Dreamer or critic?

[Lord of Alcohol]

Hey Al, I'll take you up on your dare. I've read a lot of your posts so I guess I know a little bit about you. Not a lot but enough to form an opinion. So in answer to your dare I have found you to be a nice guy, one takes responsability for himself, and one who wants to better himself through the goals he is establishing. You have faith in yourself so thats my nice thing to say about you. Tell that to dad and if he doesnt believe it, well show him [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Lady Blue03]

Your dad sounds a lot like mine, Al. Except his moods are random. He can be nice encouraging, and everything i like him to be, then all of the sudden im a worthless piece of shite. It sucks. I tell him i can't do something cause i need to type something up for english and he won't let me because he thinks i'll play games instead. I've learned not to take it seriously, and that everytime he says stuff like that to me, it belittles him in my eyes. I dun think thats very healthy though

[Melusine]

Show him this thread!
I know it'd take a lot of courage and I can understand if you don't - your dad sounds like the sort of person who might just use it as another excuse to pick on you. But you never know, he may realise that you're a lot better person than he makes you out to be. [img]smile.gif[/img]
And like Johnny said, it might not be a bad idea to consider moving out in some time. Sounds like you could use a break from home.

[The Hierophant]

Your father seems to be battling with something. Now of course I'm speaking from complete ignorance as to your family's history and current situation, but from what you've said it would seem that your father is trying to escape from getting emotionally close to you by burning any emotional bridge that might exist between you. His alcoholism and callous disrespect to you seem to show that he has some inner demons that arn't letting him face the outside world with anything less than a hostile face. He seems to be moving toward a self-fulfilling prophecy of the "Don't get too fond of people, boy. We live, and live to die." that you mentioned.

I think Mel and Johnny are onto things here, try and get some time away from home, away from the stifling environment and frustrating rejection. Get your bearings, sort out your direction. 17 is an ok age to move out. I moved out at 17, took a short while to get used to the responsibility, but I love the freedom of it now (at age 20).
Sometimes you just have to give the flames time to die down before you can start rebuilding the wreckage. And while he may or may not be willing to face whatever it is that's making him be like this, you can rest assured in the knowledge that you love your father and that you arn't willing to give up on him.

[Evil Al]

[img]smile.gif[/img] Things are already looking up. I checked this thread this morning but had to run out to go to college (I had my induction day today!). I decided that there was no time like the present and getting away for a while will be a good idea. As soon as I got home I rang "Safeway" (A chain of supermarkets) in Peterhead (the closest town) and asked if they hasd jobs suitable for a student. They said yes and they won't expect me to work on Sundays either! Here's the really cool part, before I even asked the question, the lady said that I could get a transfer to Aberdeen (where I go to college) any time I wanted (if I prove myself a good worker). Once more, when I went to college today, I didn't expect that anyone I knew from school would be in any of my classes, but I found that a good friend of mine is in all the same classes as me. Even better than that, he's looking for a flat mate in October, so that should give me enough time to save up money from working! I showed my Dad this thread this morning but didn't say anything about it when I was there, though he did say to my mum that he hasn't done anything to me, its what he hasn't done... I'm not sure what that means, but I guess I'll find out tonight.

What a happy coincidance (cough*mirrcle*cough). Yay! Part of my prayers have come true! Now all God needs to do for me is to help Moni and her mum, help Moni like peas (they're good for you [img]smile.gif[/img] ), to help Jen with her father too and to make him notice how lucky he is to have a daughter like her. When I was praying last night, I flicked through my bible and read the passage (can't remember chapter or verse) But it said something like "Call no other Father but Me". So that's like God telling me, that he's my Father and he loves me no matter what. [img]smile.gif[/img] .

It really helps knowing that I have friends here and that I have a loving Father and Saviour.

Cheers LoA, and not a mention of a morter round in sight [img]smile.gif[/img] .

Hierophant, you're right, he is battling with himself. Maybe its time that I should try and take control of the situation. I had given up on trying to talk to him sometime ago, but maybe I should start again. Sooner or later he's bound to realise that it's better to love one-an-other on this earth so we can love each other forever in Heaven. All the while I shall bare in mind Moni's advice and not expect much.

[Kaltia]

My mother is alright, someone I can talk to, but my dad is just so annoying, to be polite. He flies into sudden rages of temper so suddenly I can't even begin to detect his mood, shouts, kicks holes in the wall, and just generally calls me every name undere the sun. My little brother too. For example, I had breakfast today and spilt a bit of milk, so he roared the roof down and yelled that I was "Just going to leave it there you lazy slut". I hate him most of the time but then, sometimes he's okay. both my parents screwed up their lives and pressure me not to, so I just want to walk out on them sometimes, y'know? But since I'm only 15, the best I can do is head up to my bedroom...I'm not allowed to slam the door or else I'll get shouted at and maybe slapped. I wish he'd just make an effort to be civil and not swear so much! It really makes me feel awkward when i have my friends over to stay and I try to make sure he's at university or his friend's house, but he finished uni last summer and is at home nearly all the time looking for jobs! The pressure is getting him stressed and of course that only serves to stoke his temper! I spend most of the time up in my bedroom reading or playing the computer, now, 'cause my local area is crammed full of townies so you can't go out without being shot with an air gun or whatever.
It's driving me nuts.

[Evil Al]

Originally posted by Kaltia: My mother is alright, someone I can talk to, but my dad is just so annoying, to be polite. He flies into sudden rages of temper so suddenly I can't even begin to detect his mood, shouts, kicks holes in the wall, and just generally calls me every name undere the sun. My little brother too. For example, I had breakfast today and spilt a bit of milk, so he roared the roof down and yelled that I was "Just going to leave it there you lazy slut". I hate him most of the time but then, sometimes he's okay. both my parents screwed up their lives and pressure me not to, so I just want to walk out on them sometimes, y'know? But since I'm only 15, the best I can do is head up to my bedroom...I'm not allowed to slam the door or else I'll get shouted at and maybe slapped. I wish he'd just make an effort to be civil and not swear so much! It really makes me feel awkward when i have my friends over to stay and I try to make sure he's at university or his friend's house, but he finished uni last summer and is at home nearly all the time looking for jobs! The pressure is getting him stressed and of course that only serves to stoke his temper! I spend most of the time up in my bedroom reading or playing the computer, now, 'cause my local area is crammed full of townies so you can't go out without being shot with an air gun or whatever. It's driving me nuts.

I know the feeling Kaltia, but I guess I'm lucky in the way that my dad doesn't hit me anymore. Mainly cause I can hit back now. There is no excuss for a man hitting his daughter. I for one, would not lay a fingure on a girl. It bullying pure and simple. I'm the same way with my friends as you are with yours, but he normally doesn't say anything when my friends are over. I'm just worried about if he did say something, what would it be? I also just play my computer and read. When I do see my friends I normally go to their house or wak around the village with Joe. We're kind of lucky, we only get accosted in the street every once in a while, due to the fact that the townies have got over Joe being a Goth and me dressing in black.

Even though you're not that much younger than me its still harder, less freedom ect.

I think the worce thing for me is that I work in the BBs and have helped one of my boys through a problem with his parents. I could really relate to him, but I though I could help solve his problem cause I could solve my problem.

What I've learned, just in the last few days is, don't let it drive you nuts. If you or anyone would like to talk about this in more depth your more than welcome to email me (nails_the_git@hotmail.com) or PM me about it. I have limited training as a youth counciller, but apart from that it helps to talk about things.

Originally posted by Evil Al: [img]smile.gif[/img] Now all God needs to do for me is to help Moni and her mum, help Moni like peas (they're good for you [img]smile.gif[/img] )

Evil Al,
I am very very happy about all of your good news today! Best of luck with the job, school, your mate and your family! I hope the night goes well with your dad. I am kinda worried. Have you considered asking your dad to attend church with you? It might be just what he needs. I know it changed my mom for a few years way back when. [img]smile.gif[/img]

As for your aspirations quoted above...just leave my mum in God's hands and take none of it to your own heart, He is the only one who can handle her and the situation between us...it is all between her and God in the long run.
As for peas, I'd like to be able to eat them because I know how healthy they are but the smell and taste literally make me gag...always has LOL. I can't count the number of plates with peas on them that I woke up with my head in from "staying there until you eat it" LOL!

Thank you for your love and concern, you are a blessing to everyone whose path you cross.

Hugs & God Bless,

[Evil Al]

Originally posted by Moni: qb]

Evil Al,
I am very very happy about all of your good news today! Best of luck with the job, school, your mate and your family! I hope the night goes well with your dad. I am kinda worried. Have you considered asking your dad to attend church with you? It might be just what he needs. I know it changed my mom for a few years way back when. [img]smile.gif[/img]

As for your aspirations quoted above...just leave my mum in God's hands and take none of it to your own heart, He is the only one who can handle her and the situation between us...it is all between her and God in the long run.
As for peas, I'd like to be able to eat them because I know how healthy they are but the smell and taste literally make me gag...always has LOL. I can't count the number of plates with peas on them that I woke up with my head in from "staying there until you eat it" LOL!

Thank you for your love and concern, you are a blessing to everyone whose path you cross.

Hugs & God Bless,[/QB][/QUOTE]

Thank you Moni . I've asked my Dad to attend Church with me on Sunday several times. He only answered politly last night, he said, "Nah, though I now respect your decision to go, your church is just too different for my taste." He then asked me if I could recomned another one so he's going to the methodist church and taking my mum. He assures me its just to see what its like ( God is good). Don't worry about me taking to heart the thing with your mother, I think it helps. I've also noticed that my prayers for other people are answered more often than prayers for myself.

You never know, it might be part of Gods plan. One thing I can see for the future is we're less likly to make the same mistake as our parent. [img]smile.gif[/img]

God bless and keep the faith sister!

[Lord Lothar]

Good Job Evil Al. I just checked out this thread today and will think of you and your dad in my prayers. I'm glad your decided to go to church. Perhaps through Christ your family can heal and bond together.