Looking for military items....

[Bungleau]

Why, you may ask? It's my job tomorrow night to ask people questions that make them think on their feet, and tomorrow's category is going to be military items... why why invented what they did, whatever it is.

I've got some easy thoughts, like...

• M-16 rifle
• MRE
• Combat boots
• Foxhole

but I'm looking to get up to around 15 or so. I know we've got some folks around here with an idea or two... so please share!

Thanks!

[Felix The Assassin]

* M-16 Very political, very degrading, very bad news, still is. Most other nations have long abandoned our standard machismo and have gone back to larger calibers.

* MRE = Meal Rejected by Everyone! 2007 brings us yet another new ration to coincide with the new logo. Coined by politicians as IAR (Individual Assault Rations), and nicked named by soldiers as First Strike Rations. We dress up in our under armor, then put on our ACUs, then we put on our armor, then our gear, then our assault pack, then an ammo load and weapon, (assault pack has a 100oz camel back inside it), we now weigh 55lbs more than before, it's well over 115* in the shade, but we ain't patrolling the shade, and the Army goes and cuts our carb intake by reducing the carb count in the MRE, and replaces it with things like a chicken sandwich so we can be a leaner, fitter kinda Army. Army Strong, First Strike, Go figure!

* Combat boots? Current issue is far from what I wore. Many are made by Converse, yes the tennis shoe Converse folks. In days gone by a combat boot= All leather NLT 9 1/2" of leather(for spit-shinning), lace up, steel shank, ankle protection from roll. Modern boot=All suede, rubber sole, soft speed lace, padded front support, padded side and ankle support, still must be at least 9 1/2" tall, it appears the steel shank support has either been well covered, or no longer present.

* ACU? Army Combat Uniform, all purpose. One pair can be either day/night summer/winter/ any environmental situation. All patterns have been digitally mastered for each and every cloth roll. All rip-stop material, cold in the winter hot in the summer, the uniform for you! The army finally did away with buttons, all enclosures are "gasp" Velcro, yes, you know, can be heard half a click away when someone pulls open a pocket, but hey, no more buttons! Special material has carried over from the old BDU, (ground) radar reflective - anti absorbing material, no iron, no starch, no metal. All insignia is Velcro as well, so there becomes an identity problem as well, the low man on the pole can no longer be charged with washing the squads uniform on hygiene day, unless of course you don't mind swapping an outfit or two. Lastly, the pull open flap on the right sleeve covers an IR reflector. Why? Because when pulled up and seen through night optics friendlies can tell friendlies apart.

* Range fan? The big orange left or right facing triangle that is viewable from the firing line that depicts the left and right firing limit.

* Basic Load? Tricky. For a tank? 40 rounds. For a grunt? 210 rounds.

* M9 pistol. The opposite effect of the political debacle of the M-16, we had to eat that slice of crow pie and retire the trusted .45. However, many agencies (SPEC-OPS) have reverted back to some form of .45 cal handgun.

* Plugger? The military version of a hand held GPS. Makes contact with "ALL" US satellites, up to 9 at a time, will plot a 10 digit grid, has secure comms capabilities. (When encrypted, is the second means of communications from a filed commander to the big house).

* Freq Hop? FM communications in the modern military are known as frequency hopping, time synced. So, unlike the Britney performance, when a platoon time syncs, then goes freq hop, all radios are satellite timed to within x of thousandths of a _ _ _ _ second and then all must be synced into the master unit, usually the one with the patrol leader, then released. Takes about 5 minutes to prepare a full platoon for dismount operations, but once set, frequency eavesdropping and jamming by the enemy are reduced to within 10 meters of the originating source, or a direct link to the master radio at time of set up. Friendly eavesdropping is "NOT" prevented. In common tongue, when two or more radios are in time sync, encrypted with the same encryption code, and set to fre hop, they make contact with one another on the basic set channel then freq hop through 3 channels a millisecond through the transmission. So when I key up and say "White this is White four" we just changed frequencies close to 100 times in that duration.

* TM = Technical Manual (Operators book).

* FM = Field Manual (Doctrine) (How to book).

* AR = Army Regulation.

* DAPAM = Department of the Army Pamphlet (How to for a AR).

* "15-6" Formal investigation.

* SIR = Serious Incident Report. (Not to be confused with an officer who would be called a Sir!)

* 00:00 or 24:00 = midnight. Time to power down and go boots up!

[Lucern]

An Aztec Macuahuitl - an Obsidian blade capable of decapitating a horse. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macuahuitl

The Sarissa - 13-21 foot spear that formed Alexander the Great's phalanx. A 21 foot spear is only useful with, you know, teamwork.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarissa

Just to balance out Felix's rather modern items: Catapult, 'Potato Masher' grenade (German WW2), crossbow, 'Ironside' ship, and my personal favorite, those little broom thingies on Napoleon's shoulder lol.

[Captain Obvious]

Taiaha:

http://www.shopnewzealand.co.nz/en/c...ha_Spear_Large

Basically a wooden spear thing. Good for smacking people round the head.

Mere:
http://www.aotearoa.co.nz/bones/pounamu/mere1.html

Basically a stone (usually greenstone) hand club. Good for smacking people around the head.

Additionally, the better looking these weapons were, the more mana their owners possessed. So, if a Maori Warrior wanted to cast 9th level spells, he needed a REAL flash geenstone mere.