My Depression

I know this is offtopic and I would've loved to resort to alcohol or something even worse, but this place has been so nice to me and I'd thought I'd find a little happiness by posting around here.
I'm not depressed because it's 4.17AM in the morning - and I still can't sleep. Not that I care anyway, because my life feel so shit right now and I don't think that I'm going to college tomorrow either: I'm bunking everybody (But I have my reasons)

I'm feeling really low everybody and I'm sorry if I make you feel bad too. It's just that if I post things here I feel a lot better and it's off my chest.

Don't even ask me why I'm depressed, but let's simply put it as being dumped by your new girlfriend on the telephone this afternoon alright?? Don't ask me any more because I'd probably get angry and do something that I might regret.

You don't have to say anything, you didn't even have to read this thread. But knowing that it's here and HERE ONLY - Makes my life worth living a bit longer. A picture of happy things (self-drawn or scanned......whatever) might bring back some smiles, post it here if you wish - don't ask me. I can't think straight and I'm getting a terrible headache.

Sorry People If I Upset You Or Spoilt Your Good Mood, I Really Am.
I need some time to get over this.

Yours
Wah

Sorry Wah, I don't have a picture or a even a scanner.
All I can say is sorry to hear it, but their will be others......crap i not being much help there am I?
Be happy

Well I am not sure i have alot to add to the sagely advice allready given so maybe i will reinforce some of it.

First you are not alone. When I was a teen I spent three years with someone who I cared alot for (at that time I thought it was love). One night I was out with my friends (my girlfriend was grounded at the moment) at the local party spot. Upon walking down a hill and rounding a corner we spotted a car. Feeling sort of impish we thought we would be rude and approach the car which was obviously filled with love birds and yes they were "singing". Imagine my surpirise when I discovered my long time gal getting it on with someone else! Needless to say I was hurt beyond belief and cruelly imbarassed in front of my friends.
It took me the better part of a few years to really get over that. Nothing anyone said made me feel better. I did not feel alone though as others had obviously trodden down this lonely road before me.
If she had not "dumped me" i would have spent much more time with her. It was only much later that i figured out how much better off I was without her. I would have stayed at the same college and wound up taking a different job in a different field. I would have never and I mean never been in the place
I met my wife. Our paths would never have crossed. Daily i thank that slut for revealing her true colors in time for my river of life to flow in a new direction. Had I continued to damup my life with her, I would not be the me that is here today.
So I guess what I am saying is that life is an unexplored river you continually follow until it exits into the sea. You chance upon a bend or a fork in the path and the one you choose (or chooses you sometimes) will lead you to places you can't get to by taking the other tributary. It does not mean that any path is better than the other or less painful.
What I encourage you to do is froce yourself to think of the opportunites that have been afforded to you by the path you are now on.
It is very easy to take the route of less resistance and think of what could have been. I challenge you to take the path less travelled and think of the things that are now possible that could not have been before.

I will get you started with one such possibilty, others may add to them if they wish.

You will not have to worry about explaing where you were or what you did last night and why you did not call. In short you are now free to do the things that you always liked and she never approved of. I would be more specific but i do not know you well enough to know your likes.

Hey man, nothing I can say here will help. Just wanted you to know I care and this board would miss you. Email me if you need to talk about it. It's in my profile. Just wanted to let you know someone cares.

BK

You know that we all support you Wah. If you can give us an idea of what kinda pics you want to see, I could put some up for you. Got one of those programs that has like 5000 pics, but not sure what you want. Hey, just find Jerome and put some smack down on him. You'll feel better. Everyone else does.

*j/k Jerome*

[turbovee]

Wah, we're all here for ya buddy. I know your going through some shit right now and I wanted to share some stuff with you. I was in your shoes as a teenager. I had a girlfriend that I had been going out with for my entire Senior year and decided to join the Navy. We were the same age, but she was a year behind me. I graduated at 17. I thought we were totally in love. She said she would wait for me to come back from boot camp and then I would take her with me when she graduated. Boot camp was only two months long and when I came back, she had already found a new boyfriend and told me that it wasn't going to work. I was devastated and depressed for quite awhile. I went back to the Navy and got myself drunk quite alot and was even contemplating suicide.

Now here's where it changes. I'm 28 now and after 10 years and a lot of growing up, time has shown me that as emotionally wrecked as I was that I have come along way and put it behind me. I found a much better woman to share my life with and realize that while it hurt then it made me a stronger person today.

Don't let this incident be the deciding moment in your young life. Take it and learn from it. Grow stronger because of it. You WILL look back on your life someday as I have mine and realize that it was part of your journey in becoming an adult. There are so many things I have yet to learn and will go through my fair share of disappointments before my time comes, but that's all part of being a person. What we decide to do with these things defines us and makes us more real. There are always people who will care about you and even though they may not be an intricate part of your life you still affect them in someway as you have affected everyone on this board. There are people on this board like myself who have never really held a dialogue with you, but read and enjoy your wit.

We support you and wish you the best while you tangle with your situation. sincerely Turbo

[WOLFGIR]

I howl with you in your pain, i know it ain´t much but sometimes there are not much that could be done or undone. Jut know that I have walked that path you´re embarking on my friend and that as long as you wish I´ll howl with you!

[Memnoch]

Wah, here's a poem which I keep posting here but more than anything really helped put things in perspective for me. I used to think that if i got into a relationship and it didn't work out, i'd wasted all that time (being a Leo and all). Then I met this amazing Canadian girl, a model, at a nightclub in April last year in Sydney and we really hit it off. I found out she was only in Sydney for 3 months. We had a bit of fun for a while then it got serious, but that freaked me out because i didn't want to get serious with someone who wasn't going to be in Sydney long term, because i didn't want to get hurt. We had this talk and she said something that really changed my entire perspective on relationships.

Every relationship, good or bad, long or short, is teaching you something about the person you will ultimately be with. So as long as you learn from every experience it's actually helped you work out within yourself who you are ultimately going to be with. So I took the plunge, got serious, she went back to Canada in August, been there since, but I'm happy!

Not quite your experience but I guess what I'm trying to say is look at the bright side. My girlfriend also gave me this poem, it really helped me out. Hope it helps you man!

Come the Dawn

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning,
And company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to understand that
Kisses aren't contracts,
And presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head held high and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman or a man
Not the grief of a child.

You learn to build your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
If you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure,
That you really are strong, that you really have worth,
And you learn and learn and you learn
With every goodbye, you learn.

Rejection can hurt a lot, even though it's only a state of mind. Dwell on it or realise that there'll always be a better option. You won't necessarily see it coming; don't abandon all hope. I wrote this the night my fiancee accepted my proposal.

---

Our friendship grown from moments shared,
Four years I give to pointless tales,
A bond will form as time moves on,
A choice is made, innocence fails,

No more am I bound to you than the sand unto the sea,
I am I, my thoughts are mine, and mine alone to know;
I don't need your pity or empathy, I won't hold your outstretched hand,
My only want is for loneliness, shadowed memories in tow.

The sun now sets, the moon will rise,
Another wasted day,
For still I feel the bitter cold,
This chill abounds, for warmth I pray,

I seek the gentle comfort in the candle of your soul,
Tired I grow of the worthless life of one who bars their doors,
It is easy to live alone, give trust only to yourself,
But I'd prefer to embrace the freedom that comes from being chained.

---

And I'm not a masochist. It's a figure of speech... press on, Wah.

[WOLFGIR]

That´s very nice Memnoch.
Takes strength to get there and Wah will lend you what strength we can to make you build your own garden.

Just one warning about alcohol! i know this one just to good to be dismissed!! I resorted to alcohol and lived something of a haze a complete summer, i coulnd´t sleep for more than an hour each night if i didn´t had a drink, I had what I thought was the perfect relationship, it had been flowering for five years, happy good, we shared most things but then it abruptly ended and everything and i mean everything lost their meaning. I took what I could but there wasn´t enough, to be blunt and use an old phrase I tried to drown my sorrows and damn, I gave it my best effort but the bastards learned to swim. i couldn´t escape drunk, sober or whatever.. i had to kill parts of myself to be able to get through and well I have nearly done so, but I will never ever be he same person ever again. Now I wont tell you to never drink alcohol because sometimes you need good reboot to the systems to understand what you are going, it´s just that it´s a very dangerous way to get there.

And about you being low and everyhting, thats just how things are and that you takes it up here is a really good thing because you cn get it out of your syste, tell us let us hear you, this is the best way to get through it my friend, and i hope you find the strength to do so..