all my fears and feelings (insane or human ?)

[Xanthul]

HEHE you´ll know Mem !! its your experiences, you gotta decide if you wanna share them with all the board or not. I wont tell you to do it, as even if it has helped me a lot writing this, sometimes i think i shouldnt have posted this thread, its not easy to open your mind and heart to so many people. Whatever you decide, ill be with you my friend

PS: to anyone posting, i recommend writing in "brainstorm", just type what comes to your head. At least it worked fine for me cause i could feel how emotions came out as i was writing. After finishing i didnt even rewrite stuff (even if some things might look confusing), i thought it would be better to leave it "natural".

Thanks to all again !!

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There are mists in the dark
There are shadows in the fog
The shapes are blurred like nightmares...
Are you alive ?

Originally posted by Ertai_OHF; PS: to anyone posting, i recommend writing in "brainstorm", just type what comes to your head. At least it worked fine for me cause i could feel how emotions came out as i was writing. After finishing i didnt even rewrite stuff (even if some things might look confusing), i thought it would be better to leave it "natural".

Ertai,
I write short stories (compiling a book I want published before or when I die) and this is the "method" I usually use. As a matter of fact, my best stories (the ones that raise the hairs on people's necks and really make them think) were written this way and never needed editing or "touching up".
It is a great way to spill out what is in your heart and get it all out by the time you are done!


Moni

I'm at home now
I think I'll open up when i get to school (i have to go in about 5 minutes)
I only hope i won't start to cry what i did do almost everytime when i tried to talk about my problems

In any case
Javi You know I'll be there for you
As you are a true friend to me

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The Githyanki Necromancer - High Magician of the Holy Flame

[sylent]

I have pretty major mood swings, really high, and really low...
I usually like to write, I find it is pretty good to get feelings down on paper, in which ever style it may be. Either that, or I like to "try" and draw, and I say try, because I am not very good at it.
I also play guitar, which is great fun, it also cheers me up a lot of the time, which is great. I guess it is a pretty strange (unusual) hobby for someone of my age, but I play classical. Music by Bach, or Villa-Lobos. It is like Magik to me, I really love it...

You all seem to be in contact with each other via msn... my hotmail email addy is wild_cage@hotmail.com , so if any of you want to contact me, I would like it very much!

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"Watch your back"

Well I'm at school right now and I have a free houre so I'll tell you all the story of my life and the history of the "depression" right now (in any case if you know somone who is overly happy send him to this thread and this will cure him for live.)

I'm 16 years old now
And to be honest I have never had i True friend someone who posses all the stuff that i think a "true" friend needs Weither that is by fault of my own or just because there's nobody like me in my area Nescio
but in any case this is something that hurt me very much becoz I need someone Who I can talk to and with who I can share my feelings. Finding normal friends have never een the problem I always the positive side of people and I am fast to liking someone. But letting people in your heart so fast also means it's easy for them to really hurt you from the inside And that is what happend last couple of weeks/months. People i saw as being friends couldn't help me through my bad periodes and I don't think they really wanted to cause all they said was that i was ovrreacting Maybe I was but who will tell I think if you are a friend you really need to help your friend nomatter if he is overreacting.
Basicly the last couple of weeks has made me think about my life i ame to the simple conclusion except for my family nobody really cares about me. I have had small periodes of suicidal thoughts and I think if i would have gone thrugh with those plans people will feel bad coz it happend but would move on without me and forget all about me
now when i do talk about my problem to my friend they tell me that either i ovrreact (as stated before) or that I misinturpratate and that what they did wasn't meant that way or that they are sorry for what they did To be honest I think that is pure bullshit If you are a friend you should be able to know what the othr thinks and you should be sensitive towards his feeling. I always do that i never really talk to fast I always try to take other peoples feelings in concideration but when i comes to me this is To ■■■■■■■ hard for people
It has been a chain reaction that lead me to where i am now As i started out with a small loveproblem i found out i don't have any good friends and I never really had any good friends Doesn't it say enough i consider Javi to be one of my best friends? (cause i do and you never doubt that again) Someone who i never really seen or spoken for real? And to me this is worse then anything else could ever be

I dunno if you have read this I dunno if you would care
But i had to say this

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The Githyanki Necromancer - High Magician of the Holy Flame

[sylent]

Rikard, I read it, and I cared...
I know there is not much I can do, because really, I think what most people need, is to talk to someone who knows the situation well, but I (and I am sure there are others) am always willing to listen.

I have (and knowone probably noticed, because it was in the poll section) sat down, feeling like complete shit, and typed what I was feeling - pretty much totally.
Even if knowone was reading it, or caring, it felt good to write down what I was feeling. It helped me to organise things in my head, and I was able to deal with them a little better.

Don't give up mate, your family care, and we on the forum certainly do!

Glenn

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"Watch your back"

Nopt about to give up sylent
Not egoïstic enough to something to myself
That's the basic thing
Indeed just writing down your problems help a lot
But talking about it helps even more
I wish I could

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The Githyanki Necromancer - High Magician of the Holy Flame

Originally posted by Memnoch: Javi, since we spoke on MSN I won't post anything more here - until it's time for ME to share something. Glad to know you're in good spirits though.

Do You have MSN Again?


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The Githyanki Necromancer - High Magician of the Holy Flame

Rikard,
I read it and I care! You have friends here who will listen and do whatever they can to alleviate any bad feekings you have.
You have to understand re: your friends that 16 year olds on a whole are not that mature and it will be years before some of them understand the depth and sincerity of your feelings. In the meantime, consider what the ones said who you do think are mature (and deep enough) to really see the situation from your perspective. Not that you should cave and take their advice or accept that you are overreacting (becuse I know in your heart you don't feel like you are), but it will give you a chance to take a deeper look at what happened and how you are feeling about it, how important it is now and how important it will be ten years from now.
In the meantime, don't let the stress of it fill you with negativity, find other things to do and I bet the answer will come to you all by itself.

Love, Hugs & Peace,
Moni

Hm thanks Moni for caring
I just want to add one thing

I'm on the Gymnasium Which is the highest school anyone could go to in Holland
about not sure about this but about 10% goes to Gymnasium

With my friends there are people who are on Het Jongeren Lagerhuis which is a discussion program on TV People who are trying to go to the European Jouth Parlement to discuss and who are in youth departments of Polital things
These people do know how to be mature mostly but still...
maybe I'm just Paranoid and if i am Javi you have a bad influence on me 8D j/k

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The Githyanki Necromancer - High Magician of the Holy Flame