Email GAG: Choke or joke? You decide...

Yorick · 08-23-2001, 03:02 AM

Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in an IT company. During the
welcoming ceremony the boss says:■ "You're all part of our team now. You
can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for
something to eat.■ So don't trouble the other employees". The cannibals
promise not to trouble the other employees.

Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working■ very
hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you.■ One of our cleaners has
disappeared however.■ Do any of you know what happened to her?"■ The
cannibals disavow all knowledge of the missing cleaner.

After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the
others:■ "Which of you idiots ate the cleaner?"■ A■ hand raises
hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You fool!■ For
four weeks we've been eating Team Leaders, Managers, and Project
Managers so no-one would notice anything, and you have to go and eat the
cleaner!"

------------------
I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on....

A fair dinkum laughing Hyena!

Yorick · 08-23-2001, 03:05 AM

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US Naval
Ship and the■ Canadians, off the coast of Newfoundland, Oct 95. Radio
Conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid
a collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North,
to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to
the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert
YOUR course.

Canadians: Negative. I say again, You will have to divert your course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN. THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES ATLANTIC FLEET, WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS,THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT
YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S 15 DEGREES NORTH,
OR COUNTERMEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: We are a lighthouse.■ -■ your call.....

------------------
I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on....

A fair dinkum laughing Hyena!

Yorick · 08-23-2001, 03:17 AM

I can't remember if I posted this. It went like wildfire around Australia in three days, and then the applicable oriface, I mean office put out a press release that they would fine anyone who marked their referendum accordingly. At which point there was much outcry, joking and middlefingering

------------------------------------------

As some of you may know there is a census coming
around on August the 7th.

For those who don't know, a census is where the
government gets your details like number of people
in the house, religion, etc.

It is this last point that some clever bunny has
picked up on. If there are enough people in the
country, about 10000, who put down the
same religion, it becomes a fully recognised and
legal religion.

It is for this reason that it has been suggested
that anyone who does not have a dominant religion
put down "Jedi" as their religion.

So send this on to all your friends and tell them to
put down "Jedi"as their religion and we can have
"Jedi Knights" running around.

Yes, this is a Sci-Fi thing, but it will also ****
with the government. So if not because you love Star
Wars, then just to annoy people.

"May the Force be with you!"

------------------
I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on....

A fair dinkum laughing Hyena!

[This message has been edited by Yorick (edited 08-23-2001).]

250 · 08-23-2001, 03:19 AM

LOLOLOLOL

Redblueflare · 08-23-2001, 10:46 AM

LMAO! I can just see that captains face when the Canadians said that they were a lighthouse. To funny!

------------------
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I just don't have to listen.

adam warlock · 08-23-2001, 10:50 AM

yummy!

lololololol

------------------

get away from my homepage

Moridin · 08-23-2001, 10:51 AM

I wish I could have put 'Jedi'

Maybe we could start a campaign to put 'Luke Skywalker' or 'Yoda' as a right-in candidate for President?

------------------

Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig
I've got to admit it's getting better, it's getting better all the time

08-23-2001, 11:31 AM

What funny funnies!

I'd like to see Jedi become a religion LOL...man what that can add to the debates!!

Thanks Yorick!

------------------

You know childhood is over when a puddle seems like an obstacle instead of an opportunity.

Is Too! Is Not! Is Too! Is Not!

Yorick · 08-23-2001, 12:19 PM

Yeah

The funny thing is, how could they prosecute? You 'd just have to spout the teachings of Yoda, go into meditative poses and be really really calm.

Or, talk like this you could. Round the wrong way put your words. Funny it would be. Indeed, worth it it would be, for the joke.

------------------
I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on....

A fair dinkum laughing Hyena!

[This message has been edited by Yorick (edited 08-23-2001).]

domingo · 08-23-2001, 12:32 PM

That lighthouse thing is hillarious ..... I have heard that a group in texas or somewhere (Im not really sure) did that w/ the dopefish and actually have a religion now.

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08-23-2001, 03:02 AM	#1
Yorick Very Mad Bird Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Breukelen (over the river from New Amsterdam) Age: 52 Posts: 9,246	Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says:■ "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat.■ So don't trouble the other employees". The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees. Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working■ very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you.■ One of our cleaners has disappeared however.■ Do any of you know what happened to her?"■ The cannibals disavow all knowledge of the missing cleaner. After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others:■ "Which of you idiots ate the cleaner?"■ A■ hand raises hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You fool!■ For four weeks we've been eating Team Leaders, Managers, and Project Managers so no-one would notice anything, and you have to go and eat the cleaner!" ------------------ I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on.... A fair dinkum laughing Hyena!

08-23-2001, 03:05 AM	#2
Yorick Very Mad Bird Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Breukelen (over the river from New Amsterdam) Age: 52 Posts: 9,246	This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US Naval Ship and the■ Canadians, off the coast of Newfoundland, Oct 95. Radio Conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95. Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid a collision. Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North, to avoid a collision. Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. Canadians: Negative. I say again, You will have to divert your course. Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN. THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES ATLANTIC FLEET, WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS,THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTERMEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP. Canadians: We are a lighthouse.■ -■ your call..... ------------------ I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on.... A fair dinkum laughing Hyena!

08-23-2001, 03:17 AM	#3
Yorick Very Mad Bird Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Breukelen (over the river from New Amsterdam) Age: 52 Posts: 9,246	I can't remember if I posted this. It went like wildfire around Australia in three days, and then the applicable oriface, I mean office put out a press release that they would fine anyone who marked their referendum accordingly. At which point there was much outcry, joking and middlefingering ------------------------------------------ As some of you may know there is a census coming around on August the 7th. For those who don't know, a census is where the government gets your details like number of people in the house, religion, etc. It is this last point that some clever bunny has picked up on. If there are enough people in the country, about 10000, who put down the same religion, it becomes a fully recognised and legal religion. It is for this reason that it has been suggested that anyone who does not have a dominant religion put down "Jedi" as their religion. So send this on to all your friends and tell them to put down "Jedi"as their religion and we can have "Jedi Knights" running around. Yes, this is a Sci-Fi thing, but it will also **** with the government. So if not because you love Star Wars, then just to annoy people. "May the Force be with you!" ------------------ I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on.... A fair dinkum laughing Hyena! [This message has been edited by Yorick (edited 08-23-2001).]

08-23-2001, 03:19 AM	#4
250 Horus - Egyptian Sky God Join Date: March 4, 2001 Location: either CA or MO Age: 42 Posts: 2,674	LOLOLOLOL

08-23-2001, 10:46 AM	#5
Redblueflare Galvatron Join Date: May 9, 2001 Location: The backwoods in Georgia sigh Age: 39 Posts: 2,151	LMAO! I can just see that captains face when the Canadians said that they were a lighthouse. To funny! ------------------ Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I just don't have to listen.

08-23-2001, 10:50 AM	#6
adam warlock Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: I live inside of my mind..... Age: 53 Posts: 3,234	yummy! lololololol ------------------ get away from my homepage

08-23-2001, 10:51 AM	#7
Moridin Fzoul Chembryl Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Minneapolis, MN Posts: 1,735	I wish I could have put 'Jedi' Maybe we could start a campaign to put 'Luke Skywalker' or 'Yoda' as a right-in candidate for President? ------------------ Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig I've got to admit it's getting better, it's getting better all the time

08-23-2001, 11:31 AM	#8
Moni Guest Posts: n/a	What funny funnies! I'd like to see Jedi become a religion LOL...man what that can add to the debates!! Thanks Yorick! ------------------ You know childhood is over when a puddle seems like an obstacle instead of an opportunity. Is Too! Is Not! Is Too! Is Not!

08-23-2001, 12:19 PM	#9
Yorick Very Mad Bird Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Breukelen (over the river from New Amsterdam) Age: 52 Posts: 9,246	Yeah The funny thing is, how could they prosecute? You 'd just have to spout the teachings of Yoda, go into meditative poses and be really really calm. Or, talk like this you could. Round the wrong way put your words. Funny it would be. Indeed, worth it it would be, for the joke. ------------------ I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on.... A fair dinkum laughing Hyena! [This message has been edited by Yorick (edited 08-23-2001).]

08-23-2001, 12:32 PM	#10
domingo Zhentarim Guard Join Date: August 11, 2001 Location: St. George Utah USA Posts: 331	That lighthouse thing is hillarious ..... I have heard that a group in texas or somewhere (Im not really sure) did that w/ the dopefish and actually have a religion now.

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