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Old 07-17-2003, 09:22 PM   #1
The Hierophant
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Join Date: May 10, 2002
Location: Dunedin, New Zealand.
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Heya.
Ok, well, I could use a little advice folks. See, last night was a pretty big one. To celebrate the new University semester myself and a whole bunch of friends went out and just got really really tanked. Clubs, pubs all that sorta stuff. Anyways, that's all fine and good, but I ran into one of my workmates that I'm quite good friends with while we were all out (she was pretty drunk too), and we ended up being the only two people of 'our group' still dancing by the end of the night. Now, I've always found her quite attractive, but kept it on a friendly/professional basis. Now, the two of us, dancing together, more than a little drunk, you really can't blame the careless, evil, lustful side of The Hierophant for rearing his head can ya? [img]smile.gif[/img] So anyways, started 'overstepping the bounds of friendship' so to speak, to which I'm pretty sure she wasn't all that keen. Now, seeing as it didn't exactly fly with her, we sorta just let it drop.

Which brings me to the advice I need.

We'll be working together on Sunday, doing the lunch-rush coffee making and all that. How do you guys think I should approach this? I was thinking that I'd just pretend it didn't happen. Keep it chilled, go on about business as usual. Drunken shennanegans happens all the time right? No worries. But have any of you guys been in similar situations? How did they pan out? Any handy tips? I've pretty much sworn off've binge-drinking after waking up this morning with a major hang-over, but then, I swear off've binge-drinking EVERY time I wake up with a hang-over

Anyways, take care all, and let me know if you have any ideas regarding this most perplexing dilemma [img]smile.gif[/img]
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Old 07-17-2003, 09:56 PM   #2
Ladyzekke
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I'd say since you were both drunk and impulsive, and she wasn't receptive to that type of thing, that you just pretend it didn't happen. Don't try to approach her and talk about it LOL, not in case she brings it up. I think yall should be just able to "carry on" so to speak, in other words don't let it separate you from eachother. Just take away any uncomfortableness by again, not talking about it and just chat as you had been before [img]smile.gif[/img]
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Old 07-18-2003, 03:37 AM   #3
wellard
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I have to disagree with the lady. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Do talk about it, but frame it well. Don't apologise for coming on strong, after all that would be akin to saying I was only going to make a pass at you cause I was drunk! Apologise for putting her in an uncomfortable position and not picking up the signs that she just wanted to be friends. laugh about how boorish men get when drunk ect. IMO Hierophant It is up to you to start the conversation as soon as possible maybe compare how much coffee you both had to drink on the morning after!

Good luck [img]graemlins/heee.gif[/img]
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Old 07-18-2003, 06:16 AM   #4
Melusine
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I'd tend to agree with Wellard, actually. [img]smile.gif[/img]
But of course I wasn't there so you're in the best position to judge the situation, H. If you think there'll be no hard feelings...
Maybe she was so drunk she doesn't even remember, LOL. But if she might feel awkward or something like that, I'd take Wellard's advice. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Good to see you BTW Phanty!! Up to your usual antics, I can tell... Hope you've been well!
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Old 07-18-2003, 08:19 AM   #5
Memnoch
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Quote:
Originally posted by The Hierophant:
Heya.
Ok, well, I could use a little advice folks. See, last night was a pretty big one. To celebrate the new University semester myself and a whole bunch of friends went out and just got really really tanked. Clubs, pubs all that sorta stuff. Anyways, that's all fine and good, but I ran into one of my workmates that I'm quite good friends with while we were all out (she was pretty drunk too), and we ended up being the only two people of 'our group' still dancing by the end of the night. Now, I've always found her quite attractive, but kept it on a friendly/professional basis. Now, the two of us, dancing together, more than a little drunk, you really can't blame the careless, evil, lustful side of The Hierophant for rearing his head can ya? [img]smile.gif[/img] So anyways, started 'overstepping the bounds of friendship' so to speak, to which I'm pretty sure she wasn't all that keen. Now, seeing as it didn't exactly fly with her, we sorta just let it drop.

Which brings me to the advice I need.

We'll be working together on Sunday, doing the lunch-rush coffee making and all that. How do you guys think I should approach this? I was thinking that I'd just pretend it didn't happen. Keep it chilled, go on about business as usual. Drunken shennanegans happens all the time right? No worries. But have any of you guys been in similar situations? How did they pan out? Any handy tips? I've pretty much sworn off've binge-drinking after waking up this morning with a major hang-over, but then, I swear off've binge-drinking EVERY time I wake up with a hang-over

Anyways, take care all, and let me know if you have any ideas regarding this most perplexing dilemma [img]smile.gif[/img]
G'day mate, the dreaded drunken snog! This has happened to me a few times, with friends and ex-girlfriends. It all depends on how she feels about it I guess - and how YOU feel about it. I'm guessing you're chilled out about it and don't really care which way you go, as long as you don't damage the friendship. In that case, it will depend on whether or not she's uncomfortable with what happened, which will depend on the kind of girl she is. If she's an easygoing girl, chances are she'll realise that shit happens, people get drunk, hormones go on overload and all that, but at the end of the day there's no real harm done. In that case you can joke about the whole thing and it will actually enhance your friendship - it'll have that little bit of sexual edge - knowing that nothing CAN happen, but something just MIGHT. In this case, it's better to just have a bit of a laugh about it to break the tension, show there are no hard feelings, and prevent it from becoming a mental wedge between you two if you had pretended it didn't happen (because it DID happen!).

If she's a bit paranoid, then you might have to actually spell things out and clarify the relationship. I'm guessing that she's not that type of girl, though. [img]smile.gif[/img]
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Old 07-18-2003, 09:02 AM   #6
The Hierophant
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Join Date: May 10, 2002
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Age: 36
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Thanks for the advice guys. I think I'll try a little bit of what each of you has suggested, should work out fine. I'm ashamed to admit that I've slept with female friends before and it has effectively killed off/wierded-out many friendships I've had. Just didn't want another one to bite the dust so to speak. Time to start learning from my mistakes and do the right thing for a change [img]smile.gif[/img] Thanks again.

And it's good to see you too Mel. Aside from this little 'crisis' everything has been great. Back at university, back at kung fu training (working off my 'holiday gut' heh heh), flat is working out really well. All in all, life is pretty sweet. And you? How's life in the northern summer treating our favourite dutch lass? [img]smile.gif[/img]

And Memnoch, how are things with Taryn? All is well I hope. Not having to fend off too many would-be suitors? [img]smile.gif[/img]
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Old 07-18-2003, 10:39 AM   #7
Memnoch
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Quote:
Originally posted by The Hierophant:
Thanks for the advice guys. I think I'll try a little bit of what each of you has suggested, should work out fine. I'm ashamed to admit that I've slept with female friends before and it has effectively killed off/wierded-out many friendships I've had. Just didn't want another one to bite the dust so to speak. Time to start learning from my mistakes and do the right thing for a change [img]smile.gif[/img] Thanks again.
This is a tricky one, isn't it. You've got to decide if the lasting benefits of the friendship are worth the physical pleasure of one night. Completely sober, it's an easy decision to make - when you're hammered, it's a bit harder, isn't it.


Quote:
And Memnoch, how are things with Taryn? All is well I hope. Not having to fend off too many would-be suitors? [img]smile.gif[/img]
Nah. Besides, she's off again - to Canada and New York for a couple of months before she's back here. It was good to see her for a couple of weeks - would-be suitors and all. We've both gotten used to the comings-and-goings, quite amazed that we've managed to stay faithful after all of it. [img]graemlins/wow.gif[/img]

Still, I'm looking forward to the day when she finally decides to settle in Sydney, which should hopefully be at the end of this year. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Go the Boks, btw... [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[ 07-18-2003, 10:42 AM: Message edited by: Memnoch ]
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Old 07-18-2003, 10:54 AM   #8
Melusine
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Join Date: January 8, 2001
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Aaron! [img]graemlins/happywave.gif[/img]
Good to hear you've been doing well. [img]smile.gif[/img]
Yes, it's a tricky situation, almost as tricky as the "sex with your ex" thing. Luckily I've never had the first type of trouble - my male friends have almost always been completely unattractive, LOL (to me anyway [img]tongue.gif[/img] ), and the few that I met and did find attractive I ended up having a relationship with. [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

Mario, sorry to hear Taryn's abroad again! I'm sure you'll both manage fine, but still, it's not as much fun as having her near you is it? [img]graemlins/idontwanna.gif[/img] Hope the months'll fly past. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ 07-18-2003, 10:56 AM: Message edited by: Melusine ]
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Old 07-18-2003, 11:08 AM   #9
Memnoch
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Quote:
Originally posted by Melusine:

Mario, sorry to hear Taryn's abroad again! I'm sure you'll both manage fine, but still, it's not as much fun as having her near you is it? [img]graemlins/idontwanna.gif[/img] Hope the months'll fly past. [img]smile.gif[/img]
No it isn't, as you'd probably well know. [img]graemlins/awcrap.gif[/img] But it's a fact of life at this point, so may as well deal with it. Besides, absence does make the heart grow fonder. [img]smile.gif[/img]
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Old 07-18-2003, 03:18 PM   #10
Melusine
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I thought the saying went "Absynthe makes the tart grow fonder" [img]graemlins/showoff.gif[/img]

Anyway, yeah, I know what it's like and you're right, you cannot really do anything about it either way so easiest to just make the best of it. [img]smile.gif[/img]
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