A dog named sex

Stormymystic · 05-15-2003, 05:09 PM

My Dog Named Sex
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Same here!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I can't live any longer being so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so go get yourself a dog."

DJG · 05-15-2003, 05:13 PM

LOL!

Nanobyte · 05-15-2003, 05:17 PM

[img]graemlins/1pokeme.gif[/img]

Gangrell · 05-15-2003, 05:20 PM

[img]graemlins/dogrun.gif[/img]

[img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

Stratos · 05-15-2003, 05:38 PM

Hehe...now those were really funny. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

Vaskez · 05-15-2003, 05:58 PM

LMAO!

Kakero · 05-15-2003, 06:57 PM

when people asked, you could say it's Sax not Sex.

T/-/alali · 05-15-2003, 07:29 PM

Now I know what to name my next dog!! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Blind_Prophet · 05-15-2003, 08:40 PM

FOFLMAO!!!

that was friggin hilarious

LennonCook · 05-16-2003, 02:17 AM

I had a dog. I called him Stay. "Come here, Stay, come here, Stay"... he went insane. [img]smile.gif[/img]

05-15-2003, 05:09 PM	#1
Stormymystic Knight of the Rose Join Date: April 8, 2003 Location: Arkansas Age: 48 Posts: 4,442	My Dog Named Sex Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on. When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!" One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off. When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Same here!" Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday. Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I can't live any longer being so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so go get yourself a dog." __________________ [url]\"http://stormymystic.deviantart.com/gallery/\" target=\"_blank\"> [img]\"http://img92.imageshack.us/img92/3968/stormyvx6.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /></a>

05-15-2003, 05:38 PM	#5
Stratos Vampire Join Date: January 29, 2003 Location: Sweden Age: 43 Posts: 3,888	Hehe...now those were really funny. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] __________________ Nothing is impossible, it's just a matter of probability.

05-15-2003, 05:58 PM	#6
Vaskez Takhisis Follower Join Date: April 30, 2001 Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now) Posts: 5,089	LMAO! __________________ Too set in his ways to ever relate If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray

05-15-2003, 07:29 PM	#8
T/-/alali Baaz Draconian Join Date: September 8, 2002 Location: Cornelius,NC Age: 36 Posts: 700	Now I know what to name my next dog!! [img]tongue.gif[/img] __________________ I am the Ferret king, master of the hordes, allied to Someguy\'s mighty pinguins, we will soon rule the world!

05-15-2003, 08:40 PM	#9
Blind_Prophet Symbol of Cyric Join Date: November 10, 2001 Location: Yokosuka Japan Age: 38 Posts: 1,168	FOFLMAO!!! that was friggin hilarious __________________ The height of narcissism

05-15-2003, 05:13 PM	#2
DJG Symbol of Cyric Join Date: March 16, 2001 Location: Manchester, England Age: 35 Posts: 1,109	LOL!

05-15-2003, 05:17 PM	#3
Nanobyte Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: NC Age: 38 Posts: 2,890	[img]graemlins/1pokeme.gif[/img]

05-15-2003, 05:20 PM	#4
Gangrell Iron Throne Cult Join Date: January 2, 2003 Location: Big Castle in the Sky Age: 36 Posts: 4,835	[img]graemlins/dogrun.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

05-15-2003, 06:57 PM	#7
Kakero 40th Level Warrior Join Date: March 24, 2002 Posts: 10,215	when people asked, you could say it's Sax not Sex.

05-16-2003, 02:17 AM	#10
LennonCook Jack Burton Join Date: November 10, 2001 Location: Bathurst & Orange, in constant flux Age: 37 Posts: 5,452	I had a dog. I called him Stay. "Come here, Stay, come here, Stay"... he went insane. [img]smile.gif[/img]

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