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Old 08-23-2001, 04:12 PM   #31
Redblueflare
Galvatron
 

Join Date: May 9, 2001
Location: The backwoods in Georgia *sigh*
Age: 39
Posts: 2,151
I've always hated my stubborness, but I must admit my biggest weakness is the fact that I make friends so slowly. I just can't make RL friends as easily as most people can. Sure every once in awhile i'll meet someone I like instantly. Most of the time it takes me a week or two before I'll start calling you a friend. Just the way I am. *Sigh*

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Old 08-23-2001, 04:22 PM   #32
250
Horus - Egyptian Sky God
 

Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: either CA or MO
Age: 42
Posts: 2,674
Quote:
Originally posted by Kaz:
Er... i think stutterers have a bit more difficulty with that than normal shy people (even THINKING of doing something like that gets me into a panic. A friend of mine who also stutters was very proud of, even (unconsciously) bragged about answering the phone one day instead of having someone else do it. Heck, whenever I have to make a telephone call i think, word for word, what im going to say. And practice. That should tell you something of us - where normal people think oh god ill say something stupid stutterers think oh god ill stutter and everyone will look at me strangely and think im crazy. If youre nervous you stutter more and worse than when youre not. Still thanks for the suggestion, maybe ill be able to work myself up to do it one day. I never meant to write so much but since other people are revealing embarassing aspects of themselves i guess i will too.
dont worry brother

guess what? ppl have more dark (maybe nastier) secrets than we do
yes, i understand that even thinking of talking gives you goose, but guess what? that is VERY good because you can start by just thinking of it

in your brain, picture this scene:
for example, there is someone you really wanted to talk to, she is your schoolmate, and you never had chance to talk to her

Kaz (walk to her and start) "hi, how are you today?"
Lisa (pretend that to be her name) "oh not bad, yourself?" (it would be beter if she says 'my life is miserable' LOL)
Kaz "i am not bad, you ready for final?"
Lisa "oh i really hope i do, i have been studying so hard for it"
Kaz "yeah, me too, so which part do you find most difficult"
...
...

what you do is, re-play this scene over and over in your head, until you get used to the nervesness, and when you can relax and play it with yourself. then, go to her. for the first time, you might not be able to say anything, you might just walk by, smile and say hi, the conversation might not even go the way as you planned. i said this many times, but i will say it again:" whoever you talk to, if you ever plan to do it, DON'T run away" and also remember, those who MIGHT laugh at you have might have worse problems than you do.

last bit is my own experience: I found it very harmful to run away from a situation. for example, if i think my new roommate is cool, and i want to talk to him, then my thought goes "what if he laughs at me, what if he thinks he lives with crazy people... " you know what the subconcious message is? you are unconciously thinking: "I want to talk to him, i have to, i want to communicate..." this contradiction made stutters so stressful and nervess to even open their mouth. and when i am in this situation, i will talk. no matter how long ppl must wait, and how embarressed i might become. if i run away once, i will learn to run away again and again, then there will be no end of pain and fear.

and what is so good about it? all my friends are NICE people who do not see my problem as my flaw, but they see me as what person I am. they accept me as who i am, not shutting me out because I am a guy who cannot speak "normally"

that is the reward of courage, that is the wind that blows away sand and leaves gold. those friends we make and will make are the true friends for life. we are blessed


[This message has been edited by 250 (edited 08-23-2001).]

[This message has been edited by 250 (edited 08-23-2001).]
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Old 08-23-2001, 04:33 PM   #33
Kaz
Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom
 

Join Date: August 16, 2001
Location: UK
Posts: 2,891
Quote:
Originally posted by 250:
dont worry brother

guess what? ppl have more dark (maybe nastier) secrets than we do
yes, i understand that even thinking of talking gives you goose, but guess what? that is VERY good because you can start by just thinking of it

in your brain, picture this scene:
for example, there is someone you really wanted to talk to, she is your schoolmate, and you never had chance to talk to her

Kaz (walk to her and start) "hi, how are you today?"
Lisa (pretend that to be her name) "oh not bad, yourself?" (it would be beter if she says 'my life is miserable' LOL)
Kaz "i am not bad, you ready for final?"
Lisa "oh i really hope i do, i have been studying so hard for it"
Kaz "yeah, me too, so which part do you find most difficult"
...
...

what you do is, re-play this scene over and over in your head, until you get used to the nervesness, and when you can relax and play it with yourself. then, go to her. for the first time, you might not be able to say anything, you might just walk by, smile and say hi, the conversation might not even go the way as you planned. i said this many times, but i will say it again:" whoever you talk to, if you ever plan to do it, DON'T run away" and also remember, those who MIGHT laugh at you have might have worse problems than you do.

last bit is my own experience: I found it very harmful to run away from a situation. for example, if i think my new roommate is cool, and i want to talk to him, then my thought goes "what if he laughs at me, what if he thinks he lives with crazy people... " you know what the subconcious message is? you are unconciously thinking: "I want to talk to him, i have to, i want to communicate..." this contradiction made stutters so stressful and nervess to even open their mouth. and when i am in this situation, i will talk. no matter how long ppl must wait, and how embarressed i might become. if i run away once, i will learn to run away again and again, then there will be no end of pain and fear.

and what is so good about it? all my friends are NICE people who do not see my problem as my flaw, but they see me as what person I am. they accept me as who i am, not shutting me out because I am a guy who cannot speak "normally"

that is the reward of courage, that is the wind that blows away sand and leaves gold. those friends we make and will make are the true friends for life. we are blessed


[This message has been edited by 250 (edited 08-23-2001).]

[This message has been edited by 250 (edited 08-23-2001).]
thanks 250
Ill try it but it will take some time. Maybe we should open a new thread for the stutterers in this forum (are there any others? If yes please say something) because this is getting off the subject and it might be boring to non-stutterers who cannot understand the inherent fear of speech that comes with stuttering, at least to all stutterers i know it does. Sorry about taking up so much thread space Larry.
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Old 08-23-2001, 04:35 PM   #34
SSJ4Sephiroth
Beholder
 

Join Date: May 4, 2001
Location: The Outside Looking In
Age: 36
Posts: 4,361
hmm... the single most prominent weakness that ill never overcome? not a craving? okay, there goes about half my list but...
my urge to insult people who try to blame things on me or start fights or something... o yeah, i almost forgot my impatience! cant stand it if somebody takes too long to do something if its a menial task! i usually begin yelling at the person or just poking him on the back every 3/4 of a second or so. annoyance is a better motivator than youd think...

------------------
It's simple. Once the Planet is hurt, it gathers Spirit Energy to heal the injury. The amount of energy gathered depends on the size of the injury...What would happen if there was an injury that threatened the very life of the Planet? Think how much energy would be gathered! Ha, ha, ha. And at the center of that injury, wil be me. All that boundless energy will be mine. By merging with the energy of the Planet, I will be come a new life form, a new existence. Melding with the Planet, I will cease to exist as I am now. Only to be reborn as a 'God' to rule over every living soul.


Super Sephiroth, battle co-ordionator and defender of the HADB clan.

[This message has been edited by SSJ4Sephiroth (edited 08-23-2001).]
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Old 08-23-2001, 05:06 PM   #35
Moni
Guest
 

Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally posted by SSJ4Sephiroth:
my impatience! cant stand it if somebody takes too long to do something if its a menial task! i usually begin yelling at the person or just poking him on the back every 3/4 of a second or so. annoyance is a better motivator than youd think...

ROFL! Yeah, I can admit to being impatient with people who take forever to do simple tasks...I've never thought of poking them in the back every 3/4 of a second or so though! I just might give that one a try!






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