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Old 09-04-2004, 11:26 PM   #1
Vaskez
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Join Date: April 30, 2001
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I just can't resist the urge to share with you guys the "genius" (you'll see what I mean) of some of the commentary team covering Athens 2004 for Hungarian national TV. This is a list of quotes from the commentators (obviously translated by me for your amusement) spoken live on TV. I heard half of them live myself, the others I got in email. Not THAT funny in themselves, but hilarious when you imagine them being said live on TV.

- The Croatian goalkeeper's hobby is bird-watching, although he didn't see this one fly. Hmmm I suppose a ball isn't a bird... (Hungary-Croatia men's water polo after a shot goes in)

- If Jokics didn't foul just now as well as Steinmetz then I'll eat his hat, even the one he is only now putting back onto his head. (Men's water polo final Hungary-Serbia)

- Goooooooaaaal! Oh My God!! We're in the lead! But now we have a big problem...the match isn't over. I said we needed just a little incy-wincy goal, we didn't need such a massive net-ripper! I wouldn't be surprised if the Greeks charged us for the net. We'll all chip in of course and help the lads out...(after Hungary scores and takes the lead 2 minutes before the end of the men's water polo final. The commentator had previously said that even a little goal would do, he wouldn't be fussy if it wasn't a huge goal.)

- Well, dear viewers, I never thought that 13 men in swimming trunks could make me cry... (after Hungary won the men's water polo final against Serbia)

- The Serbs always slip up on a Hungarian banana skin (again, after the water polo match)

- Our players are already hugging each other on the bench. Male love is a beautiful thing at times like these... (Hungary-South Korea, men's handball)

- Gál is all on his own! Gál could've even sat down for an afternoon snack...(Hungary-South Korea, men's handball)

- And the Korean steps up to take the penalty. His record shows that he's scored 14 out of 21 penalties. This means that he misses every 3rd one! Please let him now start with that 3rd one! But he scores! He paid no attention to me. Rude boy...(Hungary-South Korea, men's handball)

- The Russian keeper always seems to move the limb with which he then makes the save! (Hungary-Russia, men's handball)

- There is indeed a space between Lavrov's legs. Enough room for a ball there!
(Hungary-Russia, men's handball)

- If Lavrov let in a few easy goals then I'd buy him something small for his 43rd birthday which he is celebrating in March. (Hungary-Russia, men's handball bronze medal match)

- Syllvester Stallone in Cliffhanger didn't hang on as much as we would need to now to win this match...(Hungary-Russia, men's handball)

- I am sad to announce that once again the penalty will not be taken against an empty goal. (Hungary-Germany men's handball, after Hungary had had their last 3 penalties saved)

- Let's adopt Zeitz quickly, or do SOMETHING with him! (Hungary-Germany, men's handball)

- That was a foot there! It wasn't deliberate! I mean a man doesn't have a foot on purpose. But I suppose the movement WAS deliberate. (Hungary-Germany, men's handball, after a player was about to be suspended because someone tripped over his foot)

- And a warm welcome to the viewers on Channel 2. The score is 24-21 in our favour on all channels.


- That was a hand there! The Argentinian player used too many of his feet there, even the one that is a hand...(Argentina-Italy football semi-final)

- And Montao's been suspended from Brazil! Poor girl, now where will she go home to? (Hungary-Brazil, women's handball)

- The frenchwoman's telling her to calm down. It'd be nice if she also helped to calm me down. But she's not helping. She doesn't even care about me... (Hungary-France, woman's handball quarter-final)

- Hey, they didn't blow the whistle when she used her foot! Then the french have 4 hands??? And Pállinger has hands and feet everywhere! (Hungary-France, handball, the ball had just bounced off one of the french players' foot, after which the Hungarian keeper, Pállinger, saved the French shot)

- Nicolas has realised that she can only protect the French goal when the French are in posession and when that's the case, there's not much point (said as the French keeper limped off in pain from an ankle injury, Hungary-France, women's handball)

- What was that??! Our players didn't bend down for the ball! We're not at that age yet, girls! (Hungary-France, women's handball, after the French shot bounced off the goal post, the ball rolled out of the area and a French player bent down to pick it up then scored)

- Hang on, what did we just beat them to? The main thing is they got beaten. (Hungary-Brazil, women's handball)

- Now I've got to the stage where I think one Nacsevski is enough! (Hungary-Brazil, women's handball, siblings Dragan Nacsevszki and Marjan Nacsevszki were the officials)

- Vori fell on his ass when we scored! Excuse the expression. And he made a massive skid mark on the floor! (Hungary-Croatia, men's handball semi-final)

- And the Spanish coach deprives us of the sight of Oncina's thighs by taking her to the other side of the court! (Spain-Hungary women's handball)

- We don't know much about the Icelandic swimmer's past performances but on first glance, her name is at least 20 letters long! (Women's 100m butterfly, the swimmer in question: Kristjansdottir Kolbrun)

- Ting-Li and her partner's name is not Tang-Li, but rather, Sun Tien-Tien (chinese women's tennis doubles pair)

- And Ákos Kállai seems to stand out and excel among the rest with his red shoes! This might be superstition, but who cares? Let him wear 5-day old socks, or neglect to shave, I don't care what charm he uses, so long as he wins! (men's pentathlon, fencing event)

- And Zsuzsa Voros is about to earn our I don't know how manieth gold! (women's pentathlon)

- She's swimming in lane 5, 5th from the top. (pentathlon)

- And the olympic flag is now in it's rightful place! On top of the flag pole. (olympics opening ceremony)

- This runner who is now carrying the olympic flame didn't first see the light of day in his birthplace, he only went back there at age 21. (Said about Gallis, Greek basketball player at the opening ceremony)



[ 09-04-2004, 11:30 PM: Message edited by: Vaskez ]
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Too set in his ways to ever relate
If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay
But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave
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Old 09-05-2004, 08:19 AM   #2
Vaskez
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cleverly placed bump
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Old 09-05-2004, 08:34 AM   #3
Hivetyrant
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Join Date: August 24, 2002
Location: Aussie now in the US of A!
Age: 37
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Hehehe, not a bad read [img]smile.gif[/img]
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Old 09-05-2004, 04:25 PM   #4
dplax
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Join Date: July 19, 2003
Location: an expat living in France
Age: 38
Posts: 5,577
Good ones. Of course there are also the old classics from other olympics like:

"And there comes the hungarian flag: Red, white and I can't see the third color." - by the now deceased Knezics.
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