things people just don't do

[250]

first of all, thank you Melusine, Moni, Sazerac, Cloudy, Lord Shield, LoA, Adam, Hiram Sedai, Yorick, F (sowwy), Alex, Rikard, Ladyzekke, Epona, Conan, Lifetime, Link, Wah, and whoever helped me (I am sowwy I cannot remember all the names here, but I thank you all)

now things come to a critical point, I think I am gonna share with you guys a little bit, and let some of us here (who are in similar situation with me) to learn some experience

Now, as some of you know, I went to San Francisco for my friend's birthday, 5 hours on the plane.

We had a nice time on friday, and we decided to meet again on Saturday at the store where she works at 3:00pm. Then she decided to quit her job all of a sudden (on Saturday) we had no means of communication, so I went to the store on time, and waited for her for FIVE hours, 2 hours in the wind

what pisses me off is, she DID came to the store at about 5:00pm, and she didn't go in because she 'didn't want to see the manager and explain everything'

After I told her I am pissed off at what she did, she said "I am not gonna blame myself for this, I did go look for you, but you were in the store."

NOW that is over the line, woman. I flew all the way to see you, and you couldn't walk through that door? that seriously got me wondering how much she really cares about me? crap, I love her, but I am not gonna waste my love on a selfish person who doesn't give a damn about me! what the hell does she think I am?

I am just gonna back off for now, and observe, REALLY observe her. I am giving her a second chance, and if she ever does the same thing again, I am gonna tell her "This is the second time you do this to me, the next time you do it, then it is over"

you got to teach people how to treat you, you know? you can love, but you cannot spoil!

Originally posted by 250: you got to teach people how to treat you, you know? you can love, but you cannot spoil!

You're right but remember you can't make anyone else love you.

It sounds to me like this girl needs some self examination and self love. If she doesn't have it, it is impossible for her to give it away, and most unfortunate for you because I know how much you care for her, it is impossible for you to keep loving her except from a distance if she continues to treat you with such little regard.

I'll keep praying for you, my friend, and her too!
Much love, many hugs & soulfelt peace




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The best thing about karma is that you create your own.

Pets Need Love Too

[250]

Originally posted by Moni: It sounds to me like this girl needs some self examination and self love.

Moni, thank you once more! so helpful and caring... sigh

but I got a question, how did you know that she needs some self examination and self love? I mean, could you explain why? thanks

Originally posted by 250: Moni, thank you once more! so helpful and caring... sigh but I got a question, how did you know that she needs some self examination and self love? I mean, could you explain why? thanks

Well the self-examination should come in where she is treating you with disregard and not listening to how you feel. That is selfishness that she doesn't need to put to use as it is not good for anything.

As far as needing self- love goes, I can only go by what you have told me about her compared to myself when I used to be as non-caring toward men who honestly loved me and wanted to be a part of my life. I'm guessing and making assumptions based on how she treats you and how she reacts to you and others. I really know very little of her, not enough to say that is the definite answer for her, but it was for me.
Do you think I am in the ball park?

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The best thing about karma is that you create your own.

Pets Need Love Too

[This message has been edited by Moni (edited 10-31-2001).]

[250]

Originally posted by Moni: I can only go by what you have told me about her compared to myself when I used to be as non-caring toward men who honestly loved me and wanted to be a part of my life. I'm guessing and making assumptions based on how she treats you and how she reacts to you and others. I really know very little of her, not enough to say that is the definite answer for her, but it was for me. Do you think I am in the ball park?

you hit the mark there, Moni
she cares about me... well, at least she showed that when we are together, but how much? I don't know

that is not important, what I wish to know is, how did you walk out that shadow? (you dont have to share everything, just a basic idea is fine)

thank you very much

**hugs** (I need one)

Originally posted by 250: what I wish to know is, how did you walk out that shadow? (you dont have to share everything, just a basic idea is fine) thank you very much **hugs** (I need one)

You are very welcome.
I saw the light when I studied Psychology and learned how to separate problems that did not belong to me from those that did. I had carried around a lot of self-loathing because of my mother and sister's hatred of me all my life.
Growing up for me, meant recognizing their problems and not hanging on to them as if they were mine. Then I worked on the areas where I had failed myself by thinking I was the loser they had led me to believe I was.
It will take time and patience for the both of you if you are going to stick with her while she tries. If she wants to move forward, she can, but she has to apply the positive and absolutelylet go of the negative.
I am so sorry for cutting out on you right now and heading for bed, but I do have a really big test in the morning and I need to sneak in some morning time to try to be prepared. (I have a Math class at 7:00 too ugh lol).
I'll keep in touch with you and keep praying and hoping for the best.
*hugs*




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The best thing about karma is that you create your own.

Pets Need Love Too

[250]

Originally posted by Moni: You are very welcome. I saw the light when I studied Psychology and learned how to separate problems that did not belong to me from those that did. I had carried around a lot of self-loathing because of my mother and sister's hatred of me all my life. Growing up for me, meant recognizing their problems and not hanging on to them as if they were mine. Then I worked on the areas where I had failed myself by thinking I was the loser they had led me to believe I was. It will take time and patience for the both of you if you are going to stick with her while she tries. If she wants to move forward, she can, but she has to apply the positive and absolutelylet go of the negative. I am so sorry for cutting out on you right now and heading for bed, but I do have a really big test in the morning and I need to sneak in some morning time to try to be prepared. (I have a Math class at 7:00 too ugh lol). I'll keep in touch with you and keep praying and hoping for the best. *hugs*

rest rest rest!!

true love will find strength to grow and carry on
I am not backing out on her, that will only prove her negative opinions

dear Moni, sleep well

[250]

sigh, I hate music... nevermind, I will keep my love for her...

[TheDutkanator]

Honestly man, music is one of the worst things you could do for yourself whenever there's a doubt about a relationship. There are way too many songs that focus on negatives in this department. The positive ones can even hurt just as bad because it makes you want the good things they have. I suggest a good RPG, action or comdey movie, or a book. Lose yourself in it and forget about life. When you're finished, you'll be able to look at this in a better perspective with a clear mind. Never try to analyze the situation or make decisions when you still have strong emotions about it. And hey, it could be worse, right?

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Let's get'em guen!

"I'm sorry, did I kill you?" -TheDutkanator

[250]

sigh, thanks... I will just play The Age of IW now, lol you are so right...