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Old 05-01-2001, 08:35 PM   #1
Vaskez
Takhisis Follower
 

Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
Hehe, I read this somewhere that these things were actually said in courts of law during proper trials in Massachusetts, USA (dunno how true this is ):

Lawyer: could u describe briefly what happened?
Witness: well the first car reversed out of the driveway and straight into the side of the other car which was moving slowly down the road.
Lawyer: and how far apart were the cars at the time of the collision?
________

Lawyer: so the date of conception of your baby was august the 12th?
defendant: yes
Lawyer: and what were you doing at this time?
________

Lawyer: so he had 3 children you say?
witness: yes
Lawyer: How many were boys?
witness: none
Lawyer: were there any girls?
________

Lawyer: was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?
________

Lawyer: you were there until the time you left, is this true?
________

Lawyer: were you present when your picture was taken?
________


Hmm, wonder what our american brethren have to say?

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Old 05-01-2001, 08:38 PM   #2
Rikard
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Is This Humor

I don't see it

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Old 05-01-2001, 08:38 PM   #3
Lord of Alcohol
Xanathar Thieves Guild
 

Join Date: January 8, 2001
Location: Charlotte,NC
Age: 60
Posts: 4,570
Well speaking as an American we have one hell of a lot of idiots!
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Old 05-01-2001, 08:40 PM   #4
Rikard
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Just look at your president
(excuses for anyone who didn't want to vote for Gore)

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Old 05-01-2001, 08:41 PM   #5
Vaskez
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Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
location: Russian submarine

Misa to Captain: Captain Sir! An enemy vessel is approcahing!
Captain: Nothing to worry about Misa, just go to my cabin and get a bottle of vodka and my red shirt.
Misa doesn't understand why, but does as ordered and the russians win. Next day:
Misa: Captain Sir, 3 enemy vessels approaching!
Captain: Nothing to worry about Misa, just go to my cabin and get 3 bottles of vodka and my red shirt.
Again Misa doesn't understand but does as ordered.
The russians win again. Misa can't take it any longer and asks what the vodak and red shirt are for.
Captain: The vodka gives me courage and the red shirt is needed so that the men can't see when I get injured.
Next day.
Misa: Captain Sir! 7 enemy vessels approaching!
Captain: Nothing to worry about Misa, just bring me 7 bottles of vodka and my brown trousers.
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Old 05-01-2001, 08:54 PM   #6
Vaskez
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Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
Well speaking of dumb american politicians, in Hungary (where I was born), half the jokes u find are about cops cos the cops there are so dumb in general. Quite a few good ones but bear in mind I am translating these so the wording may not be perfect.....
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Old 05-01-2001, 08:54 PM   #7
Fljotsdale
Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom
 

Join Date: March 12, 2001
Location: Birmingham, West Mid\'s, England
Age: 87
Posts: 2,859
Hysterical giggles!

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Smile! Life is too short for bitching!

Fljotsdale
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Old 05-01-2001, 08:55 PM   #8
Vaskez
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Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
Cop's walking on the beach with his son..
- Hey dad look, a dead seagull!
Cop looks up at the sky.
- Where?
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Old 05-01-2001, 08:58 PM   #9
Vaskez
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Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
Two cops are walking along the pavement and they see a policeman's truncheon lying on the ground:

- Hey! Isn't that Tom's?
- It couldn't be you idiot! He's lost his!


_______________________________________________


What do 2 cops argue over when getting into the car?
Which one gets to sit next to the window
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Old 05-01-2001, 09:03 PM   #10
Vaskez
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Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
Cop buys a railway ticket.
- Return please.
- Where to?
- Well what do you think? Back here of course!
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