The Purina diet...

Bungleau · 08-01-2006, 10:56 AM

From a friend...

I have a Golden Retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my ba**s and a car hit me.

Kyrvias · 08-01-2006, 12:05 PM

That's... beautiful. You're a hero to smart-asses everywhere.

Hivetyrant · 08-01-2006, 11:11 PM

That was awesome!

Sever · 08-02-2006, 12:19 AM

[img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] Nice.

Cloudbringer · 08-03-2006, 02:07 PM

HAHAHAHAHA.... I'll never look at the bag of purina cat food the same away again...glad I don't have a dog!

Bithron · 08-03-2006, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cloudbringer:
HAHAHAHAHA.... I'll never look at the bag of purina cat food the same away again...glad I don't have a dog!

I'm confused is it cat food or dog food? [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Felix The Assassin · 08-03-2006, 08:54 PM

No, no, you've got all 'different' "You have a Rottweiler". The very large gentleman behind the woman was listening intently. After the punch line, assistance was needed for liquid clean-up at check-out, and the gentleman also needed assistance departing the store due to his uncontrolable laughter. [img]smile.gif[/img]

08-01-2006, 10:56 AM	#1
Bungleau 40th Level Warrior Join Date: October 29, 2001 Location: Western Wilds of Michigan Posts: 11,752	From a friend... I have a Golden Retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my ba*s and a car hit me. __________________ B* Save Early, Save Often Save Before, Save After Two-Star General, Spelling Soldiers -+-+-+ Give 'em a hug one more time. It might be the last.

08-02-2006, 12:19 AM	#4
Sever Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: October 31, 2002 Location: Western Australia Age: 43 Posts: 3,293	[img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] Nice. __________________ Say say, oh playmate i cannot play with you my dolly's got the flu boo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo

08-03-2006, 02:07 PM	#5
Cloudbringer Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Upstate NY USA Posts: 19,737	HAHAHAHAHA.... I'll never look at the bag of purina cat food the same away again...glad I don't have a dog! __________________ "Don't take life for granted." Animal (may he rest in peace)

08-03-2006, 08:54 PM	#7
Felix The Assassin The Dreadnoks Join Date: September 27, 2001 Location: Orlando, FL Age: 61 Posts: 3,608	No, no, you've got all 'different' "You have a Rottweiler". The very large gentleman behind the woman was listening intently. After the punch line, assistance was needed for liquid clean-up at check-out, and the gentleman also needed assistance departing the store due to his uncontrolable laughter. [img]smile.gif[/img] __________________ The Lizzie Palmer Tribute Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty. John F. Kennedy 35th President of The United States The Last Shot Honor The Fallen Jesus died for our sins, and American Soldiers died for our freedom. If you don't stand behind our Soldiers, please feel free to stand in front of them.

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08-01-2006, 12:05 PM	#2
Kyrvias Lord Ao Join Date: May 15, 2005 Posts: 2,092	That's... beautiful. You're a hero to smart-asses everywhere.

08-01-2006, 11:11 PM	#3
Hivetyrant Jack Burton Join Date: August 24, 2002 Location: Aussie now in the US of A! Age: 37 Posts: 5,403	That was awesome!

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