The Married Man Quiz

Arvon · 01-27-2002, 02:43 PM

The Married Man's Score Board

(NOTE: a score of "0" means it was expected of him)

Simple Duties
------------
* You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty-liners with wings: +5
* But return with beer: -5
* You check out a suspicious noise at night: 0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing: 0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it's something: +5
* You pummel it with a six iron: +10
* It's her father: -10

Social Engagements
------------------
* You stay by her side the entire party: 0
* You stay by her side for awhile, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy: -2
* Named Tiffany: -4
* Tiffany is a dancer: -6
* Tiffany has implants: -8

Saturday Afternoons
-------------------
* You visit her parents: +1
* You visit her parents and actually make conversation: +3
* You visit her parents and stare vacantly at the television: -3
* And the television is off: -6
* You spend the day watching college football in your underwear: -6
* And you didn't even go to college: -10
* And it's not really your underwear: -15

Her Birthday
------------
* You take her out to dinner: 0
* You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar: +1
* Okay, it's a sports bar: -2
* And it's all-you-can-eat night: -3
* It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team: -10
* You give her a gift: 0
* You give her a gift, and it's a small appliance: -10
* You give her a gift, and it's not a small appliance: +1
* You give her a gift, and it isn't chocolate: +2
* You give her a gift that you'll be paying off for months: +30
* You wait until the last minute and buy her a gift that day: -10
* With her credit card: -30
* And whatever you bought is two sizes too small: -40

Thoughtfulness
----------------------
* You forgot to pick her up at the bus station: -25
* Which is in Newark, New Jersey: -35
* And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast: -50

A Night Out With Your Pals
----------------------------------------
* You have a few beers: -9
* For every beer after three: -2 again
* And miss curfew by an hour: -12
* You get home at 3 a.m.: -20
* You get home at 3 a.m. smelling of booze and cheap cigars: -30
* And not wearing any pants: -40
* Is that a tattoo? -200

A Night Out, Just the Two of You
-------------------------------------------------
* You go see a comic: +2
* He's crude and sexist: -2
* You laugh: -5
* You laugh too much: -10
* She's not laughing: -15
* You laugh harder: -25

Driving
----------
* You lose the directions on a trip: -4
* You lose the directions and end up getting lost: -10
* You end up getting lost in a bad part of town: -15
* You get lost in a bad part of town and meet the locals up close & personal: -25
* She finds out you lied about having a black belt: -60

Communication
----------------------
* When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen,
displaying what looks like a concerned expression: 0
* When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes: +5
* You listen for more than 30 minutes, without looking at the television or picking up a newspaper: +10
* She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep: -10

Sir ReGiN · 01-27-2002, 02:48 PM

[img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]
[img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img]

Yorick · 01-27-2002, 06:01 PM

Oh Arvon. This is priceless. Very funny.
Thanks.

Melusine · 01-28-2002, 09:09 AM

[img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/evillaughter2.gif[/img]
Very funny.... where do you keep coming up with these??

Tarox · 01-28-2002, 01:24 PM

Haha another terrible stereotype
But Funny of course [img]smile.gif[/img]

01-28-2002, 01:48 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Melusine:
[img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/evillaughter2.gif[/img]
Very funny.... where do you keep coming up with these??

hopefully not from personal experience

Sir Byronas · 01-28-2002, 02:01 PM

LOL, LOL, this is really funny!

Erydian · 01-28-2002, 04:36 PM

ROFL!!! That was a much needed laugh. [img]smile.gif[/img] And of course I had to show it to my boyfriend - while we're not married, there are some good hints/tips in there.

Pangur Ban · 01-28-2002, 07:56 PM

Sigh ...

I wonder if all this marriage stereotype stuff is writted by someone who is single - and probably going to stay that way ???

[img]graemlins/cat3.gif[/img]

Pang.

Mirac Honorguard · 01-29-2002, 05:13 AM

ROFLMAO (actually not unfortunately I'm on school atm :S)
This is really good, but when are you gonna put up the other version

01-27-2002, 02:43 PM	#1
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	The Married Man's Score Board (NOTE: a score of "0" means it was expected of him) Simple Duties ------------ * You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty-liners with wings: +5 * But return with beer: -5 * You check out a suspicious noise at night: 0 * You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing: 0 * You check out a suspicious noise and it's something: +5 * You pummel it with a six iron: +10 * It's her father: -10 Social Engagements ------------------ * You stay by her side the entire party: 0 * You stay by her side for awhile, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy: -2 * Named Tiffany: -4 * Tiffany is a dancer: -6 * Tiffany has implants: -8 Saturday Afternoons ------------------- * You visit her parents: +1 * You visit her parents and actually make conversation: +3 * You visit her parents and stare vacantly at the television: -3 * And the television is off: -6 * You spend the day watching college football in your underwear: -6 * And you didn't even go to college: -10 * And it's not really your underwear: -15 Her Birthday ------------ * You take her out to dinner: 0 * You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar: +1 * Okay, it's a sports bar: -2 * And it's all-you-can-eat night: -3 * It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team: -10 * You give her a gift: 0 * You give her a gift, and it's a small appliance: -10 * You give her a gift, and it's not a small appliance: +1 * You give her a gift, and it isn't chocolate: +2 * You give her a gift that you'll be paying off for months: +30 * You wait until the last minute and buy her a gift that day: -10 * With her credit card: -30 * And whatever you bought is two sizes too small: -40 Thoughtfulness ---------------------- * You forgot to pick her up at the bus station: -25 * Which is in Newark, New Jersey: -35 * And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast: -50 A Night Out With Your Pals ---------------------------------------- * You have a few beers: -9 * For every beer after three: -2 again * And miss curfew by an hour: -12 * You get home at 3 a.m.: -20 * You get home at 3 a.m. smelling of booze and cheap cigars: -30 * And not wearing any pants: -40 * Is that a tattoo? -200 A Night Out, Just the Two of You ------------------------------------------------- * You go see a comic: +2 * He's crude and sexist: -2 * You laugh: -5 * You laugh too much: -10 * She's not laughing: -15 * You laugh harder: -25 Driving ---------- * You lose the directions on a trip: -4 * You lose the directions and end up getting lost: -10 * You end up getting lost in a bad part of town: -15 * You get lost in a bad part of town and meet the locals up close & personal: -25 * She finds out you lied about having a black belt: -60 Communication ---------------------- * When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression: 0 * When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes: +5 * You listen for more than 30 minutes, without looking at the television or picking up a newspaper: +10 * She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep: -10 __________________ 53.7% of all statistics are made up

01-27-2002, 02:48 PM	#2
Sir ReGiN Gold Dragon Join Date: August 11, 2001 Location: The land of blonde virgins Age: 42 Posts: 2,563	[img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/lol.gif[/img] __________________ Take a look at your Promised Land<br />Your deed is that gun in your hand

01-27-2002, 06:01 PM	#3
Yorick Very Mad Bird Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Breukelen (over the river from New Amsterdam) Age: 52 Posts: 9,246	Oh Arvon. This is priceless. Very funny. Thanks. __________________ http://www.hughwilson.com

01-28-2002, 09:09 AM	#4
Melusine Dracolisk Join Date: January 8, 2001 Location: Amsterdam, The Netherlands Age: 43 Posts: 6,541	[img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/evillaughter2.gif[/img] Very funny.... where do you keep coming up with these?? __________________ [img]\"hosted/melusine.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /><br />Your voice is ambrosia

01-28-2002, 01:24 PM	#5
Tarox Manshoon Join Date: November 2, 2001 Location: Nottingham, UK Posts: 171	Haha another terrible stereotype But Funny of course [img]smile.gif[/img] __________________ <IMG SRC=\"http://tarox.homestead.com/files/TaroxE.jpg\">

01-28-2002, 01:48 PM	#6
Lord Shield Guest Posts: n/a	quote: Originally posted by Melusine: [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/evillaughter2.gif[/img] Very funny.... where do you keep coming up with these?? hopefully not from personal experience

01-28-2002, 02:01 PM	#7
Sir Byronas Mephistopheles Join Date: October 2, 2001 Location: Greece Age: 35 Posts: 1,463	LOL, LOL, this is really funny! __________________ <br />I\'ve searched the whole world and ended up back in Ironworks. Home sweet home!

01-28-2002, 04:36 PM	#8
Erydian Manshoon Join Date: December 14, 2001 Location: the great beyond Posts: 172	ROFL!!! That was a much needed laugh. [img]smile.gif[/img] And of course I had to show it to my boyfriend - while we're not married, there are some good hints/tips in there. __________________ Erydian<br />

01-28-2002, 07:56 PM	#9
Pangur Ban Avatar Join Date: June 3, 2001 Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 64 Posts: 569	Sigh ... I wonder if all this marriage stereotype stuff is writted by someone who is single - and probably going to stay that way ??? [img]graemlins/cat3.gif[/img] Pang. __________________ Not enough time to care ....

01-29-2002, 05:13 AM	#10
Mirac Honorguard Red Wizard of Thay Join Date: August 21, 2001 Location: Limburg, Netherlands, Europe Age: 42 Posts: 894	ROFLMAO (actually not unfortunately I'm on school atm :S) This is really good, but when are you gonna put up the other version __________________ <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[worship]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/worship.gif\" /> TES IV : Oblivion<br /> <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[worship]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/worship.gif\" /> Vanguard : Saga of Heroes

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