My Story?

This is my story so far tell me how you like it
Concentrating, Sanzo waved his hand and grinned as green sparks flew from his fingertips. The green sparks promptly zoomed forward with a bang and a flash only to stop in mid air right in front of his friend Gary. Laughing Gary flicked his wrist and the green sparks abruptly turned around to speed to where Sanzo was standing. Quickly Sanzo muttered a few words to himself and then clapped his hands and then disappeared with a flash of black and yellow light. Seconds after he disappeared the green sparks stricked to where he would have been standing causing the ground to scorch and change into a pool of water. Scowling Gary looked right and left and hurriedly started probing the area with his mind until he noticed a faint presence somewhere to his right.
Gary smiled and then pointed his finger to where he detected the aura and dramatically chanted ' Ingorno, Capino, Apaer'.
A few lights flickered back and forth to where he pointed until with a surprised look on his face Sanzo appeared blanketed in a white light. Quickly recovering from this shock, he searched his mind for an appropriate spell to counter his friends spells and found one. Smiling he gestured with his right hand and black flames roared into existence around him. Immediately after that he gestured with his left hand and a bluish shimmering light appeared and floated around him slightly shining.
' You never give up do you?' asked Gary in a tired tone of voice as he scanned the flames looking for Sanzo.
' I don't need to." Retorted Sanzo with a touch of defiance in his voice.
' Ya, of course you don't need to when you spend your whole day hiding.' Gary taunted in an attempt to draw him out from behind the fire.
' Ok lets see! ' Sanzo screamed as he ran out of the sheets of flame.
Gary laughed to himself at the stupidity of his friend and pointed his finger at him. Slowly he invoked ' Avkada Solano'. A bolt of pink thunder roared at Sanzo and then veered off sharply when it reached the blue light which was surrounding him.
' Well well well, a deflect magic spell ' Gary said, ' Lets see if it can deflect this!'
Right after saying that Gary cupped his hands together and then pulled them apart. Flashes of green appeared in the center of Sanzo's shield and then started to move in opposite directions until with a sucking noise the blue shield disappeared.
' Lets see what you can block now.' Gary teased and then started to raise his hands.
' Time for Supper!' called Sanzo's mom. ' Come on in!'
' But mom please we are almost done! Five More minutes. ' Sanzo pleaded
' No your food will get cold. Come on in '
' All right mom.' Sanzo said unhappily.
' Nice duel ' Sanzo said to Gary as they walked to Sanzo's house.
' Yep the best part was with the Deflect Magic spell which I ruined ' Gary commented as they entered Sanzo's house.
With a touch of scorn Sanzo replied' No it was how I made myself invisible when you reflected my stun spell.'
' Whatever what I want to know is what is for supper? ' Asked Gary
' I think Fish and Chips' guessed Sanzo as they entered the dining room.
Much to Gary's surprise Sanzo's guess was correct and even more to his surprise he enjoyed the supper greatly even though he normally hated fish and chips. As he was almost done with his serving the second Sanzo wasn't looking he quickly muttered a spell at Sanzo's plate. Snickering he watched as Sanzo ate and ate but for some reason couldn't finish his food.
Giving Gary an evil look he quickly muttered the counter spell.

Very good!! It had my attention through the whole thing...And when mom called the two to dinner was a nice surprise interuption...

one thing...The word "stricked" is spelled "streaked."
Keep it coming!!!!!!!!!!

cool story Jon, I was just wondering, are the invoking words Latin? they looked a little like it, or did you just make it up?

Made them up Caliton and Larry I thought something was wrong with that word thanks!

ok here is an updated version of it and I am working on it very hard and would like some constructive critisisem.
Concentrating, Sanzo waved his hand and grinned as green sparks flew from his fingertips. The green sparks promptly zoomed forward with a bang and a flash only to stop in mid air right in front of his friend Gary. Laughing Gary flicked his wrist and the green sparks abruptly turned around to speed to where Sanzo was standing. Quickly Sanzo muttered a few words to himself and then clapped his hands and then disappeared with a flash of black and yellow light. Seconds after he disappeared the green sparks streaked to where he would have been standing causing the ground to scorch and change into a pool of water. Scowling Gary looked right and left and hurriedly started probing the area with his mind until he noticed a faint presence somewhere to his right.
Gary smiled and then pointed his finger to where he detected the aura and dramatically chanted ' Ingorno, Capino, Apaer'.
A few lights flickered back and forth to where he pointed until with a surprised look on his face Sanzo appeared blanketed in a white light. Quickly recovering from this shock, he searched his mind for an appropriate spell to counter his friends spells and found one. Smiling he gestured with his right hand and black flames roared into existence around him. Immediately after that he gestured with his left hand and a bluish shimmering light appeared and floated around him slightly shining.
' You never give up do you?' asked Gary in a tired tone of voice as he scanned the flames looking for Sanzo.
' I don't need to." Retorted Sanzo with a touch of defiance in his voice.
' Ya, of course you don't need to when you spend your whole day hiding.' Gary taunted in an attempt to draw him out from behind the fire.
' Ok lets see! ' Sanzo screamed as he ran out of the sheets of flame.
Gary laughed to himself at the stupidity of his friend and pointed his finger at him. Slowly he invoked ' Avkada Solano'. A bolt of pink thunder roared at Sanzo and then veered off sharply when it reached the blue light which was surrounding him.
' Well well well, a deflect magic spell ' Gary said, ' Lets see if it can deflect this!'
Right after saying that Gary cupped his hands together and then pulled them apart. Flashes of green appeared in the center of Sanzo's shield and then started to move in opposite directions until with a sucking noise the blue shield disappeared.
' Lets see what you can block now.' Gary teased and then started to raise his hands.
' Time for Supper!' called Sanzo's mom. ' Come on in!'
' But mom please we are almost done! Five More minutes. ' Sanzo pleaded
' No your food will get cold. Come on in '
' All right mom.' Sanzo said unhappily.
' Nice duel though ' Sanzo said to Gary as they walked to Sanzo's house.
' Yep the best part was with the Deflect Magic spell which I ruined by splitting in half' Gary commented as they entered Sanzo's house.
With a touch of scorn in his voice Sanzo replied ' No the best part was how I made myself invisible when you reflected my really cool stun spell.'
' Whatever no point in arguing, right now what I want to know is what is for supper? ' Asked Gary once they were inside the house and had removed there robes.
' I think Fish and Chips' guessed Sanzo as they entered the dining room.
Much to Gary's surprise Sanzo's guess was correct and even more to his surprise he enjoyed the supper greatly even though he normally hated fish and chips. However since he was still I little mad at his friend when he was almost done with his serving and second Sanzo wasn't looking he quickly muttered a spell which was aimed at Sanzo's little black plate. Snickering he watched as Sanzo ate and ate the fish and chips but for some reason couldn't finish his food.
Giving Gary an evil look he quickly said the counter spell.
Then he pointed his finger at a jar behind Gary and muttered quietly to himself ' Alof Nolof ' Slowly the jar rose up and hovered over Gary's head. Sensing something was wrong he looked up and let out a yelp. He then with annoyance uttered a few words and swung his hands down, but to his annoyance the jar instead of becoming under his control just danced around every now and then threatening to tip its contents on him.
Sanzo winked at him and started to turn his hand in a semicircle, and the jar slowly started to tip over and a drop of water fell onto Gary's head. In response to that Gary angrily uttered an enchantment and laughed, as yellow lights completely surrounded Sanzo, which danced around him slowly every now and then hitting him with a blast of light.
At that point Sanzo's dad came in and wearily said ' Volta Prior Enchantion '.
The jar slowly levitated down and the lights around Sanzo disappeared with a pop. And both of the boys looked at each other and then at the ground.
Sanzo's dad wearily looked at them and said in a quiet voice' Now you both know the rules, No magic in the house. ' After saying this he sat down at the long brown table with the two kids and started to eat his portion. Occasionally a little spark of conversation started on topics like How Was Your Day? And Do You Like The Supper? But most of the meal was eaten in silence.
After they all finished Sanzo's dad stood up and said ' Well Sanzo and Gary, tomorrow is a big step in life for you. ' He paused for dramatic effect and continued,
' Both of you are talented Mage's, so I hope you will do well at your school. ' Right after saying this he cleared his throat and went on, ' I know that you can do well and I know that you will make me proud.'
At that point Sanzo stopped paying attention until his father concluded with, ' Whatever you do make sure to write once a week. ' After saying that he looked at both of them and waited expectantly until Sanzo said ' Right Dad.'
Once hearing this from Sanzo his dad went on ' Well Gary I think that it is time for you to go and get ready with your family.'
Gary got up and then said ' Right thanks for the food also thanks for having me over'
Both Gary and Sanzo walked to the door and Sanzo watched as Gary left.

Whoops, double-posted

Bravo! Bravo!
just wondering, are you going to keep adding onto the story? Because I want to know what happens to Gary and Sanzo Keep up the good work, Jon ( Btw, The Dracoliche is extremly..errmm... Challenging )

why thanks I plan on writing a book and this is the beggining.

I like it!
Interesting setting, it seems to me (from the fish and chips) that it would be something like modern day times, with a twist of fantasy...
I have yet to read a book that has tackled this style.
You have certainly set up for a very intersting story, I hope you keep it going, it should be interesting if you keep adding parts, because you will no doubt get a lot of input from people on this board, which if you are willing, you can add to your "tale"...
I have considered writing a fantasy story, and have started a number of different ones, but I find it difficult to continue with a steady rate of interest through out.
It is probably best to write out a plot before you start, but I never bothered to do this, have you? I am just wondering where you see this going...

As for posetive criticism, I have none, except that you have made a good start