Advice for men from Women

[John D Harris]

1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.

2. The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet rim.

3. If we're watching football with you--it's not bonding--it's their butts.

4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.

5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.

7. If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn't ask in bed.

8. The next time you joke about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubber-necking mini-skirts.

9. If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep track of "who's easy"?

10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.

11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.

12. We don't mind if you look in the mirror to check your appearance -- in fact -- please do !!!

13. When you're out with us, please wear "our" favorite outfit rather than "yours" -- the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.

14. If you must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs a negative grunt.

15. Don't insist that we "get off the stupid phone" and then not talk to us.

16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily "women's work"; besides, most of the "dirt" and clutter is yours anyway.

18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then you never want to cook?

19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.

20. Yes, we know you can probably beat us arm wrestling; however, very few raises or promotions were gained by arm wrestling the boss.


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Crustiest of the OLD COOTS
Airline ticket to Afghanistan $800
High powered rifle with scope $1000
Hotel room with roof access $100
A clean Head shot on that sack of Horse Manure Usuma Bin Laden PRICELESS!

Oh so true!!!

Hey guys, are you listening out there? Pearls of Wisdom have fallen from John D's pen........



Garnet

[Lioness]

LMAO!!! You've done it again, John D.! Thanx!

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Lil' Angel
Sword Saint and Enchantress of the HADB Clan
The Lady Lioness of Castle Kerhelm
Waitress at Cloudy's Cafe, PB's Pub, and the Promised Land
Official Restrainer of Table Dancers
PeaceKeeping Force, Intelligence Division
Emerald Dragoness of DOTW
Incorrigible Redsox Fan
Unsuspecting Victim of one of Jerome and Rikard's Plots

[Gil-Galad]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by John D Harris:

6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.
ROFL - point taken #1!

7. If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn't ask in bed.
Are we all that bad?`and if we are, how would you know what "good" is

9. If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep track of "who's easy"?
That's not gossip! It's called "male bonding".

11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.
I don't believe you! And you can't really, in this forum, convince me otherwise

14. If you must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs a negative grunt.
Ok, point taken #2!

15. Don't insist that we "get off the stupid phone" and then not talk to us.
Ok, point taken #3!

16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.
Ok, point taken #4!

19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.
Really? Geez...

20. Yes, we know you can probably beat us arm wrestling; however, very few raises or promotions were gained by arm wrestling the boss.
Very clever, but who's the boss in the first place?

[Harkoliar]

good one

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Revived I Am to hunt this world... Banish ye evil or face my wrath...