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Old 05-22-2001, 05:17 PM   #1
borzian
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I have never posted before but I have enjoyed this forum.

I would just like to vent a little about that TERRIBLE movie!
It had to be the worst piece of crap I have ever seen.
Being a longtime fan of D & D and being a HUGE fan of the Baldurs Gate series I was actually insulted by this movie. It was sooooo.... dumb(for lack of a better word). It was terribly acted. That guy who played the dwarf was the worst not to mention the whiny Marlon Wayans. Ugh! And could someone please explain that ending!?!?! It made no sense.

I cannot wait for The Lord of the Rings to come out now so I can wipe out the bad taste in my mouth.

I know this isn't a movie forum but I just thought the people on this forum could feel my pain.
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Old 05-22-2001, 05:21 PM   #2
Grand-Ranger
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I feel your pain brother


That moive made us all victims..Just think somone that never played DND that gose to watch it...*shudder*


As for the ending i have no firkken clue.I always thought went to the heavens or somthing
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Old 05-22-2001, 05:38 PM   #3
borzian
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Thanks Grand Ranger.
At least I know I am not alone with my opinion.

That movie definetly did not gain any more fans.

Can you imagine that the co-creator of D&D was a collaborator on this movie??
I watched the making of on the DVD.
He must have been high.
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Old 05-22-2001, 05:40 PM   #4
Grand-Ranger
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LOL I dont doubt it

I honestly reget going to watch it,i knew it would suck but damn.
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Old 05-22-2001, 06:29 PM   #5
Lord Shield
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Let it be know I would like to murder Jeremy Irons lowly for that obnoxious piece of f****** s***** c**p villain he could NOT play to save his worthless life!!!

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Old 05-22-2001, 09:11 PM   #6
Memnoch
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Here's what Mr Cranky had to say about it.


In the review that ran in my local newspaper, Bob Thomas of the Associated Press describes Dungeons & Dragons as a board game. This sort of comment should give people pause in thinking of film critics as journalists, which is a word I consider an insult in the first place. Journalists are basically the scum who couldn't make it in the real writing classes. However, imagining that couchbound, donut-inhaling Bob couldn't even lift up his hand to spend all of five seconds to find out that D&D isn't a board game really brings new meaning to the words "lazy, fat, haven't seen my genitals without a handheld mirror in the last twenty years, bastard." You know, if you're going to belittle something, get your facts straight. As we all know, Dungeons & Dragons is played with life-size dolls by participants wearing adult diapers.
Apparently, the director of this film, Courtney Solomon, has spent the last ten years of his life trying to get this film made. Given the timelines of his little crusade, one wonders whether his next project, "Pet Rock: The Movie" will ever get off the ground. This movie contains writing so bad that it forces normal people to curse God for allowing human communication to even exist. The acting is so bad that one assumes that the actors were all separated from each other and forced to stand in front of a green screen and pretend there was stuff going on. This combination is the Hollywood equivalent of farting into an open flame -- it all seems kind of harmless until you realize the effect feels exactly like being sodomized by the Heat Miser.

Do actors even read scripts anymore? How did Jeremy Irons end up in this thing? He plays the evil Profion, who's trying to take over Empress Savina's (Thora Birch) kingdom by getting control of dragons. Almost every emotional scene Irons does is accompanied by putting both hands up in the air and waving them around for dramatic effect. Thora Birch is so bad that I actually felt glad for her having taken off her shirt in "American Beauty", else this would certainly spell the end of her career. She runs around cooing about making everybody in her kingdom equal and then, when she wins the fight in the end (big surprise), she pronounces everybody equal. "You're all equal," she says. For his part, Justin Whalin, who plays the hero-thief Ridley, uses the dramatic head turn to simulate despair as well as any porno actor who has ever walked the planet. When things get really bad for him, he drops to his knees and screams "Noooooo!" at the top of his lungs, as though he'd just discovered that somebody had taken a dump in his Chalupa.

Funny, that was exactly the same reaction I had when I heard this movie was coming out.





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Old 05-23-2001, 05:39 AM   #7
debiler
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Uuuuuh. Let´s keep this on top. Everyone please respond, cause borzian is completely right. We had this topic some time earlier and finally came to the conclusion that Jeremy Irons should be boiled alive for that performance. The dwarf was even worse, he´s lucky that nearly noone knows that actor´s name.

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Old 05-23-2001, 05:53 AM   #8
Bruce The Aussie
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all i can say is when that snails bloke dies why not get him reserected? the dumb f***ers are too stupid to thats why!

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Old 05-23-2001, 06:22 AM   #9
BlackAssassin
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by borzian:
I have never posted before but I have enjoyed this forum.

Ugh! And could someone please explain that ending!?!?! It made no sense.


I know this isn't a movie forum but I just thought the people on this forum could feel my pain.
[/]

i know what you mean! What the hell was that? i mean, didn't the dragon eye stay in the dragon statue. And where did they go at the end, heaven? That would mean that they were dead which makes now sense. The only thing good about this movie was BEHOLDERS. special effects make these guys look wicked!



[This message has been edited by BlackAssassin (edited 05-23-2001).]
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Old 05-23-2001, 08:02 AM   #10
Lord Shield
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Yeah, but there was no action with them. Heroes just snuck past the bastards. I wanted to see the cast destroyed by beholder bolts

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