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Old 10-25-2001, 09:08 AM   #11
Byronas
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I hate Hercules too mitsos! The series destroys my country's mythology! It says things that Hercules didn't knew that they will happen!

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Old 10-25-2001, 11:07 AM   #12
Memnoch
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Join Date: February 28, 2001
Location: Boston/Sydney
Posts: 11,771
Quote:
Originally posted by Warby:
Did anyone else think that dungeons and dragons film was crap. The dragons were very impressive but the film was just naff. I really didn't like it. I quite like herculies too. "Lord of the rings" is coming out soon and they better not of messed it up. Gandalf the great should be pretty powerfull. And I want to see the ring wraiths.

Warby

The D&D film was a load of bollocks. This review from Mr Cranky summed up my thoughts perfectly so I'll just cut and paste it.

In the review that ran in my local newspaper, Bob Thomas of the Associated Press describes Dungeons & Dragons as a board game. This sort of comment should give people pause in thinking of film critics as journalists, which is a word I consider an insult in the first place. Journalists are basically the scum who couldn't make it in the real writing classes. However, imagining that couchbound, donut-inhaling Bob couldn't even lift up his hand to spend all of five seconds to find out that D&D isn't a board game really brings new meaning to the words "lazy, fat, haven't seen my genitals without a handheld mirror in the last twenty years, bastard." You know, if you're going to belittle something, get your facts straight. As we all know, Dungeons & Dragons is played with life-size dolls by participants wearing adult diapers.
Apparently, the director of this film, Courtney Solomon, has spent the last ten years of his life trying to get this film made. Given the timelines of his little crusade, one wonders whether his next project, "Pet Rock: The Movie" will ever get off the ground. This movie contains writing so bad that it forces normal people to curse God for allowing human communication to even exist. The acting is so bad that one assumes that the actors were all separated from each other and forced to stand in front of a green screen and pretend there was stuff going on. This combination is the Hollywood equivalent of farting into an open flame -- it all seems kind of harmless until you realize the effect feels exactly like being sodomized by the Heat Miser.

Do actors even read scripts anymore? How did Jeremy Irons end up in this thing? He plays the evil Profion, who's trying to take over Empress Savina's (Thora Birch) kingdom by getting control of dragons. Almost every emotional scene Irons does is accompanied by putting both hands up in the air and waving them around for dramatic effect. Thora Birch is so bad that I actually felt glad for her having taken off her shirt in "American Beauty", else this would certainly spell the end of her career. She runs around cooing about making everybody in her kingdom equal and then, when she wins the fight in the end (big surprise), she pronounces everybody equal. "You're all equal," she says. For his part, Justin Whalin, who plays the hero-thief Ridley, uses the dramatic head turn to simulate despair as well as any porno actor who has ever walked the planet. When things get really bad for him, he drops to his knees and screams "Noooooo!" at the top of his lungs, as though he'd just discovered that somebody had taken a dump in his Chalupa.

Funny, that was exactly the same reaction I had when I heard this movie was coming out.



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Old 10-25-2001, 12:45 PM   #13
Desuma_Malevois
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Quote:
Originally posted by Byronas:
I hate Hercules too mitsos! The series destroys my country's mythology! It says things that Hercules didn't knew that they will happen!

Mitsos and Byronas, if you two weren't from Greece I would say, "Lighten up! It's SUPPOSED to be nonsense"; however, I do see y'all's point of view. Actually, I'm surprised they show it in Greece at all. When "Hogan's Heroes" first came out they wouldn't show it in Germany (because the Germans never got to win), and "Dudley Doright" was VERY unpopular in Canada (because of the disrespectful way it portrayed Mounties).



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Guerilla gourmet, and former proprieter of the KFA.
 
Old 10-25-2001, 12:51 PM   #14
Epona
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Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: London, England
Age: 52
Posts: 5,164
Quote:
Originally posted by Byronas:
I hate Hercules too mitsos! The series destroys my country's mythology! It says things that Hercules didn't knew that they will happen!

I completely agree with you!
I did my degree in archaeology and Greek and Roman history. I cannot sit down and watch Hercules or Xena - although I think the production isn't bad. My bf gets really annoyed with me - he can't watch in peace because I sit there going 'how the hell did CAESAR get into this, for crying out loud'.

Yes, I know the shows are supposed to be fun, but it is a people's culture being messed with.

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Epona of The Laughing Hyenas
Proud winner of the 'Most Useless Post 250 Has Ever Seen' Award 2001. "I'd just like to thank my friends and family, without whom none of this would have been possible..."

[This message has been edited by Epona (edited 10-25-2001).]
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