12-09-2000, 10:34 PM | #41 |
Welcomed New User
Join Date: September 24, 2002
Location: Seattle
Age: 43
Posts: 0
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- You have to have people explain to you what real life is and even then you dont believe them. ("No no, I dont have some dumb ass boring paper pushing job. Im a warrior and Ill prove it with my steel")
- When you are slaving away at work and still havent got a promotion you wonder why the experience cap remover hasnt worked. - When things go wrong in life you call it a bug and email black isle - On a slow day you wonder if turning of 3D will help |
12-10-2000, 01:18 PM | #42 |
Elite Waterdeep Guard
Join Date: November 30, 2001
Location: Ohio, US
Posts: 8
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- Before going to sleep you find yourself looking for a button with an eyebrow.
- When looking at animals thinking can this be my familiar. - When having a bad dream you wake up screaming - NOOOOOO IRENICUS LEAVE IMOEN ALONE - When going to the toilet suddenly remembers Minsc word of den of stinking evil and understands where he keeps his hamster - When shopping wondering what's wrong with the storekeeps the speak different in this realm Aegis |
09-18-2002, 03:17 PM | #43 |
Symbol of Cyric
Join Date: September 15, 2002
Location: Peterborough, ON, CANADA
Age: 60
Posts: 1,394
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...when you get excited at all the Trekkies in town for the convention, because it's the only time you get to meet Elves.
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If I say \"Eject!\" and you say \"Huh?\" - you\'ll be talking to yourself! - Maj. Bannister, <b>Steel Tiger</b> |
09-18-2002, 03:46 PM | #44 |
Manshoon
Join Date: September 5, 2002
Location: East Coast USA
Age: 46
Posts: 153
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Hehee! This thread is great! Here's an old one from the original Bioware forum.
1. You complain to your family about having to live in "such a pissant town". 2. You search for objects at the base of every tree you see. 3. You walk into a complete stranger's house and start rummaging through his drawers. 4. You go into your basement to kill spiders. 5. You buy an Irish wolfhound and name him 'Ruffie'. 6. You tell your boss, "I don't like the way this company is working out. Perhaps better leadership would help." 7. You try to pawn severed heads. 8. All your friends have green circles around their feet. 9. You have a collection of odd-looking sticks which you believe contain magic, but haven't been identified yet. 10. On your resume, your education is listed as 'lore'. 11. You demand discounts on the grounds that you are a hero for getting a cat out of a tree. 12. You rest for exactly 8 hours every night. 13. You refer to your luxury car as an 'automobile +1'. 14. You divorce your wife for 'incompatible alignments'. 15. You find a ring and carry it with you for your entire life in the hopes that you will meet the person to whom it belongs and return it. 16. You buy a new 3 gig hard drive, exclusively for Baldur's Gate. 17. You've been wearing a cloak around the office lately. 18. You scan every square inch of the ground looking for hidden objects when on the way to the store. 19. Your wife says, "Something smells. Have you been hanging around in the sewer again?" 20. You're fired from your job for 'laying hands' on the other employees. 21. You are deathly afraid to kiss women you meet at the beach, especially ones with bluish skin. 22. You have nightmares about your 4th grade teacher screaming, "You WILL Learn!!!" 23. You have bite marks all over you from trying to charm squirrels. 24. You refer to sex as 'entering The Gate'. 25. Your playing sessions end when you say, "Ooops" as you notice the sun coming in the window. 26. You now hesitate or are paranoid about putting on a belt. 27. Your greeting to people you don't like now consists of "Go for the eyes!!" 28. You try to "pause" life. 29. When you walk on the street at nighttime everyone has a red glow around him. 30. You never eat, or go to the bathroom. 31. Your dad's name is Gorion. 32. When you leave your house and want to get back in you need to give a book worth 5000 gold. 33. When you look out of your window in the backyard you see a bandit camp. 34. When you're going to the basement you refer to "The naskel mines." 35. You feel like being controlled by an omnipresent authority figure. 36. When you die you reload. 37. Your boss gives you a new assignment and you reply disdainfully, "A waste of my talent..." 38. You order a large steak in a resturaunt, then grab your knife and cry out "My blade will cut you down to size!". 39. You get a Neon green spandex body suit and run around showing everyone your "ankeg armor". 40. Next time some kid asks you to help him look for his dog you try to kill him for exp. 41. You wonder why when you go into hotels and rest you never seem to find that campfire. 42. Everytime you see a huskie you cry "vampire wolf!" and run. 43. You are in your car looking at a street map and you can't figure out where to go, because no other sections are highlighted. 44. You go to a Tailor and ask if he can make you a set of leather armour. 45. You go to a bar and when the Bartender comes up to you, you ask "where is the fat guy that works in every bar?" 46. A friend of yours gets seriously injured and you take him to a church/temple instead of the Hospital. 47. You refuse to try on any new jewelry without a remove curse spell handy. 48. You make 89,000 dollars per year and your job refuses to give you anymore. 49. Your Boss tells you you really screwed up that report and demands you fix it immediately, You respond by saying a patch will be available shortly. 50. During sex, your Wife keeps asking "who the hell is Imoen?" 51. You buy a hamster for the sole purpose of naming it Boo. 52. When it starts to snow/rain/thunder&lightning out, you complain that you can't find the gameplay menu to disable weather. 53. You try to cross a state border and the border guard asks you to insert CD #3. 54. You complete an assignment and your boss gives a pat on your back and says "Gorion would be proud!" 55. When something catches the corner of your eyes and you frantically try to hit the . 56. You immediately launch an assault on anyone playing with a red hoola-hoop. And you introduce yourself to anyone playing with a blue one. 57. You leave a buddy at the mall and, upon returning there the next day on another errand, are confused and annoyed he isn't standing right where you left him waiting for you. 58. You start a new game every 20 minutes just to hear Imoen say that funky "HeeyYA!" 59. You don't know who's playing who in the Superbowl and couldn't care less, your mage is only 5000xp from level 7 dammit. 60. You get upset that your girlfriend always refuses your reasonable requests that she break into people's locked desks and start carrying a bow and arrow. 61. You start giggling uncontrollably when entering a liquor store and see HUNDREDS of vials of various colored liquid everywhere! Your mutterings of "Gotta find that Frost Giant Strength...it's gotta be one of these." draw concerned stares. 62. Your constantly starting fistfights just to be able to shout out, "Time for a wee bit o' tha rough and tumble!" at the top of your lungs. 63. You run off with all your wife's jewelry in the hopes of being able to trade it in at the local sporting goods store for that new hunting bow they got in. 64. You take 3 hours to get from one end of an airport terminal to the other since there's obviously NO WAY you can possibly walk THROUGH the crowds to get there. So you leave the terminal, walk around the runway, across the highway, through a marsh, past a farm, back onto the runway and into the other end of the terminal. This behavior seems totally reasonable to you. 65. You have no time to be farting around on a BG newgroup posting a list of things telling you you've been playing too much Baldur's Gate. There's a game to be played and your busy playing it! 66. You actually use the word "buffleheaded" in a sentence. By the way, just FYI folks, "buffleheaded" is in the dictionary. It means "dull, stupid, foolish." So, even though she says it with a laugh, it's really not a compliment ! 67. You begin quoting Minsc to your co-workers (a very bad >sign). 68. After playing BG till 3 in the morning, you slip into bed only to hear your wife say " EITHER FIND AN INN OR REST OUTSIDE"... |
09-18-2002, 04:04 PM | #45 |
Zartan
Join Date: October 15, 2001
Location: Oslo, Norway
Age: 35
Posts: 5,367
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Oh my god, those are hilarous, Lharae! [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
I wonder how many of these thread we have had now... I think I remember three, including this oldie. [img]smile.gif[/img] |
09-18-2002, 04:42 PM | #46 |
40th Level Warrior
Join Date: July 11, 2002
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 11,916
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You keep dealing with frustrating situations at work by screaming
SWORDS - NOT WORDS !!!!! |
09-18-2002, 05:25 PM | #47 |
Apophis
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When assigned to a group project that's going slow, you shake your head and say, "In Rashemen we always encourage the slow with a loving backhand of productivity!"
Wherever you go, you open drawers and boxes and take what you please. You see nothing wrong with it, but live in constant fear of the Flaming Fist or Cowled Wizards popping in for a surprise visit. Your pants are all gold, silver, or copper. You dig up someone's grave, take the skeleton, spraypaint it gold, and name it Kangaxx. When someone angers you, brandish the skull in their face and threaten to have him cast Imprisonment. You ask Borders to special-order a Tome of Leadership and Influence. They tell you it'll be there in a week, so you set up camp and do nothing but sleep till it gets there. You talk with a goofy, loud accent and order people to do pushups. If anyone asks why, you say, "Because I *AM* the law!" You annoy the hell out of friends and family by referring to every small task you have as a "quest." You have a journal, and write down every little thing as soon as it happens. This includes writing about being mugged while the guy is still there. You accuse people of being dopplegangers and punch them, trying to make them revert and attack you. You go to a politician and slip him a medium-sized bag of gold coins and say, "So how about exempting me from that pesky law, hm?" Oh, wait, that's what real life is like...
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http://cavestory.org PLAY THIS GAME. Seriously. http://xkcd.com/386/ http://www.xkcd.com/406/ My heart is like my coffee. Black, bitter, icy, and with a straw. |
09-23-2002, 03:26 AM | #48 |
The Magister
Join Date: September 2, 2002
Location: Underdark
Age: 46
Posts: 141
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- when you see another group of people walking along the streets in the night, your thoughts are : vampires...
- you keep having dreams about Imoen and Jon Irenicus... - keep saying "Ah, we are all heroes" in what ever things you do...
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\"d\' jal lil things usstan inbal noamuth, usstan miss ussta mind lil mzilst.\"<br />\"Of all the things I\'ve lost, I miss my mind the most.\"<br /><br />-= Ozzy Osbourne =- |
09-23-2002, 09:24 AM | #49 | |
Jack Burton
Join Date: October 16, 2001
Location: PA
Age: 43
Posts: 5,421
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Quote:
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"Any attempt to cheat, especially with my wife, who is a dirty, dirty, tramp, and I am just gonna snap." Knibb High Principal - Billy Madison |
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09-23-2002, 09:41 AM | #50 |
Legion Symbol
Join Date: May 29, 2002
Location: Somewhere in between
Age: 39
Posts: 7,029
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- you continually try to "hide in the shadows", and get upset when someone spots you! You tell them "You cant do that! My cloak is non-dectectable!" Then you sulk, and return it to Debanams and demand that they reenchant the cloak...
- You walk in you're town/city and in a loud voice cry out "Cover you're nose boo! Cities always teem with evil and decay, lets give it a good shake and SEE what falls out!" - You are suddenly paranoid of you're "family" and ask where you're "half" brothers and sisters are... and refuse to talk to anyone until they tell you where Imoen is... - You get upset when you're gf doesnt say Imeon's lines, particially "You're a queer fellow..." and when you repeat it to the man in the shop... you're surprised when... - You start dressing in tunics, and trying to wear elven chain underneth you're clothing... and glare at ppl in the st when they see you're sword... - You start being moody like a certain "ex" guardian of you'res, and start cursing "BY THE HORNS OF SILVANUIS! I'LL PLANT YOU BENETH THE STONES OF AITHSATH" (or howeverits spelt), and then you mutter "insufferble" - You refuse to go into the "docks" without first knowing where the shadow theives are... - You refuse to give beggers money, because you think their Irenicus's spies... - You keep asking where the "tree of life" is, and we're you can find the city of the elves.. - You get a pet, and try to cast "possess familar"... - You ignore you're parents, and start asking where you're "real" father is, then getting upset when you've lost you're "bhaalspawn" abilities... - You start giving lectures on "life" and locking ppl up in glass tubes, and cry out when the cops come for you... "NO! I *WONT* BE DENIED! NOT WHEN I AM SO CLOSE! I WONT LET YOU GO! YOU WILL SUFFER, YOU WILL ALL SUFFER!" hehe, - You refuse to answer unless ppl address you by you're "correct" name [img]tongue.gif[/img] "I AM CALAETHIS! CALAETHIS DRAGONSBANE!! TERROR OF THE SWORD COAST, SLAYER OF BHAALSPAWN AND HEIR TO THE THRONE OF MURDER!" and/or do a noble impression "Do not touch me, peasent, do you know who I am?" - you very calmly, and rationally write down on you're CV that you are profiencent in longswords, bastard swords, daggers and throwing knives.... and that you're an assassin/theif in you're spare time... I could go on, but I wont [ 09-23-2002, 11:03 AM: Message edited by: Calaethis Dragonsbane ]
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Skydracgrrl: Cruelty, thy name is Cal! --- There are none so blind as those who refuse to see, none so deaf as those who refuse to hear, and none so smelly as those who refuse to bathe. |
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