01-22-2002, 01:13 PM | #1 |
Unicorn
Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
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Pumpkin Patch
Police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from the jail. Lawrence went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice the Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's . . . just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He got real surprised, as you'd expect, and then looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?'"
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01-22-2002, 01:25 PM | #2 |
Galvatron
Join Date: May 9, 2001
Location: The backwoods in Georgia *sigh*
Age: 39
Posts: 2,151
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quote:It's bad enough that he even did that, but that part just adds insult to injury.
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01-22-2002, 01:29 PM | #3 |
Manshoon
Join Date: May 17, 2001
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 167
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Dude! That's funny!
"What do you mean I'm humpin' a pumpkin??" Hee, that sounds cool... HUMPIN' A PUMPKIN!!! HUMPIN' A PUMPKIN!!! HUMPIN' A PUMPKIN!!! HAHAHAHAHA (HIDEOUS LAUGHTER)
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01-22-2002, 01:41 PM | #4 |
Elminster
Join Date: January 4, 2002
Location: New York
Posts: 415
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LOL HAHA! I thought people only did that with Bannans? Thats really disgusting however heh... Poor fella, could not get any from his girlfriend...
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<b>-Durwyn Foehammer</b><p><i>\"Don\'t you go a-meddling with old stone or cold wights or prying in their houses, unless you be strong folk with hearts that never faulter.\"</i> - J.R.R. Tolkien |
01-22-2002, 05:50 PM | #5 |
Set - Egyptian God of Chaos
Join Date: January 7, 2002
Location: Christchurch, New Zealand
Age: 45
Posts: 2,975
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quote: I'm hoping they're large bananas! [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]
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\"Doing stuff is overrated, like Hitler, he did lots of stuff, but doesn\'t everybody wish he\'d just stayed at home and smoked pot?!?\" |
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