06-21-2004, 07:31 AM | #1 |
Unicorn
Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
|
101 Easy Ways to Say NO
I'd love to, but... 1 I have to floss my cat. 2 I've dedicated my life to linguini. 3 I want to spend more time with my blender. 4 the President said he might drop in. 5 the man on television told me to say tuned. 6 I've been scheduled for a karma transplant. 7 I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture. 8 it's my parakeet's bowling night. 9 it wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People. 10 I'm building a pig from a kit. 11 I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it. 12 I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy. 13 there's a disturbance in the Force. 14 I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling. 15 I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted. 16 I'm teaching my ferret to yodel. 17 I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products. 18 I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawl. 19 I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves. 20 my crayons all melted together. 21 I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes. 22 I'm in training to be a household pest. 23 I'm getting my overalls overhauled. 24 my patent is pending. 25 I'm attending the opening of my garage door. 26 I'm sandblasting my oven. 27 I'm worried about my vertical hold. 28 I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise. 29 I'm being deported. 30 the grunion are running. 31 I'll be looking for a parking space. 32 my Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then. 33 the monsters haven't turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots. 34 I'm taking punk totem pole carving. 35 I have to fluff my shower cap. 36 I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian. 37 I've come down with a really horrible case of something or other. 38 I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist. 39 my plot to take over the world is thickening. 40 I have to fulfill my potential. 41 I don't want to leave my comfort zone. 42 it's too close to the turn of the century. 43 I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary. 44 my subconscious says no. 45 I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store. 46 I left my body in my other clothes. 47 the last time I went, I never came back. 48 I've got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting. 49 I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters. 50 none of my socks match. 51 I have to be on the next train to Bermuda. 52 I'm having all my plants neutered. 53 people are blaming me for the Spanish-American War. 54 I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out. 55 I'm making a home movie called "The Thing That Grew in My Refrigerator." 56 I'm attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer. 57 my yucca plant is feeling yucky. 58 I'm touring China with a wok band. 59 my chocolate-appreciation class meets that night. 60 I never go out on days that end in "Y." 61 my mother would never let me hear the end of it. 62 I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student named Basil Metabolism. 63 I just picked up a book called "Glue in Many Lands" and I can't put it down. 64 I'm too old/young for that stuff. 65 I have to wash/condition/perm/curl/tease/torment my hair. 66 I have too much guilt. 67 there are important world issues that need worrying about. 68 I have to draw "Cubby" for an art scholarship. 69 I'm uncomfortable when I'm alone or with others. 70 I promised to help a friend fold road maps. 71 I feel a song coming on. 72 I'm trying to be less popular. 73 my bathroom tiles need grouting. 74 I have to bleach my hare. 75 I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner. 76 I'm writing a love letter to Richard Simmons. 77 you know how we psychos are. 78 my favorite commercial is on TV. 79 I have to study for a blood test. 80 I'm going to be old someday. 81 I've been traded to Cincinnati. 82 I'm observing National Apathy Week. 83 I have to rotate my crops. 84 my uncle escaped again. 85 I'm up to my elbows in waxy buildup. 86 I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar. 87 I'm having my baby shoes bronzed. 88 I have to go to court for kitty littering. 89 I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush. 90 I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner. 91 having fun gives me prickly heat. 92 I'm going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me. 93 I have to jog my memory. 94 my palm reader advised against it. 95 my Dress For Obscurity class meets then. 96 I have to stay home and see if I snore. 97 I prefer to remain an enigma. 98 I think you want the OTHER [your name] . 99 I have to sit up with a sick ant. 100 I'm trying to cut down. 101 ... well, maybe.
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53.7% of all statistics are made up |
06-21-2004, 07:36 AM | #2 |
Quth-Maren
Join Date: February 17, 2003
Location: Portsmouth
Age: 34
Posts: 4,145
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floss my cat?????
like these Arvon. You get better (?) with age. [img]tongue.gif[/img] I think.
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aka Loc der Graf, Quillruke |
06-21-2004, 07:54 AM | #3 |
Red Wizard of Thay
Join Date: September 7, 2003
Location: Israel
Age: 39
Posts: 877
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LOL!! I will certainly use some of these...
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Case from my reservist service: Kids attention, I have brought you something... Don't pull that ring private!! |
06-21-2004, 09:00 AM | #4 |
Apophis
Join Date: July 29, 2003
Location: The Underdark cavern of Zagreb
Age: 37
Posts: 4,679
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There is a disturbance in the Force, and it's origin is the Arvon
Great stuff, will use soon!
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MAKE LOVE, NOT SPAM! |
06-21-2004, 11:01 AM | #5 |
Iron Throne Cult
Join Date: March 12, 2001
Location: Manila, Philippines
Age: 39
Posts: 4,864
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hehehe... lovely stuff [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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06-21-2004, 12:17 PM | #6 |
Symbol of Cyric
Join Date: March 23, 2003
Location: Canada
Age: 36
Posts: 1,134
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-> ... well, maybe.
Sooo true. [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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In The Terminator, Sarah Connor is told a speech by John Connor\'s father that John has given in the future. When John is born, Sarah tells John this speech, and John grows up to tell it in the future. So who wrote the speech?! |
06-21-2004, 12:32 PM | #7 |
Avatar
Join Date: December 26, 2002
Location: Connecticut
Age: 35
Posts: 528
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LoL, i just used the "uncle escaped again" excuse and she believed it....good ones Arvon!
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\"\'Fleshy, honey\' the paladin said, \'Yes, baby\' said the golem\"<br /><br />I have seen the others and I have discovered that this fight is not worth fighting<br /><br /> <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[pimpser]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/pimpser.gif\" /> |
06-21-2004, 01:13 PM | #8 |
Lord Ao
Join Date: May 27, 2004
Location: Canada
Age: 42
Posts: 2,061
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Hehe, for me, #71 clears the room.
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Where there is a great deal of free speech, there is always a certain amount of foolish speech. - Winston S. Churchill |
06-21-2004, 11:24 PM | #9 |
Baaz Draconian
Join Date: May 24, 2004
Location: Bundaberg, Queensland, Australia
Age: 35
Posts: 721
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Good list of excuses Arvon, I could probably use them all but the one I like most is:
21. I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes. Hehe...I can certainly use that one
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"So many thoughts running through my head, I know what you feel, I know what you dread; When a room's filled with laughter, when a room's filled with lies, you're the only one I know that's in disguise..." |
06-22-2004, 09:24 AM | #10 |
Ra
Join Date: March 26, 2002
Location: Finland
Age: 36
Posts: 2,323
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rofl, #39 is one of my faves
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If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst forth at once in the sky, that would be like the splendor of the Mighty One. "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds." |
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