I'm a dad & I'm feeling sad...

[TheDutkanator]

I brought my baby to the doctor yesterday for his 1 year check up and shots. For the 3 month and 6 month visits, he was doing great. His height and weight were in the upper 80-90th percentile. On this last visit, he dropped significantly. His height is now at the 45th percentile, and his weight is below 10 percent. The doc says that he should be able to say short sounds like "da", "ma", etc. He can't. He should be able to stand by himself without holding anything for 5 secs. He can't. He can pull himself up to standing with the edge of furniture though. I'm really worried because my wife's little brother has Muscular Dystrophy and so does her cousin. I feel like crying but the tears won't come. I try to help him stand, but it's like he can't or doesn't want to. He doesn't make a lot of sound during the day, and when he does, it's not like baby words, it's more like whines and whimpers, oohs and aahs. These are sounds he was able to make at 6 months, but he hasn't advanced since then. I don't know what to do. I can't help but wonder if he has MD or not. The doc says it's too soon for any real concern, but that's easy for him to say. It's not his kid!! I don't know what I would do if my boy was stuck in a wheel chair instead of running through the yard playing catch with me. I guess what I really need from all of you is your reassurance, and your prayers. Please....

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Let's get'em guen!

"I'm sorry, did I kill you?" -TheDutkanator

[This message has been edited by TheDutkanator (edited 10-25-2001).]

[250]

be brave!

I am typing a long post for you now, one sec

[Hayashi]

TheDutkanator
Words cannot express the fear you must be feeling. I myself am a father of two. All I can say is - try not to worry too much. Children develop at their own pace. The books which say that by a certain age, Junior is supposed to be able to this or that, well, take it with a pinch of salt. That is the average developmental cycle.
My daughter did not walk until she was something 19 or 20 months old. Prior to that she was not even able to stand up or crawl. She sort of "bottom shuffled" to get around. Then one day she was able to walk (uncertainly at first, of course).

[Djinn Raffo]

I dont have the words, the response, I can not put my feelings into words.
TheDutkanator...
My hopes are with you and your family...
Listen to what Hayashi says...it is very true.

[250]

this computer had crashed three times on me just at the point when I am about to finish... grrrr... but I retype it anyway! because this is important!

My deepest sympathy for you
I don't have a son that might be diagnosed with DM, so I am really in no position to tell you how to feel and how to react.

however, I do know a friend. a very special friend of mine, whom I love dearly. she was born hearing but lost the ability at early age. and she suffered many evil deeds of other people, and attempted to committe suicide (got evacuated in hospital) however, she lived on. none of what happened had been fair, yet, she lived on. she chose to battle life, she chose to live. I am always touched by that revolting and unyielding spirit

I also know a child who was born without ears, as well as his hearing. However, his father is very strong in faith. his father believed that he WILL make his child hear, and he WILL make his child strong so that he can live a life of his own. he'd repeat this idea over and over in his mind whenever he went to bed, and he'd tell him that as the first thing in the moring, and he'd repeat his faith over and over during the day.

until one day, he accidentally discovered that his child can bonehear. from that point of his life, he spent hours and hours just to put his lips on his child's neck, and talk to him. he'd tell his child how much he loves him, and how proud he is to be his father. most importantly, he'd tell his child that he can live a life just like everyone else, and he'd tell his child that he WILL hear. this strong faith had ignited such a desire in the young boy: that is to live and to fight

one day, the boy had gone on his own to his first business. he sold the cans he had saved and trade them with newspaper. then he went to his neighbours and sold the newspaper at a higher price. that night, he slept soundly with the 2 dollars he earned tightly cluntched in his hands. his mother saw it, and she cried uncontrolably, and his father laughed wholeheartily. for he knew that he had created something great in the boy's heart, he planted something so strong that cannot be torn apart even by the cruelty of fate. He KNEW that his boy would live strong and enjoy his life. (it is true, his son discovered a hearing device at age of 21 and was able to hear again. the son became that company's employee and worked and made a great name for himself)

I want you to read this:

(I will hit submit button for now, dont want to crash again, to be continued)

[250]

Prayer for His Son, A
by: Douglas MacArthur, More Sower's Seeds

Build me a son, O Lord,
who will be strong enough to know when he is weak,
brave enough to face himself when he is afraid,


Build me a son,
whose wishes will not take the place of deeds...
Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort,
but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenges.


Let him learn to stand in the storm;
let him learn compassion for those who fall.

Build me a son,
whose heart is clear, whose goals will be high
a son who will master himself before he seeks to master others;
who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past.


And after all these things aer his, add, I pray,
enough of a sense of humor
so that he may always be serious
yet never take himeself too seriously...


Then, I, his father will dare to whisper,
"I have not lived in vain."

[Jafin]

I'll be praying for you and your son. I know what it's like to have a very close family member with a serious disability. My father has had Multiple Sclerosis for the past 8 years. It's not easy, and it's because of this (other than that I want to hear of you and your son running around the back yard) that I will pray that he doesn't have anything wrong with him... I'd hate to see someone that young have to suffer with something like this.

With best wishes and prayers,
-Jafin

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Proud Citizen of the United States of America
The Original Arch-Mage of the HADB
Destroyer of the evil Bunnies
Proprietor of the Boogre Bar
The not-so-secret admirer of Lioness
Mage of the Court of Lady Lioness

[J.J.]

It is a terrible feeling to suspect that your child may not be developing the way they should - do NOT despair. Amanda was EXACTLY as you describe at one year - did not phonate words, made sounds more akin to the whines and mewlings, could/would not stand up without holding onto furniture or hands. She did not say her first word, or stand up and walk until damn near 14-15 months.
I had the same type of fears you did. Every child develops at a different rate, don't let the charts or experts cause you undue alarm - before long, you will be thinking wistfully of the time when they could not walk and talk, after the 12th time you turn around for 5 seconds and he disappears, only to be found trying to give the cat a bath in the toilet! If you want to email me, please feel free - I would be more than happy to share stories, help, and support

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Amanda's Dad-Best Damn Job, Period.

Official Pin-Up Girl Massager of the O.L.D. C.O.O.T.S. Clan
To Err is Human To Forgive Divine, However Neither is U.S. Marine Corps Policy.

[TheDutkanator]

JJ, thanks a lot. You're post was light-hearted and the cat in the toilet thing made me laugh. It was just what I needed to feel better. 250, you're post finally made the tears come. That's a good thing. It was very sincere and touching. If I hadn't gotten that out of my system, I may have exploded on someone soon. My fear is that it would be someone important to me. Thanks to all of you for your responses so far. I look forward to more. Your support is immeasurable.

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Let's get'em guen!

"I'm sorry, did I kill you?" -TheDutkanator

[Yorick]

*hugs the Dutkanator*

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[This message has been edited by Yorick (edited 10-25-2001).]