things people just don't do

[Redblueflare]

Well 250, I think I also think your Girlfriend is worth a second chance. As far as I know, people go out of their way to make sure they don't make the same mistake twice. If you love her, and she loves you, it'll be worth it.

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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I just don't have to listen.

[250]

Hiram Sedai, THANK YOU SO MUCH! ** you sure you dont want to join my campaigne? **

RedBlueFlare
I am not sure that if she loves me, then again, at THIS point, I cannot make decisions based on my judgement or anyone else's for that matter

[Cloudbringer]

250! I think you should relax and see how things go. Maybe your girlfriend has something on her mind and she just doesn't want to talk yet or maybe she's distracted by something else? It's hard to say. Losing her job may have upset her mor than she admits, too.

Hang in there, and I hope it all works out for you!!!

Cloudy

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Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan
CloudDragon of the OHF
Storm-Queen
Raven's Cloud
StormCloud of the Black Knight: Heart Mind Soul Forever
"To sleep, perchance to dream..."

[Lifetime]

Hey 250, I know what you have to put up with. I've learnt the hard way that just because a girl "cares" for you when you're with her (you know what I mean), doesnt mean she'll "care" when mistakes like these happen. Unless of course she saw you inside the store, and refused to walk in, which would just be plain selfish.
I know girls like that though. I backed off for a long while, then got drawn in again, till I finally convinced myself that though I still long for them every once in a while, its for the best and my personal health that I stay away.
And the use of the word love is very inappropriate for lots of people these days. Just cause she tells you she loves you doesnt mean she knows what she's talking about. Take her, and yourself with a grain of salt. Love doesnt just mean flying to San Fran. Granted, its more of a thing than I'd ever do, and if you really do love her, and believe it, I applaud you. Its the whole Romeo + Juliet thing.. Love or Infatuation? Young men do crazy things when they're convinced they're in love, and the meaning of the word "love" itself is very much debatable. Some use it more casually than others, and it means different things to different people.

And remember dude..
Laid. Back.
Let her come to you, and test the waters.

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No-Name Face

[250]

right, no hurt trying
thanks

[250]

as for now, I dont really know what to believe, cannot really think, I will just stick with friends, school work and RP

"Villiany is forgivable, ingratitude, never"

You were standing in the wind for that long? There are not many that would do this 250. I would feel stood up after 1 hour. Your true to stay for that long and wait for her. The fact that she didnt try to signal for you or something is kind of reflective of herself. Self might be the right word here. Well, this is mho. In my past some of the relationships that I had felt like I was standing in the wind for days! One time I drove 2 hours one way, waited for 1 before I knew I was stood up. When I called her the next day to see what happened she said "oh sorry about that, can we go out this week end?" I said yes..meet me at this place at 7:00pm. Rumor had it she never showed for that one either..hehe We never spoke again. Dating and relationships are hard enough even when both people are into it. So be cool and just have fun 250!!

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[MILAMBER]

Damn, you waited for 5 hours? She would have been lucky if I stuck around for 30 minuites! Anyways, good call on cooling things off for a bit. You don't ever want to be the one who puts all the effort into a long distance relationship. Try and get her to come out and visit you. See if it's important enough to her.

Moni- Good to see ya! It's been awhile!

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"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
-General George Patton (1885-1945)

Member of CLAN HADB

Now, as some of you know, I went to San Francisco for my friend's birthday, 5 hours on the plane. We had a nice time on friday, and we decided to meet again on Saturday at the store where she works at 3:00pm. Then she decided to quit her job all of a sudden (on Saturday) we had no means of communication, so I went to the store on time, and waited for her for FIVE hours, 2 hours in the wind what pisses me off is, she DID came to the store at about 5:00pm, and she didn't go in because she 'didn't want to see the manager and explain everything' After I told her I am pissed off at what she did, she said "I am not gonna blame myself for this, I did go look for you, but you were in the store." B]

There has been lots of good advice, 250, by your friendds here. But (as usual) I seem to see some things a little differently.

As to your self-promise to observe, give her a second chance and *then* tell her to shove off: There's an old saying--Once, shame on you. Twice, shame on me.

Let me see if I have this straight:

First of all, you travelled a long way for her birthday and spent what seems to have been a pleasant evening. Then Sat. she ups and decides to quit her job--without telling you the night before this was a possibility OR trying to notify you in any way of the change in plans. *Then* she says she didn't want to go inside where, presumably, she would be confronted by her boss as to why she failed to show up for work. She *knew* you would be there on or about 3pm and still did not bother to show until two hours later (actually later than that)with a damned lame excuse. To top it all off, she then refused to accept any responsibility in a fracas of her (and hers alone) own doing.

Now I ask you, 250, your feelings for her aside, are these the actions of someone who truly and deeply cares for *YOU*? Her total disregard for your feelings and inconvenience, not to mention the inconvenience of her now defunct boss, do not say so to me. I do not know her, I only know the situation as I have read you so eloquently share here. But I do know people. She may care for you, but she cares for herself much more.

Don't get me wrong, one should care for oneself! *No one* can make another happy--only you yourself can make you happy. But if this comes at the expense of another to such a degree *and* you deny any responsibility in the hurting of the other, then there is a serious problem which needs be addressed.

Perhaps she had valid reasons to quit her job: she should have shared her plan with you at some point if for no other reason than to spare you the fruitless waiting.

Perhaps she had a valid reaason for not wanting to confront her manager: she *still* knew you would be waiting for you, that you obviously were in the store (therefore she saw you and still ignored your existance), and she declined to give you the benefit of simple courtesy in somehow signalling to you that she was not about to come in.

Perhaps she felt some sense of guilt or shame over the matter: yet she became defensive and refused to accept any personal responsibility for her own actions which affected a person she claims to care for.

Nope, I'm sorry. I cannot sympathize with her at all. There is something going on she didn't want you to know anything about (maybe not even as ominous as that sounds) and tried seven different ways to Sunday to keep you from doing just that.

I can understand you feel strongly for this girl. But I again ask you--are these the actions of someone who has your best wishes in mind? I personally wouldn't treat someone I dislike that badly, *especially* after they'd gone through so much to be with me and always had been 'there' for me!!!

I'd better go now. Once I cool down, maybe I'll write more. It bothers me no end to see good folks treated such, and *you* 250 are good folks.



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~Garnet FalconDance~

• Guardian of the Forests
  
• Ranger-Protectoress of Ironworks
  
• Scourge of Hobgoblins and Assorted Bad Nasties Everywhere![/list]

[Ladyzekke]

Twofiffee, you sound stressed a lot lately in several threads. Is this relationship emotionally healthy for you? I'd say no. You have put a lot of effort into it, but I do not hear much about return effort to you. If you do not feel she cares for you as much as you do for her, and this feeling has been going on for a while because of several circumstances, then most likely you are right. Don't bang your head against the wall 250, do what is best for YOU friend

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