My Story?

[Moridin]

Harry Potter? Good start, but it is going to be "ignored" by the Harry Potter phenomina(sp). I assume the two kids are younger (10-12yrs), however it is only the beginning and I don't know the 'plotline' or anything. Just a little constructive critisism
Keep it coming

well don't worry this is going to be nothing like Harry Potter and I am going to have one of the two boys turning into a vampire. Also No I Don't have a plot, but I do have some idea of what I am going to do. When I finish the book I will tell you were you can get it but while it still is short I will keep on updating.

here is an updated version
Concentrating, Sanzo waved his hand and grinned as green sparks flew from his fingertips. The green sparks promptly zoomed forward with a bang and a flash only to stop in mid air right in front of his friend Gary. Laughing Gary flicked his wrist and the green sparks abruptly turned around to speed to where Sanzo was standing. Quickly Sanzo muttered a few words to himself and then clapped his hands and then disappeared with a flash of black and yellow light. Seconds after he disappeared the green sparks streaked to where he would have been standing causing the ground to scorch and change into a pool of water. Scowling Gary looked right and left and hurriedly started probing the area with his mind until he noticed a faint presence somewhere to his right.
Gary smiled and then pointed his finger to where he detected the aura and dramatically chanted ' Ingorno, Capino, Apaer'.
A few lights flickered back and forth to where he pointed until with a surprised look on his face Sanzo appeared blanketed in a white light. Quickly recovering from this shock, he searched his mind for an appropriate spell to counter his friends spells and found one. Smiling he gestured with his right hand and black flames roared into existence around him. Immediately after that he gestured with his left hand and a bluish shimmering light appeared and floated around him slightly shining.
' You never give up do you?' asked Gary in a tired tone of voice as he scanned the flames looking for Sanzo.
' I don't need to." Retorted Sanzo with a touch of defiance in his voice.
' Ya, of course you don't need to when you spend your whole day hiding.' Gary taunted in an attempt to draw him out from behind the fire.
' Ok lets see! ' Sanzo screamed as he ran out of the sheets of flame.
Gary laughed to himself at the stupidity of his friend and pointed his finger at him. Slowly he invoked ' Avkada Solano'. A bolt of pink thunder roared at Sanzo and then veered off sharply when it reached the blue light which was surrounding him.
' Well well well, a deflect magic spell ' Gary said, ' Lets see if it can deflect this!'
Right after saying that Gary cupped his hands together and then pulled them apart. Flashes of green appeared in the center of Sanzo's shield and then started to move in opposite directions until with a sucking noise the blue shield disappeared.
' Lets see what you can block now.' Gary teased and then started to raise his hands.
' Time for Supper!' called Sanzo's mom. ' Come on in!'
' But mom please we are almost done! Five More minutes. ' Sanzo pleaded
' No your food will get cold. Come on in '
' All right mom.' Sanzo said unhappily.
' Nice duel though ' Sanzo said to Gary as they walked to Sanzo's house.
' Yep the best part was with the Deflect Magic spell which I ruined by splitting in half' Gary commented as they entered Sanzo's house.
With a touch of scorn in his voice Sanzo replied ' No the best part was how I made myself invisible when you reflected my really cool stun spell.'
' Whatever no point in arguing, right now what I want to know is what is for supper? ' Asked Gary once they were inside the house and had removed there robes.
' I think Fish and Chips' guessed Sanzo as they entered the dining room.
Much to Gary's surprise Sanzo's guess was correct and even more to his surprise he enjoyed the supper greatly even though he normally hated fish and chips. However since he was still I little mad at his friend when he was almost done with his serving and second Sanzo wasn't looking he quickly muttered a spell which was aimed at Sanzo's little black plate. Snickering he watched as Sanzo ate and ate the fish and chips but for some reason couldn't finish his food.
Giving Gary an evil look he quickly said the counter spell.
Then he pointed his finger at a jar behind Gary and muttered quietly to himself ' Alof Nolof ' Slowly the jar rose up and hovered over Gary's head. Sensing something was wrong he looked up and let out a yelp. He then with annoyance uttered a few words and swung his hands down, but to his annoyance the jar instead of becoming under his control just danced around every now and then threatening to tip its contents on him.
Sanzo winked at him and started to turn his hand in a semicircle, and the jar slowly started to tip over and a drop of water fell onto Gary's head. In response to that Gary angrily uttered an enchantment and laughed, as yellow lights completely surrounded Sanzo, which danced around him slowly every now and then hitting him with a blast of light.
At that point Sanzo's dad came in and wearily said ' Volta Prior Enchantion '.
The jar slowly levitated down and the lights around Sanzo disappeared with a pop. And both of the boys looked at each other and then at the ground.
Sanzo's dad wearily looked at them and said in a quiet voice' Now you both know the rules, No magic in the house. ' After saying this he sat down at the long brown table with the two kids and started to eat his portion. Occasionally a little spark of conversation started on topics like How Was Your Day? And Do You Like The Supper? But most of the meal was eaten in silence.
After they all finished Sanzo's dad stood up and said ' Well Sanzo and Gary, tomorrow is a big step in life for you. ' He paused for dramatic effect and continued,
' Both of you are talented Mage's, so I hope you will do well at your school. ' Right after saying this he cleared his throat and went on, ' I know that you can do well and I know that you will make me proud.'
At that point Sanzo stopped paying attention until his father concluded with, ' Whatever you do make sure to write once a week. ' After saying that he looked at both of them and waited expectantly until Sanzo said ' Right Dad.'
Once hearing this from Sanzo his dad went on ' Well Gary I think that it is time for you to go and get ready with your family.'
Gary got up and then said ' Right thanks for the food also thanks for having me over'
Both Gary and Sanzo walked to the door and Sanzo watched as Gary left. Sighing Sanzo went to his room and started packing his supply's up. He made sure to include his curse book and all of his hex's.
Once packing it all up he went to his father and said ' I got it all packed up, and am all ready. '
' Ok, go help your mom clean up your supper. '
' Okay I love you Dad! '
As he entered the dining room he saw his mom and said experimentally ' I got it all packed up, and am all ready '
Hearing this his mom looked at him and said ' Ok now help me clean up your supper. '
On hearing this Sanzo inwardly groaned his parents have been doing it again. While they were great parents the main problem with them was that they were telepaths. In some ways it was good as he inherited some of there talent and can shield his mind which was especially good as his parents wouldn't like to accidentally read his mind.
However in a way it was bad as always his parents knew what each other said and he couldn't get away with first asking his dad something and then asking his mom when his dad refused as his mom would instantly know that his dad didn't want him to have it or do it, and vice versa.
Sighing he started picking up the plates, and piling them. Then the second his mom wasn't looking he pointed his finger at it and uttered ' Falai, Polisha '.
A yellow light flashed around the plate and it instantly cleaned up. Also then he pointed his finger at the forks and said ' Alof Nolof '.
The forks slowly levitated up flashing slightly and then he pointed at all the plates and repeated the charm. Later he then pushed all the plates with the levitating force to the kitchen. Spinning gently he lowered the plates into the washing machine and pretended to wash it.
However that didn't work, as his mom came in right then and sighed.
' You know how your dad feels about using magic indoors ' His mom sighed again and went on.
' When you arrive at your school you can use magic as much as you want. Your dad and I don't want you to be utterly physically drained even if you can control powers of immense proportions. '
' I am sorry mom, I just don't see the point in doing such mundane work. But if you want I promise not to use magic inside anymore '
' Ok, I just want you to know that I will miss you greatly when you are at your school. '
' Also your dad wants to warn you about the vampires that live near your school. ' His mom countinued after clearing her throat,
' Don't leave your school at night alone as you might get attacked,