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Old 11-21-2001, 11:34 AM   #1
Dreamer128
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Join Date: March 21, 2001
Location: Europe
Age: 39
Posts: 6,136
After many weeks, its finally here! Sorry i had to keep ya all waiting so long.
(If you haven’t read the original thread go here: http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/cg...0&t=004744&p=1

In a backwater thread on the general discussion…

Rikard:*answers the phone* Hello?
X: Greetings Mr Rikard.
Rikard: Greetings, do you have my assignment?
X: I do! Your mission, should you choose the accept it, is to prevent Memnoch, the evil tyrant, from taking over the dungeoncraft board.
Rikard: What’s my cover up?
X: You are a poor travelling Mercenary
Rikard: I AM a poor travelling mercenary!
X: Yes, excellent isn’t it?
Rikard: Wait…what was that?
X: What?
Rikard: Are you sure this line isn’t being traced?
X: Pretty sure
Rikard: I’m off anyway, just to be on the save side.
X: Very well, there is a link that will take you to Dungeoncraft just one post away.

*Suddenly the door gets bashed open and smilies come rushing in the room.
Smilie1: Freeze!
Smilie2: Hands on your head! Don’t move!

Meanwhile, downstairs.

Lord shield: Lieutenant! [img]graemlins/cool.gif[/img]
Smilie: Oh shit.
Lord shield: You have been given specific orders!
Smilie: This thread falls under my jurisdiction, you have no authority here!
Lord shield: The orders where for your protection!
Smilie: I think we can handle one spammer.
Lord shield: *walks up the stairs*
Smilie: I send two units, they are bringing him down now!
Lord shield: No lieutenant, your men are already dead.

Back upstairs.
Smilie1: Don’t move damned!
Rikard: Stay cool mate.
Smilie2: Whats that in your hand?
Rikard: Take a look!
Rikard: [img]graemlins/smilelazer.gif[/img]
Smilie2: Aaaaaaaagggggghhhhhh
Rikard: *Leaps out of the window.*
Lord Shield: There he is! After him!
Rikard:*Runs in the direction of the link and grabs his cell phone*
Rikard: What happened?
X: They cut the hard line.
X: Head for the link, it will transport you to dungeoncraft and will start the movie.
Rikard: I already am!
X: Watch out however, memnoch send his best spammer, lord shield, after you!
Rikard: Damn, I think this is too much!
X: That’s an understatement, but this isn’t mission difficult, its mission impossible!
Rikard: * Jumps into the link* [img]graemlins/abduct.gif[/img]
Smilie: Damn, we lost him!
Lord shield: Don’t worry, ill get him.
Smilie: But the link has closed!
Lord shield: A minor problem, I can assure you that mr Rikard will soon be no more.
Smilie: What are you planning?
Lord shield: Ill tell you later, the movie is starting now.

A long time agow, on a board not so far away

IRONWORKS EPISODEII: Memnoch strikes back!

AFTER THE DESTRUCTION OF CHOCS LEGIONS AND THE DISSAPEARANCE OF ZIROC, IRONWORKS IS PLUNGED INTO CHAOS.
CIVIL WAR RAGES ACROSS THE BOARDS AS THE ONCE UNITED MODERATORS EACH TRY TO CONQUER AS MUCH OF IRONWORKS AS POSSIBLE. THE NOBLE KING SAZERAC AND HIS SPAMMERS OF THE ROUND TABLE TRY TO MAINTAIN LAW AND ORDER WHILE THE EVIL LORD MEMNOCH TRYS TO TAKE THE POSITION OF WEBMASTER FOR HIMSELF. CAUGHT IN THIS CHAOS IS THE YOUNG PRINCESS LIONESS WHO, AFTER THE DEATH OF COCAPSPUD, HAS BEEN CROWNED QUEEN OF THE DUNGEONCRAFT BOARD.
MEMNOCH, SEEING ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY TO EXPEND HIS TERRITORY LAUNCHES A RAIN OF TERROR ON THE INHABITANTS OF THE SMALL BOARD. THE DESPERATE QUEEN OF DUNGEONCRAFT DECIDES TO TAKE A DRASTIC STEP TO INSURE THE FUTURE OF HER BOARD. ALSO PRESENT ON THE DUNGEONCRAFT BOARD IS THE ONCE MIGHTY SPAM MASTER RIKARD, WHO WAS BANNED FROM THE GENERAL DISCUSION AFTER THE GREAT WAR. HE NOW HIRES HIMSELF OUT AS A MERCANERY, WHO SPAMS FOR POSTS, UNAWARE OF THE GREAT ROLE HE WILL PLAY IN THE COMING CONFLICT.


We find Rikard fighting farmers in a backwater thread on the dungeoncraft board, two weeks after he left the GD.
[img]graemlins/fight.gif[/img]
Rikard:*dodges blow*
Farmer: Damn, stand still.
Rikard:*dodges another blow*
Farmer:Grrr
Rikard: *Leaps over the farmer*
Farmer:What the…
Rikard:Knocks him softly on the back of his head.
Farmer: Damn, lost again.
Rikard: Yup, my money please. Another match?
Farmer: No thanks, I just about had enough. I don’t have any money left either.
Rikard: Ah, too bad. Ill be going then.
Farmer: Wait a sec, can you teach me to spam like that?
Rikard: lol, probably not.
Farmer: But why?
Rikard: Ok then, first it takes lots of training.
Farmer: I can do that.
Rikard: Second, you must be able to become an extension of your blade.
Farmer: I think I can do that too.
Rikard: And last, you must not be afraid to be deleted.
Farmer: Eh…
Rikard: I didn’t think so, goodbye.
Rikard:*heads into the woods*
Rikard: Bah, too bad I have to waste my time training pe….*trips over a flask*
Rikard:*cough* what is this? It appears to be some kind of flask.
Memnoch: Greetings mortal!
Rikard: What is this?
Memnoch: Cant you guess, I’m a genie in a bottle and I’m granting you four wishes!
Rikard: Mmh, I thought I was only suppose to get three wishes?
Memnoch: Eh, that’s possible too.
Rikard: possible too? What kind of a genie are you?
Memnoch: Part-time I’m afraid, I’m also the warlord raiding these boards and I’m into consultant marketing as well!
Rikard: I see, now how about my four wishes?
Memnoch: Four? Didn’t you just say three?
Rikard: Well, you’re the genie here and if you say four, then four it is.
Memnoch: Sigh, very well then. What is it you desire?
Rikard: Can you make me the webmaster of ironworks?
Memnoch: Don’t push it pall!
Rikard: Ok then, first I wish for a great adventure. Second, I want to fall in love with a beautiful woman and third, please restore all my fallen comrades.
Memnoch: It is done, call me again when you decide on your last wish. *disappears*

Meanwhile, a few miles back.

Farmer: Alert! Armed forces are approaching from the soa board!
Farmer: Oh no! Its him!
Memnoch: Greetings peasants!
Farmer: Get lost memnoch, you have no authority here!
Memnoch: Silence you insolent dog! Last night, men form this village spammed on my board!
Farmer: That’s a lie!
Memnoch: The punishment for this is death! These regions have been lawless long enough! Men, CHARGE!
Farmer: Aaaaaagggghhhh, RUN FOR IT! [img]graemlins/shooter19.gif[/img]
[img]graemlins/smilelazer.gif[/img]
Memnoch: Spread the word! I rule these regions now!
Memnoch: Men, move out!

Castle Kerhelm, court of queen Lioness, dungeoncraft board, two hours later.
Seph: Your highness, Memnoch just raided another border village.
Lioness: How many casualties this time?
Seph: Fiftheen, he wants you to turn over the board to him!
Lioness: Never! But something must be done.
Seph: You’ve had another marriage proposal from Lord Sazerac, ruler of the Wizardry8, pool of RadianceII and Wizards and warriors board. Memnoch would not risk a war with him.
Lioness: Very well then, I will marry Sazerac.
Seph: Oh my child, I’m so proud of you!
Wolfgir: Eh, isn’t she a bit underage?
Seph: Nah, these are the middle ages friend, it was allowed back then.
Wolfgir: I see, I find it surprising that Sazerac would still want you after that little table dance incident at Z’s victory party.
Seph: Huh, what kind of incident?
Wolfgir: Didn’t you know? She and Jerome actually…
Lioness: …DID NOTHING AT ALL, get out wolfie! Now to the business at hand.
Seph: Be a good wolf and fetch sir Byronas, the knight Sazerac send to escort you to Tolemac, his capital.
Lioness: Excellent idea, we set out right away.

Meanwhile, on the road to wizards and warriors
Rikard: Damn genie, none of my wishes seems to have come true!
Rikard: This is what we do with worthless flasks on the GD!
Rikard: *tosses genie’s flask into the river*

*suddenly, Lioness’ convoy approaches from another road.
Rikard: What’s this? The flag of dungeoncraft? What are they doing out here?
Rikard: Oh my god, there is tree lying over the road!
Sir Byronas: The road is blocked! It must be an Ambush!
Sir Regin: Form a line! Protect the queen!

Out of nowhere, the first wave of smilies jumps the convoy!
Sir Byronas: FIRE! OPEN FIRE!
Sir Regin: Take this you freaks! [img]graemlins/shooter04.gif[/img]
Sir Barb: Yeah! I got another one! [img]graemlins/blownup.gif[/img]
Sir Byronas: They are retreating, after them!

*The brave knights break their lines, but suddenly a second wave of smilies rushed over the hill!*

Sir Byronas: Back in formation!

Drake: Sneaks up from behind a tree and snatches the queen.
Lioness: Heeeeelllllllppppppp
Drake: hehehe, I captured the queen. The master will reward me handsomely. [img]graemlins/evilhaha.gif[/img]
Lioness: Get your hands of me you filthy peasant!
Drake: *Throws her over the back of his horse and rides off*
Rikard: *Jumps out of a tree and knocks drake out of the saddle*
Drake: HEY! Get back here! Go kidnap your own queen!
Lioness: I demand that you let me off this horse immediately!
Rikard: In a second your highness.
Lioness: I do not have a second! Let me go now!
Rikard: If you insist. *helps lioness of the horse and disappears into the woods*
Lioness: About time too, eh where am I?
Lioness: Heeeelllllloooooooo, anybody out here?
Thug: Hey guys, it’s the queen!
Lioness: Uh oh.
Madman-Rogovich: This must be our lucky day! A queen to hold for ransom!
Lioness: Now, now fellows. Can’t we talk about this like civilized men?
Madman-Rogovich: Grab her!
Lioness: Here we go again, HELP!
Rikard: *Rushes out of the woods and pulls lioness on his horse*
Rikard: Surprised?
Lioness: Not you *again*.
Rikard: Yup, I saved your life twice In one hour.
Lioness: Can you please return me to my escort?
Rikard: I have a much better plan, run of with me!
Lioness: What?!
Rikard: Why not, we can get married on the GD.
Lioness: Do you know who I am, I am the queen of Dungeoncraft. On my way to marry lord Sazerac!
Rikard: So?
Lioness: Just return me to my escort please.
Rikard: What a day, first I save a queen from an ambush, then I fall in love with her.
Rikard: Wait a sec, Great adventure + beautiful queen= two wishes that came true.
Rikard: That damn genie did what I asked after all, but then…
Rikard: Jumps of his horse and starts running towards the river.
Lioness: Hey! Where are you going?
Rikard: Your convoy is just around the corner, I’m off flask-diving.
Lioness: Huh?
Rikard: Dives in the river.
Lioness: Strange guy, strange but charming.
Sir Byronas: Look guys, there is the queen! Your highness, over here!

Will lioness ever reach castle Tolemac? And will Rikard ever recover the flask? And how about memnoch?
Be sure to watch the next episode of: Ironworks the movie

[ 11-21-2001: Message edited by: Dreamer128 ]

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Old 11-21-2001, 11:36 AM   #2
Legolas
Jack Burton
 

Join Date: March 31, 2001
Location: The zephyr lands beneath the brine.
Age: 39
Posts: 5,459
[img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]
LOL! Way 2 go Dreamer
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Old 11-21-2001, 11:40 AM   #3
Neb
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Join Date: May 17, 2001
Location: .
Age: 38
Posts: 8,802
Maybe you should put a "Warning: Comedy inside." sticker on this thread Velkyn! LOLOLOL! Good one! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

It's posts like IW: The Movie and it's sequel that help make IW unique!

[ 11-21-2001: Message edited by: Neb ]

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Old 11-21-2001, 11:48 AM   #4
Sir Exxon
Zartan
 

Join Date: October 15, 2001
Location: Oslo, Norway
Age: 35
Posts: 5,367
Yahooo!
We are finally up and running!
Great work, Dreamer! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

see ya!
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Old 11-21-2001, 12:34 PM   #5
Cloudbringer
Ironworks Moderator
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Upstate NY USA
Posts: 19,737
*Welcome Wagon rolls up*
ROTFL! Dreamer, this was hilarious! Of course, you know I'm Choc's number one fan, right? LOLOL.... And Memsy, taking over the world.. well that's par for the course! HAHAHAHA! Naturally, I'd have to zap him, being the Storm Queen of Ironworks and all, but hey, he's used to being zapped! Or was that 'slapped'.... *ponders the difference and grins* [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

I'm surprised Azure Wolf hasn't tried to take over yet! Must be busy in his new Hamlet! [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] I think I'll bribe Choc with some catnip mice and Fancy Feast. As for the evil Rikard and Memnoch...hmm... think catnip works on magic wielders and genies? [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img]

CB
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Old 11-21-2001, 01:29 PM   #6
Barry the Sprout
White Dragon
 

Join Date: October 19, 2001
Location: York, UK.
Age: 41
Posts: 1,815
This thread just gets weirder and weirder. Nice one Dreamer128!
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Old 11-21-2001, 02:08 PM   #7
Kaz
Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom
 

Join Date: August 16, 2001
Location: UK
Posts: 2,891
ROFLMAO [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh3.gif[/img] I love it! [img]smile.gif[/img] The evil Memnoch, taking over the world... *insert laughing smiley here*
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Old 11-21-2001, 02:23 PM   #8
Grojlach
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Age: 42
Posts: 5,281
At least it isn't named "Attack of the Clones"...
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Old 11-21-2001, 02:27 PM   #9
Sir Byronas
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Join Date: October 2, 2001
Location: Greece
Age: 35
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Great Dreamer128! You liked very much "Lancelot:the first Knight".
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Old 11-21-2001, 02:36 PM   #10
Dreamer128
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Join Date: March 21, 2001
Location: Europe
Age: 39
Posts: 6,136
quote:
Originally posted by Sir Byronas:
Great Dreamer128! You liked very much "Lancelot:the first Knight".
hehehe, I confess. Thats one of my favorite movies as well as my main inspiration.
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