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Old 03-08-2003, 07:33 AM   #1
Charlie
Lord Ao
 

Join Date: March 3, 2001
Location: London, England
Age: 30
Posts: 2,021
I shot a man Today


I shot a man today
A no one, someone out for fun,
said the wrong thing and met my gun,
now he's in the gutter and I'm on the run.

I shot a man today
Straight down in flames,
done nothing wrong but asked some names,
Wish I'd used my head, not lost my brains.

I shot a man today
Where do I go, the plot is lost and there's no show,
the lights and the candles have lost their glow,
the voice in the head says "told you so",
the youth are lost yet they don't know,
their bodies enabled but minds disabled,
thoughts all twisted like an old ships cables,
lost in the search for lie spun fables,
angry faces across dirty tables,
and screams and shouts and shots ringout,
who's the thug, who's the lout,
what's this violence all about,
mental or physical it's all the same,
always looking to pass the blame,
there is no winner in this ■■■■■■■ game,
you and I are just the same...
Just we don't always see it

I shot a man today
No fun, no happiness,
I shot him through my mental uselessness,
uncontrollable compulsiveness,
no prayers, no thoughts.... no goodnight, God bless,
the man was shot because he was a mess.

I shot a man today
because he couldn't see,
the man that I shot today...
.......... was me.

[ 03-21-2003, 06:07 PM: Message edited by: Charlie ]
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Old 03-08-2003, 07:37 AM   #2
The Hierophant
Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom
 

Join Date: May 10, 2002
Location: Dunedin, New Zealand.
Age: 41
Posts: 2,860
Those are some fantastic lyrics.
Who wrote that?
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Old 03-08-2003, 07:41 AM   #3
Charlie
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Join Date: March 3, 2001
Location: London, England
Age: 30
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I did.
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Old 03-08-2003, 07:47 AM   #4
wellard
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Join Date: November 1, 2002
Location: Australia ..... G\'day!
Posts: 6,123
read it twice charlie. very good. [img]graemlins/awesomework.gif[/img]
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Old 03-08-2003, 07:47 AM   #5
The Hierophant
Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom
 

Join Date: May 10, 2002
Location: Dunedin, New Zealand.
Age: 41
Posts: 2,860
Quote:
Originally posted by Charlie:
I did.
Well Charlie, I'm impressed.
Do you intend these lines to be sung (ie: in a band), or is it more along the lines of poetry? Because they work incredibly well either way [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]
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Old 03-08-2003, 07:53 AM   #6
johnny
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Join Date: April 15, 2002
Location: Utrecht The Netherlands
Age: 58
Posts: 16,981
Having fun in the pub Charlie ?
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Old 03-08-2003, 07:59 AM   #7
Charlie
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Join Date: March 3, 2001
Location: London, England
Age: 30
Posts: 2,021
well I wrote it a few days ago. Was inspired for some unknown reason. Had to get it written "there and then".

Hierophant....dunno, haven't thought too hard on it. I know I own the copyright to it but haven't thought much. Oddly, I write my poetry with musical lyrics half in my mind....weird no?

Thanks for the words, pleased you like it.
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Old 03-08-2003, 08:04 AM   #8
The Hierophant
Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom
 

Join Date: May 10, 2002
Location: Dunedin, New Zealand.
Age: 41
Posts: 2,860
Quote:
Originally posted by Charlie:
Oddly, I write my poetry with musical lyrics half in my mind....weird no?
Not weird at all. Whatever keeps that creative muse of yours flowing.
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Old 03-08-2003, 10:06 AM   #9
Attalus
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Join Date: November 26, 2001
Location: Texas
Age: 75
Posts: 8,167
Light Bulb

I liike it, Charlie. Thanks for sharing. [img]graemlins/awesomework.gif[/img]
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Old 03-08-2003, 10:10 AM   #10
/)eathKiller
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Join Date: January 5, 2002
Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba
Age: 38
Posts: 6,043
man... they aughta' make a poetry/free writing forum so folks like you wont have their stuff bumped around so often... Great stuff [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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