Lily's famous YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN PLAYING TOO MUCH WHEN:

[Wyvern]

Lily the Ranger - I stumbled into the BGII forum by mistake and saw a posting (insert BGII for WW) with this subject. Oh, the answers had me laughing (I don't even know BOO). So I thought it might be fun here as well. My suggestion: . . . if you attempt to cast Spirit Eye to find your car keys. . . . if someone has to tell you were the switch that turns on your lights are. . . . if you suddenly feel faint, grab some stranger and bite them on the neck.

dcch ... you find yourself trying to cast illuminate at 3 am on the way to the terlit~ dh

thoon ... If you wonder how many hit points that guy on the street has.

Davros - If you come to a ladder and laugh, scorning its' use, throwing youself over the precipice, screaming Geronimo and readying your Healing Realm spell. If you go to pick up that piece of paper on the floor and instead find youself doing a merry waltz while humming the the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. If you come across a perfectly good ship, and decide it's pointless using this thing, how big could a sea be, I'll just swim.

xenotoca - when you are afraid to go into the garden in case there are Amazonian mantraps out there. when you invite 5 friend to join you on your horse for a ride. when you dont bother to pick up anything you drop saying dont worry it will have dissapered when I come back. when you go to the local town hall and ask for a quest. when you start reading and answering threads like this on the W&W board.

PuterGeek - If it's 3 am and you jump every time a snake appears in the temple.

Lily the Ranger - when you finally get around to shaving your legs, you say you are cutting through the "Forgotten Forest" and wonder if there is a place on the map of the same name. when you have renamed all the pets in the house to match characters in the game. when you think you never have to eat or sleep. when you ask your significant other to wrap themselves in saranwrap, shave their heads and bit you.

Sazerac ...when you refer to your boss as "Cet Ude D'ua Khan" under your breath... Sazerac (great thread, Lily!)

Scronan - You accidently say "Toad village is for TOADS!" at work and wonder why your co-workers are staring at you... You keep saying "Goodnight Ukabu" before going off to sleep... If you find yourself at the supermarket in the booze aisle, and wonder where the "Boogre Brew" is.... Scronan

Davros - Someone walks up and offers you the opportunity to join the living dead by becoming a vampire - and you say "Why the hell not". Someone asks you a simple question requiring a simple answer and you say "Yes Yes Yes". You swear that the cute little muppet on the kiddies program just said "Yah pays fa pies, You dead yet hairless?" Da polytyshuns shounds likes da Boogres. A perfect stranger (let's call him Kol) comes up to you gibbering "Don't go in there, the horror, the evil, the most vile satanic practices you could imagine", and you think "That sounds like a lark, got me bottle of red, where's the doorbell".

Drukus - When you realise that you should be studying for your Exam t'row, but your posting on the W&W forum instead.... Oh S*#T... i have an exam t'row! Drukus

Wyvern - LOL!!! Great thread!!! When you expect to find Tub Piranha when you take a bath. You try to click on your car to get in or out. When you plan your next vacation booking no inn/hotel because you can't rest there anyways. You don't open your Christmas presents because you know they will all be rusty swords. You give everyone rusty swords for Christmas. You try to ID the items in your junk drawer. (and succeed) You try to light the yulelog or plum pudding with Incinerate. Wyv

Davros - Oh, time for one more before going to bed - it's the turn to pick on the Nymphs. You KNOW that you are playing W&W too much when some bare chested, huge breasted babe walks right up to you with a giggle, and runs her hands all over your body, and the only thing you can think of by way of response is to caste a quick flamedrop spell while.... ARRRRRGGGGHHHH - Man, this game has gone too far, beyond all human nature - quick, I need to get back in touch with reality.

Lily the Ranger - Wyv! You have escaped! When you take a pick ax to the the mounds in the cat box because there is a chance there might be a gem in there. When you unscrew the bulbs on the Christmas tree when no one is looking, ID the red ones as rubies and run down to Zales in hopes of getting some cash. When all your breadsticks are formed in the shape of ankhs and you try to "invoke" them. when you are playing your game instead of working because you ?need something?. *these pirated from BGII* when you throw away all your keys because you are a master at picking locks. when you click on people to see if they have something important to say.

tritone ... when you, while watching the Jabba/desert scene of Return of the Jedi, scream "Amazoni Mantrap!" at the sight of the sarlaac (the monster with the tentacles and maw which Jabba was going to feed Luke/Han/etc to). Hey, it actually happened to me
RavenW ... you try to use the "Tusk of Lust" on your girlfriend "hoping" she'll give you another "Evil Element" ... you start shopping around Filenes for that perfect leopard print loin-cloth for your "Barbarian". ... you go to Italy and try to cast Stone to Flesh on the statue of David. ... you try to claim "Identify Items Fees" as a deduction on your taxes.

Jungwirsch ... you go to your fitness center and ask the attendant how much it will be to train your strength to level 18 ... you get detention for repeatedly pestering your biology teacher about what one can do with a rat skull ... you have the "local weirdo" reputation at your favourite porn shop after asking the salesperson about the defense value of that leather bra ... you're barred from your local department store after beating up the clerk with a lisp, shouting "This is for Gareth!" at the top of your lungs May the farce be with you

Scronan - You stop to pick up some change on the ground and start spinning in circles and fall off the sidewalk. Then you yell "A POX ON THEE, DWB!" You wonder if the goth chic that your dating would dress up like Lysandra, and possibly breathe ice. You buy your girlfriend a plate mail bra and tell her it will give her full body defence and make her look sexy at the same time. You sit in the theatre watching Dungeons and Dragons yelling "MAGMA BOMB! MAGMA BOMMMMMMMMMB!" Everytime you are near a graveyard, you look over your shoulder in case there might be a walking undead. You should up at your Karate dojo and ask your sensei to teach you Tiger Strike. You wander the markets in China Town wondering where you can find rat pie. You find yourself running in and out of hotels, hoping it will make the 20 bucks in your wallet multiply a few times. Scronan

Mammawlin - Your daughter who lives 2500 miles away sends a message saying "Hey mom are you online?" and you reply "Yes, Ukabu, but you get to work, mom too busy right now reading thread from Lily the Ranger in WW forum!" LOL

ExtremistBruce ... you're at a department meeting and you read the same status report to every single person individually.

carg - you're in a meeting, the vote goes 6 to 1 against you, and you say: "you're outnumbered. Don't be a fool or you'll pay dearly." Great thread Lily.

Lily the Ranger - Thanks! I am having such fun and my family gathers around the computer to read the latest. Need laughter, laughter good. . . . when you finish a project and expect experience points. . . . when while out Christmas shopping, you wonder if you can cut down the toadish fellow blocking the aisle without alerting the other shoppers. . . . when you believe you actually KNOW how to swim. (Oops, did I save?) . . . when you make voodoo dolls with your children's playdough. . . . when you look at your coworkers and think: "He'd make a wonderful Ratling." . . . when you put coins in a vending machine and expect: A) incense, B) treasure, C) wandering monsters. . . . when you are miffed at the cashier for ignoring you high level merchant skill and charging you full price.

Archimedes ...when you are considering changing careers, but decide to wait for a few more months because you are just about to "level". ...when, just as you try to broadjump a puddle, you look UP for extra distance. ...when you need to move stuff around to fit it in your backpack, but you don't want to take anything out because it might "disappear". Fun thread. Enjoyed the posts so far.

Jungwirsch ... you're in town for a business trip, drop your laptop clumsily while walking, and the thought shoots through your head "Oh no, it's gone for good!"

Jungwirsch ... when they stop to talk to you at work after you assaulted your advisor Sheila the day she wore that black dress without pockets, mumbling something about "pickpocketing a tusk of lust" May the farce be with you

Henry.ch ... when a beutiful woman (or man if you're female) walks toward you and the only thing you can say is 'Mmh, new plaything'. ... when you're sitting in an arena chanting 'Boogers! Boogers! WHAHAHA!'

Drukus ....When you walk down the street trying to figure out if the people are friend or foe, but your cursor wont turn red or blue! ....You find your self spending too much time thinking about how many Exp you would get from killing family members! "Hey... they are only NPC's, I wont need them later..."

teefha ... when you drop your key after opening the door... teefha

Lily the Ranger - when you check for roaches before using the elevator. when you believe you are superior to others because: they were born naked, you came into the world scantily clothed and clutching 200 gp. when you receive a piece of jewelry for a gift and immediately wonder: how many charges does it have, how much can I get for this at the pawn shop, is it cursed?

carg ...when you drop a pack of milk, and think: restore. Oh no, quit, ehhh, quit again, ehhh oh yes, load.

Serath ...you have to activate a series of levers and drop a serpent coin into a slot to gain access to your house. ...you get upset when city hall won't pay you a reward for collecting skeleton skulls. ...you keep a spider egg press in your kitchen drawer, for those special occasions. Serath

PIMP - you know when your playing to much when you refer to your d--k as mavin instead of what your women calls it.
the mick ...you start throwing kitchen knives at your dog, who kinda likes like a worgur... ...you don't burn any incense, because you just never know when you'll be going to the serpent temple... ...you run at even the thought of an amozomi mantrap... ...you read through the strategy guide and think, hell i could write a better version(oh wait...)... ...you honestly believe your shower can regenerate your hit points...

wolpak ...you are standing on the street and everyone is moving around doing their own thing, but as soon as someone approaches you, everyone stops and waits to see what you do before they continue. ...your relative who passed away was buried with a swords and a shield because if they ever DID come alive, they would need something to kill you with ...you walk down the hall in your office building and you hear someone one floor up talking to you as you pass by ...you break everything you come across to see if it has anything inside, and tell people that it is ok because you can still stack them even though they are broken ...you skip the ferry back to NY cause your horse can swim the Hudson just as fast ...someone stops to ask you for help, and then runs away from you when ever you try to talk to them ...you realize your college fraternity is an order of monks as they both make you take off all your clothes for two days and run around in circles

freudianslip .. you try to cast flamedrop on your hamburger patty for lunch. .. you enjoy four bean burritos at Taco Bell™ and are afraid of accidentally casting a stink cloud on your friends.

Wyvern - I love this thread!!!! you won't enter an elevator if 5 people entered before you. you wonder if you can get the bank teller to cash the same check more than once if you can just pickpocket it. you start playing idols in geometric patterns around your library and expect a secret entrance to appear. you start wishing you could be the dragon. you wish that they'd put out a game level editor so that you and all the great friends you've made here could make some new places to explore. (Welcome to LilyLand) you try to carry the Boogres to the Aku idol and force them to touch it. you spend time finding out all the things you can climb on top of (can you take chests and crates out of Skull Castle to see if you can get up on top of the skull?). you want to repair the burnt out house so you could move in and teach the game to "rest". Wyv

Karnara - Playing too long??? You mean it's a game? I have heard of twins, triplets and I think there are even octets... but what is up with these highland rogues?? There must be a million and they all look alike. I told one of them his mother must have been a slut he hit for 2 points of damage. I can put Zenmaster on my resume right?? Do you think that Ben Johnson has a SHIFT key?

Lily the Ranger - when you smash the barrels at the deli and find pickles. when you are afraid of windmills. when you insist on doing everything yourself to get more experience points. when you can explain the location of quest items but cannot find your daughter's Algebra test. Is it me or does the scourge o'the sea look like John Malkovich?

ExtremistBruce ... you understand every single one of the jokes in this thread!

[skywalker]

YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN PLAYING TOO MUCH WHEN:

You are at the bakery, at the back of line, and you yell out "Chit, Chit, Ya pays for pies!"

Mark

[skywalker]

YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN PLAYING TOO MUCH WHEN:
You finally get to the front of the line at that same bakery and you ask for rat pie. (It's kinda stinky,but there ain't none better!)

Mark

[FanPyre]

When you get beat up pretty bad and you crawl to your local church and ask for healing.
When your arrested for mutilating bats in a nearby cave.
When your doctor asks you why you havent eaten or slept in days and you reply that its ok, your a lvl 14 priest.

When you hear song you have never heard before on the radio and could swear that the lyrics were "Dibby Dibby Die!"
; )
Moni

(Disturbed doing "Stupify"...The words are actually "Live and Never Die!")

Shut Up!
; )

[Sazerac]

Wonderful revisiting, Wyvern! Thanks!

Some more from the wanderings of a lonely mind...

When you try to cast "Vanish" on the traffic jam in front of you so you can get to your meeting on time...
When you get to an office building, and the elevator doors are closing, you grab a cockroach and throw it in the door to make the elevator come back down again..
You scour the Friday "Guide" section in your cities newspaper for restaurant reviews that feature "Sauteed Monkey Paws"...
A midget asks you if you want to make a fortune and you kill him so you can get a new Role...
You find yourself wanting to use a red hot poker on the clown in the next cubicle to get him to cooperate on the project...
You go to a local rockshow, buy all the crystals you can find, and use them on every hole in your walls to see if they open up secret doors or elevators...


-Sazerac (who realizes, after reading this, how many wonderful posters are no longer here . . . )

[Wyvern]

when you go to the Egyptian room in your local art museum and the guards haul you away for rearranging decorative obelisks.

when you try to find someone at the beach to make you masks and breathers from the shells you've collected.

when you think you can use a walking stick to unlock a door.

when you ask a particularly long winded salesman if he is related to Sebastio.

Wyv

[skywalker]

When you have no money for lunch and you seriously thinking about casting "Blood to Gold"!
Ouch!

Mark

[Wyvern]

OFF TOPIC - Saz - yes there are a lot of wonderful posters missing, many who never even posted to this thread. I try to keep in contact with some of them and plan, when the new board IS up and running, to see if I can't convince them to drop in and pay us a visit! I miss them!!

ON TOPIC:

when you worry that if you use the gold cheat the IRS will find out.

when you wonder what the spandex content is on all the clothing in W&W.

Wyv

[FanPyre]

When You are afraid to use an elevator in case you get crush damage.
When you get stopped at customs for carrying an assortment of metal stabbing weapons.
When you insist that the assistant in the clothes shop should place tags on all items showing %damage and AC bonus.