"I love my job, I love my job ..."

Micah Foehammer · 02-02-2004, 02:55 PM

What follows is a story that was sent to my by a friend .... [img]smile.gif[/img] ================================================== ============
Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to The X, 103.2 on your FM dial in Ft Wayne IN, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: we have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do when I get to the bottom and start working is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for 2 days because my butthole was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt!

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job..."

Chewbacca · 02-02-2004, 03:27 PM

LOL

Instant Classic!!! [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

Stratos · 02-02-2004, 03:34 PM

ROFL! Ouch!

slicer15 · 02-02-2004, 03:35 PM

ROFLMAO!!! That's bad! Poor guy, all his collegues laughing too...

InsaneBane · 02-02-2004, 03:53 PM

I am glad I am sitting on a chair when I am working

[img]graemlins/greenbounce.gif[/img]
Insane

T/-/alali · 02-02-2004, 05:34 PM

ouch! *never complains about school again*

Bozos of Bones · 02-02-2004, 07:00 PM

I love school. School is good. There are no jellyfish in th school. It is safe. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Nerull · 02-02-2004, 11:37 PM

Lol...That's a good one!

LordKathen · 02-03-2004, 12:11 AM

Ya sure, but do you know how much those guys get paid?
Anyway, that would suck... [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

Jorath Calar · 02-03-2004, 03:08 AM

Kathen... nothing... is worth it for having a Jellyfish up your butt
At least they could not pay me enough for that... ever
[img]smile.gif[/img]

02-02-2004, 02:55 PM	#1
Micah Foehammer Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: November 15, 2001 Location: Asheville, NC Posts: 3,253	What follows is a story that was sent to my by a friend .... [img]smile.gif[/img] ================================================== ============ Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to The X, 103.2 on your FM dial in Ft Wayne IN, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest. Needless to say, she won. Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: we have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do when I get to the bottom and start working is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for 2 days because my butthole was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt! Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job..." __________________ “Every tavern’s an opportunity, I say.”

02-02-2004, 03:27 PM	#2
Chewbacca Zartan Join Date: July 18, 2001 Location: America, On The Beautiful Earth Age: 50 Posts: 5,373	LOL Instant Classic!!! [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] __________________ Support Local Music and Record Stores! Got Liberty?

02-02-2004, 03:34 PM	#3
Stratos Vampire Join Date: January 29, 2003 Location: Sweden Age: 43 Posts: 3,888	ROFL! Ouch! __________________ Nothing is impossible, it's just a matter of probability.

02-02-2004, 03:53 PM	#5
InsaneBane Baaz Draconian Join Date: November 5, 2002 Location: Denmark Age: 57 Posts: 724	I am glad I am sitting on a chair when I am working [img]graemlins/greenbounce.gif[/img] Insane __________________ Ko-founder of the SCFC(TM) Korporation.

02-02-2004, 05:34 PM	#6
T/-/alali Baaz Draconian Join Date: September 8, 2002 Location: Cornelius,NC Age: 36 Posts: 700	ouch! never complains about school again __________________ I am the Ferret king, master of the hordes, allied to Someguy\'s mighty pinguins, we will soon rule the world!

02-02-2004, 03:35 PM	#4
slicer15 Symbol of Cyric Join Date: November 12, 2002 Location: Banstead, Southeast England Age: 37 Posts: 1,162	ROFLMAO!!! That's bad! Poor guy, all his collegues laughing too...

02-02-2004, 07:00 PM	#7
Bozos of Bones Apophis Join Date: July 29, 2003 Location: The Underdark cavern of Zagreb Age: 37 Posts: 4,679	I love school. School is good. There are no jellyfish in th school. It is safe. [img]smile.gif[/img] __________________ MAKE LOVE, NOT SPAM!

02-02-2004, 11:37 PM	#8
Nerull Lord Ao Join Date: May 17, 2001 Location: San Antonio, Texas, USA Age: 53 Posts: 2,069	Lol...That's a good one! __________________ [img]\"ubb/noncgi/smiles/new/ghoul.gif\" alt=\" - \" /><br /><br />\"The middle class pays all of the taxes, does all of the work.<br />The lower class exists just to scare the middle class.\"<br />-George Carlin

02-03-2004, 12:11 AM	#9
LordKathen Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: September 15, 2002 Location: Kennewick, WA Age: 52 Posts: 3,166	Ya sure, but do you know how much those guys get paid? Anyway, that would suck... [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] __________________

02-03-2004, 03:08 AM	#10
Jorath Calar Harper Join Date: October 6, 2001 Location: Iceland Posts: 4,706	Kathen... nothing... is worth it for having a Jellyfish up your butt At least they could not pay me enough for that... ever [img]smile.gif[/img]

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