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View Poll Results: What did you think?
Sweet 2 28.57%
WTF was that? 5 71.43%
you might want to read my comment 0 0%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 7. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 02-23-2008, 11:20 AM   #21
Gangrell
Iron Throne Cult
 

Join Date: January 2, 2003
Location: Big Castle in the Sky
Age: 31
Posts: 4,835
Default Re: Check This Out- PG13 rated.

Found it.

The Straight Jacket Romance

Needs of necessity begin to stab at my mind desperately
Sinister grins glimmer back as I stare at my reflection within
Judgment becomes stable, desires still remain insatiable
Set the stance, wrap myself in a strait jacket romance

“Oh picture, picture on each of the padded walls”
Spoke words fleeting as a morbid memory recalls
As the hinges creak, scripture of the medicine man reads
Ballpoint cutting failed results, neglecting insanity’s needs

“Hello Jospeh, how are we today?”
“Quite well doctor, have you seen Elizabeth?”
“Elizabeth is not here, don’t you remember?”
“Yes, I remember her.”


Loneliness sculpted her shape, vague colors remain
Flowing hair as crimson as the blood in his veins
Pain built her frame from angelic hips to her fingertips
His eyes close, remembering a kiss from her blossoming lips

“Joseph, you know you’re here to get better.”
“Better is a state of mind doctor.”
“A state of well being Joseph.”
“Perhaps.”


Professors in polished suits study men like vermin
Priests in white delivering insanity their medical sermon
Madmen wear white, elevated to think greater minds are alike
Sitting back, no longer pondering the past of his life

Smiling to himself as the steel door closes
But still cannot drown out impending voices
A picture falls and for a moment, his heart sank
Watching the image of his love fail when the page…

Was only blank.

©2005 Gangrell
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Old 02-24-2008, 10:14 PM   #22
Dron_Cah
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Join Date: March 2, 2003
Location: Kentucky
Age: 32
Posts: 2,637
Default Re: Check This Out- PG13 rated.

Hmm, I'm kinda surprised to say this, but I actually liked both what Vaskez and Gangrell posted. I've never really heard rap I felt I could respect before. The link you gave, Vaskez, was actually something that changed my mind. Mind you, I still don't really like rap, but it's very refreshing to see topics of substance as the subjects. So, in urban fashion, "peace, yo."
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Old 02-25-2008, 08:47 AM   #23
Vaskez
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Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
Default Re: Check This Out- PG13 rated.

lol Dron your view is so typical. Problem is that people only here the commercial trash that people dance to in clubs, with no depth and all bling. Among the underground stuff and some less underground like what I linked, there's loads of deep stuff. Here's some more on serious topics. Not official videos, but yeah check 'em out, they're both quite mellow as well

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAH_ixBhhEY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pqiqrnZE44

I'll check yours later Gangrene
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Too set in his ways to ever relate
If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay
But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave
Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray
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Old 02-25-2008, 03:41 PM   #24
Gangrell
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Join Date: January 2, 2003
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Default Re: Check This Out- PG13 rated.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APHm8DbYkL0

Can you really blame us Vaseline?
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Old 02-25-2008, 09:46 PM   #25
DrowArchmage
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Join Date: July 29, 2004
Location: Mt. Pleasant, MI
Age: 28
Posts: 1,400
Default Re: Check This Out- PG13 rated.

have you ever heard of a guy named B-Ham?
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Old 02-26-2008, 01:03 PM   #26
Vaskez
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Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
Default Re: Check This Out- PG13 rated.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gangrell View Post
Found it.

The Straight Jacket Romance

Needs of necessity begin to stab at my mind desperately
Sinister grins glimmer back as I stare at my reflection within
Judgment becomes stable, desires still remain insatiable
Set the stance, wrap myself in a strait jacket romance

“Oh picture, picture on each of the padded walls”
Spoke words fleeting as a morbid memory recalls
As the hinges creak, scripture of the medicine man reads
Ballpoint cutting failed results, neglecting insanity’s needs

“Hello Jospeh, how are we today?”
“Quite well doctor, have you seen Elizabeth?”
“Elizabeth is not here, don’t you remember?”
“Yes, I remember her.”


Loneliness sculpted her shape, vague colors remain
Flowing hair as crimson as the blood in his veins
Pain built her frame from angelic hips to her fingertips
His eyes close, remembering a kiss from her blossoming lips

“Joseph, you know you’re here to get better.”
“Better is a state of mind doctor.”
“A state of well being Joseph.”
“Perhaps.”


Professors in polished suits study men like vermin
Priests in white delivering insanity their medical sermon
Madmen wear white, elevated to think greater minds are alike
Sitting back, no longer pondering the past of his life

Smiling to himself as the steel door closes
But still cannot drown out impending voices
A picture falls and for a moment, his heart sank
Watching the image of his love fail when the page…

Was only blank.

©2005 Gangrell
ok, read it. I assume you wanted feedback. Overall, not bad. Good points: good imagery, good use of vocab, and my imagined tempo and rhymth of it wasn't bad. BUT, the rhyme scheme was lacking, needed more nice rhymes, yours were a bit lazy.


and no, aint heard of B-ham, but judging by his name, I woulnd't want to unless he's one of the few that have a really wack name but then surprise you with some sharp lyricism
__________________
Too set in his ways to ever relate
If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay
But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave
Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray
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Old 02-26-2008, 03:34 PM   #27
Gangrell
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Join Date: January 2, 2003
Location: Big Castle in the Sky
Age: 31
Posts: 4,835
Default Re: Check This Out- PG13 rated.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vaskez View Post
BUT, the rhyme scheme was lacking, needed more nice rhymes, yours were a bit lazy.
Yeah, was tryin to focus more on the word play. Thanks for the feed Vask.

B-ham? Care to elaborate DA?
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Old 02-26-2008, 09:25 PM   #28
DrowArchmage
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Join Date: July 29, 2004
Location: Mt. Pleasant, MI
Age: 28
Posts: 1,400
Default Re: Check This Out- PG13 rated.

Oh i would love to elaborate Gangrell. Im probably one of the few people that still remember him as Brian Hamillton. This guy got me into rap, we battled it out almost every week, and when he thought i was good enough, we recorded a few songs together. Now he moves between Detroit and Mt. Pleasant, trying to find a speck of a challenge here and there. We've even been to Flint once or twice.
check this crazy stuff out.



got da blade in hand time for bloodbath,
imma suicidal psychopath voters witness my wrath,
slicin grinkon apart then sit down and laugh,

Me + Challenge = loss for u
dis is lyrical math

dis aint even a challenge its da start of civil war,
u was beggin for a battle i couldnt ignore,
fans wantin better punches time to give em some more,
imma hip-hop soldier in da marine core,
im lethal like posion and deadly like cancer,
your name should be wrong cuz homie im da answer,
rap master when i spit on da mic its a natural disaster,
like hurricane katrina dis a nation wide tradegy,
ya crew mad at me takin ya rankin down drastically,
YO GRINKON U GON WIN DIS BATTLE SON...
im talkin sarcastically murderin tragically,
givin u a rap lesson so u can play academically,
legally beat ya dramatically defeat ya
i came ready to battle like *da reaper*
like da grim imma soul keeper
god put me here to be a street sweeper,
clean up all u bitches bury ya deeper,
my mind is eazin wit dro must be da creeper,
bumpin to dis beat comin from my speaker,
tearin ya ass apart its just how i treat ya,
i own ya dogg u attached to me sneaker,
u suprised im killin u along wit da reader,
u got no chance in dis battle man i just thru da heater...

$B-hAm$
__________________
"Love is an odd thing, as odd a thing there is"

-al'Lan Mandragoran, Last Lord of the Seven Towers

Last edited by DrowArchmage; 03-01-2008 at 03:51 PM.
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