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03-12-2002, 11:58 AM
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#1 |
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Harper
 Join Date: October 6, 2001
Location: Iceland
Posts: 4,706
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#1
Man: Where have you been all my life ? Woman: Hiding from you. #2 Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. #3 Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. #4 Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. #5 Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. #6 Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. #7 Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized. #8 Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. #9 Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? #10 Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing |
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03-12-2002, 02:59 PM
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#2 |
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Fzoul Chembryl
 Join Date: August 30, 2001
Location: somewhere
Age: 54
Posts: 1,785
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Ouchie, ouchie, ouchie, OUCH!
__________________
Master Barbsman and wielder of the razor wit!<br /><br />There are dark angels among us. They present themselves in shining raiment but there is, in their hearts, the blackness of the abyss. |
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03-12-2002, 03:21 PM
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#3 |
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Zartan
 Join Date: October 15, 2001
Location: Oslo, Norway
Age: 35
Posts: 5,367
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ROFLMAO!!!
Incredibly good, Jorath! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] Just a good thing that women dont use them... [img]tongue.gif[/img] see ya! |
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03-12-2002, 03:57 PM
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#4 |
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Iron Throne Cult
 Join Date: June 3, 2001
Location: There is no IRL, Only AFK.
Age: 35
Posts: 4,896
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Don't Tempt Fate Exxon!!
Good One Jorath, I'd Heard The Last Two, But The Others Were Great!!!
__________________
My pokemon bring all the boys to the yard, and they're like; you wanna trade cards? Damn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my Charizard. |
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03-12-2002, 04:01 PM
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#5 |
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Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
 Join Date: August 31, 2001
Location: Land of the Britons
Age: 37
Posts: 3,224
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LOL, those were great
I('ve heard a similar one to #6 M:What's your sign? F:Stop.
__________________
Resident cantankerous sorcerer of the Clan HADB<br />and Sorcerous Nuttella salesman of the O.R.T<br />  <br /><br />Say NO to the Trouser Tyranny! Can I drill you about this?
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03-12-2002, 04:17 PM
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#6 |
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Zhentarim Guard
 Join Date: January 7, 2002
Location: Oxford
Age: 40
Posts: 307
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~LOL~ great ones!! Here are some more funny question and answer ones. PREGNANCY Q & A: Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough. Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth. Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. A: So what's your question? Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? A: Right after you find out you're pregnant. Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you. Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? A: Yes, pregnancy. Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? A: When the kids are in college. 10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES": 1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. 5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1-800-***-." 6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting-practice. 7. You're convinced there's a God and he's male. 8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus. 9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy. 10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday. TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND: 10. Cats' facial expressions. 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors. 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds. 7. Fat clothes. 6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time. 5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell. 4. Cutting your fringe to make it grow. 3. Eyelash curlers. 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. AND, the Number One thing only women understand: 1. OTHER WOMEN
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~blows kisses around~<br />♥~¤Ê†ë®Ñï†Ý¤~♥<br /><br /><b>vulnerable... yet tempted </b><br /> 
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03-13-2002, 05:19 PM
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#7 |
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Hathor
 Join Date: October 11, 2001
Location: At My Computer
Age: 43
Posts: 2,217
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Very nice thread. I just thought i would voice my approval.
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Now the swinging bridge<br />Is quieted with creepers. . . <br />Like our tendrilled life. -Basho |
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