 06:24 PM   #2
Variol (Farseer) Elmwood
Jack Burton
 

Join Date: May 16, 2003
Location: Dartmouth, NS Canada
Age: 58
Posts: 5,634
That's very insightful?
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Old 10-31-2004, 06:26 PM   #3
Hivetyrant
Jack Burton
 

Join Date: August 24, 2002
Location: Aussie now in the US of A!
Age: 37
Posts: 5,403
lol, those are hilarious Attalus [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]
I loved this one:
Quote:
Adventure Movies -
"Let me get this straight. We have twelve hours to get the diamonds out of the temple, or the Nazi mummies will stick forks in our eyes?"
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Old 10-31-2004, 07:08 PM   #4
Kakero
40th Level Warrior
 

Join Date: March 24, 2002
Posts: 10,215
I can imagine the horror movie one. " is that you debbie? " and suddenly this stupid loud sudden stop music play.
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Old 10-31-2004, 07:39 PM   #5
Arvon
Unicorn
 

Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
It seems you forgot the Japanese monster movie where the monster eats all of Las Vagus, but spits out Elvis.
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Old 10-31-2004, 09:26 PM   #6
aleph_null1
Red Wizard of Thay
 

Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Honolulu, Hawai'i
Age: 40
Posts: 837
Quote:
Originally posted by Attalus:
Subtitle Movies -
They smoked a lot, nobody could figure out how to turn off the windshield wipers, and two or three people caught trains.
Too perfect, Attalus; almost every movie I own is like this
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Old 11-01-2004, 05:23 AM   #7
Intrepid
Symbol of Cyric
 

Join Date: March 28, 2003
Location: Australia
Age: 36
Posts: 1,124
the subtitled movie one is great!
allways smoking and catching trains!
great
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Old 11-01-2004, 05:28 AM   #8
Xen
Symbol of Moradin
 

Join Date: June 5, 2002
Location: Slovenia,Ljubljana
Age: 36
Posts: 8,554
ROFL! Those were great Attie!
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Old 11-01-2004, 05:45 AM   #9
Callum
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Join Date: October 21, 2004
Location: Vancouver, BC
Age: 35
Posts: 1,143
Heh... I like
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Old 11-01-2004, 01:11 PM   #10
Beaumanoir
Iron Throne Cult
 

Join Date: June 3, 2001
Location: There is no IRL, Only AFK.
Age: 35
Posts: 4,896
Mad

Quote:
Originally posted by Attalus:

War Movies -
"No sir, I've never landed a B-17 before - I'm just a homespun tailgunner from Pocatella, Idaho."
[img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

Amazing
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