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Old 09-07-2004, 11:42 AM   #1
Memnoch
Ironworks Moderator
 

Join Date: February 28, 2001
Location: Boston/Sydney
Posts: 11,771
Since we've all been talking about cats and dogs lately...


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EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m.Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m.Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m.Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the high metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time... [img]graemlins/evillaughter2.gif[/img]

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[ 09-07-2004, 11:44 AM: Message edited by: Memnoch ]
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Old 09-07-2004, 11:45 AM   #2
Gangrell
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Join Date: January 2, 2003
Location: Big Castle in the Sky
Age: 36
Posts: 4,835
You have made a grave insult to my pup this day, you only drive him to move against Choc sooner.

He won't forget this [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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Old 09-07-2004, 11:17 PM   #3
Hivetyrant
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Join Date: August 24, 2002
Location: Aussie now in the US of A!
Age: 37
Posts: 5,403
Hahaha, that was great Memnoch [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]
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Old 09-07-2004, 11:25 PM   #4
Dron_Cah
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Very enjoyable. See, life as a dog is far more blissful. ignorance=bliss.
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Old 09-08-2004, 12:14 AM   #5
Kakero
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Join Date: March 24, 2002
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I think I've seen this here before... hmmm..
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Old 09-08-2004, 06:09 AM   #6
dplax
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Join Date: July 19, 2003
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LOL. That gave me a few good laughs.
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Old 09-08-2004, 08:29 AM   #7
Dave_the_quack
Baaz Draconian
 

Join Date: August 22, 2004
Location: Sydney, Australia.
Age: 39
Posts: 737
Heh, being the keeper of three cats, I found this to be highly accurate [img]smile.gif[/img]

Although, Koko our middle cat who runs into closed doors and the like seems to remind me more of the dog excerpt.... [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Thanks Mem.
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